On the Fritz

Is it over yet?

2011-11-20T09:21:00.000-06:00

Good lord, how many more of these Twilight movies are they going to make? I'd be way more interested in them if Ashley Greene was the star, and she was running around dressed like this:

Source: Sports Illustrated 2010 Swimsuit issue

But seriously, there was one good Twilight movie. You can never go wrong with a Reese Witherspoon topless scene.

What's a guy to do?!?!

2011-11-07T20:29:00.000-06:00

I know I'm going to regret asking this, but has been boggling my mind for the last couple of months...

Ladies, do you know of any woman who agreed to have sex with a guy after he asked her to? (No details necessary, just a simple yes/no answer will suffice.)

It seems to go against everything I believe to be true about the male-female relationship model. I'm used to working for it. Be a nice guy, do some sweet talking, treat a women right, buy her a few things, and wait for her to be ready.

What's worse, it seems like it's a double-edged sword. If I ask a woman to sleep with me, she may get upset for thinking she's easy. But if I don't, I'd be accused of thinking that woman don't enjoy sex.

Can someone explain to me how this actually works? I mean, I know the best way is to find out for myself and do it. And I got nothing to lose. But just can't make up my mind.

Where's my iPhone?

2011-09-24T11:21:00.001-05:00

So, I have a classic 80 GB iPod (6th Gen), a Windows Mobile 6 Samsung SCH-i760 smartphone, and an original 16 GB iPad.

I'm starting hate Apple these days. Mostly becuase I'm responsible for managing them at John Deere, and they keep neglecting the business market in favor of personal consumers. But they'll screwing me over on that side as well.

My cell phone is nearly three years old and up for replacement. But I'm still waiting for Apple to release an iPhone with sufficient hardware capabilities. I want an iPhone that replaces both my cell phone AND my iPod. That means at least 128 GB of storage.

"Dude, just use the cloud." No. Besides the security concerns I have with opening up my data to the outside world, I don't want to PAY to store and access my own data.

"DUDE, YOU BOUGHT AN iPAD!!" That's besides the point. I bought a refurbished, bottom-of-the-line, previous version of Apple's famed tablet device TO REPLACE MY LAPTOP, after the AC adapter port broke on it. The $349 was cheaper than $600-900 for a new laptop, especially when all I'm using it for is Facebook/Twitter/web surfing from my couch or on the road.

So, back to the iPhone thing: I have over 7400 songs on my iPod, taking up 52 GB of disk space. Apple would charge me $100 a year to put all that music (up to 55 GB) in their iCloud. Amazon offers 100 GB at the same yearly rate. Not to mention what a service plan from a cell provider would charge me for streaming all that data (I listen to my iPod about 6-8 hours a day).

I am grandfathered in with Verizon's unlimited data plan, but I'd STILL have to get a newer phone, because the software to use either cloud on my 4+ year old dinosaur WM6 phone doesn't exist.

So, until Steve Jobs and Tim Cook release the type of iPhone I want, I'm not upgrading. I'll use the money I'd save from the cloud for a higher-end, larger capacity, and probably more expensive cell phone/MP3 player, only paying for the single upgrade and the ability to carry one fewer device with me when I leave the house. #WorthIt

What's my age again?

2011-03-21T19:32:00.001-05:00

I think I'm 30 going on 20. Consider this:

I dress in a T-shirt (long or short sleeve, sometimes both), jeans, and sneakers everyday.
I enjoy wearing hats. Baseball caps, winter beanies, Santa hats. I usually throw one on before leaving the house.
I think I'm invincible and that I'm going to live forever.
I'm trying to grow my hair out long, because I've never done it before.
I listen to my iPod at work and in public (unless I'm hanging out with someone).
I've been doing more social drinking lately (going to bars or people's houses for a few drinks).
I like going to and shopping at music and record stores.
I'm teaching myself to play bass guitar.
I'm constantly flirting with anything in a skirt (figuratively, not literally).

But you know what? Life is short. Why shouldn't I try to make the most of it by enjoying every single moment?

I like this new me. He's much better than the old me.

Don't hate the player, hate the game

2011-02-13T09:47:00.004-06:00

"Some of their rules can be bent, Others can be broken." - Morpheus, The Matrix

Saw this post on Twitter this morning and it got me thinking...

@ericamayer: "----> RT @REALChaseAdams: Don't forget that unlike your regular Klout score, familyKlout starts back at 0 everyday. It can't be gamed."

It took me back to something my friend Greg once told me when we were getting a drink. He was trying to tell me not to game the system. I don't remember WHAT system I was trying to game, but I think he was just trying to give me general advice.

That just doesn't work for me. I've been programmed to try to find a way around the system. A part of it is the human nature of trying to get the most out of something at the least possible cost. But I think video games may have been the biggest influence on me on this matter. You know how it is, learn the patterns, learn the rules, and exploit them. It's been ingrained into my brain. I'm constantly trying to figure out how to solve problems, with a combination of tackling and sidestepping them.

I applied myself in college the same way. After a year, I discovered that I didn't need to be at class every day (not that I had to, since I was going to a state school). Do the homework, show up to the lecutres a couple days before the test, learn what would be on the test, then study to the last minute, and I'd be fine. I wasn't looking for a 4.0 anyways, I was happy staying over the 3.0 mark.

I think some of my friends go annoyed by this. My freshman/fourth year roommate had his nose closer to the grindstone than I. Putting in more time hitting the books, while I was trying to coast. Yeah, he got better grades than I (he deserved it), but still.

And his girlfriend, she was CONSTANTLY studying to work on a Pharm.D. Pages and pages of study notes, lots of tests, lots of work. During my last year at NDSU, I'd stop by to visit with her and the rest of my friends in her quad, and she'd always be in the living room, pouring herself over all of it. I'm sure there were a few times she (and her roommates) would want me to leave to they could prepare in peace.

Someday, I'll be able to unplug myself from the Matrix and relax. Until then, I keep an ever vigil watch on the reality around me, so I can find the next exploit and game the system.

Anybody wanna start a band?

2011-02-05T10:10:00.000-06:00

Over the last couple of weeks, me and a friend in Phoenix, AZ are talking about starting a band and moving to Southern California (not necessarily in that order. She plays guitar, and I've been learning bass for the past six weeks. We're looking forward to playing with each other, but I'm itching to find some other musicians at my level to jam with until then (and who knows when that would be, our discussions have been VERY preliminary).

I've speculated on how we could put this together. I know we'll be looking for a drummer, a rhythm guitarist, and a multi-instrumentalist (keyboards, bass, rhythm guitar) who can be the wild card. Yeah, I know, what do we need with another bassist? Until I learn my chops, I'd feel better having an experienced bass player around to help me out. Plus, I'm also picturing myself as lead singer (I'm good at memorizing lyrics), so I may put the bass down for a couple of songs while we perform.

As for how big we'll make it, I'd be happy just being in a bar band. Playing to patrons on Friday and Saturday nights. Food, drinks, and some money to invest in my new hobby is all I'd ask for. Maybe getting to be good enough to be a permanent house band at an establishment (and if we can't do that, I'll BUILD a bar where we can be the house band).

Well, while we wait to see how this plays out, please let me know if you're interested in playing with me. Because for those about to rock, I salute you.

It's on

2011-01-29T08:55:00.000-06:00

So, I've renamed my blog "On the Fritz". You have to admit, it's a lot catchier than the old name, and a little more appropriate (given how I can be such a Fritz).

There's one problem though. Someone else is already using that for his blog name. But he hasn't posted anything in over a year!!

Since he isn't actively blogging, I'm taking the name "On the Fritz". I'm gonna fight my way up the Google search rankings and overtake him. If he wants to stay on top, he better get postin'.

And if you're reading this Frederick: it's on. You best bring your A-game, 'cuz I'm coming out swinging.

You're all a bunch of Nazi, conformist cheerleaders...

2011-01-10T23:27:00.001-06:00

I don't know how all you people can watch college football AND criticize the BCS system. Pick one or the other.

You hypocrites sicken me...

Steppin' up to the plate like Jim Thome

2010-12-08T17:44:00.004-06:00

It has been a stressful time for those of us in the IT department at Phoenix International. John Deere going through a massive reorganzation. We'll all reporting to new bosses, have new responsibilities, determining who will take over those roles. Lots of fun. But there's one man that hasn't been fazed by all this chaos.

Me.

I'm just as affected by this transition as anyone else. Especially since I've been promoted to an Infrastructure Anaylst, which is Tier 3 support. Determining hardware and software standards across the ENTIRE Deere enterprise. But I'm not getting all bent out of shape over this.

Maybe it's the happy pills. Maybe it's because I just don't care. Maybe it's because I'm just taking things one day at a time. As my new boss continues to stress, my first responsibility is to the unit. I have to keep the day-to-day operations going and provide Tier 2 desktop support to the end-users. And until I get my replacement trained in (and they find a replacement for him), that's my primary role at Deere.

I talked with my current boss late this afternoon, before we left for the day. She's overwhelmed, trying to do her new job and working with my fellow techs' new supervisors to move them into their new roles. There's just not enough time in her day to get through everything.

I, however, am looking pretty free and clear right now. My ticket load is down to the high teens, when it has usually been in the high 20's to low 40's. There are brief moments where I'm looking for something to keep me occupied, then I realize, I should just keep my nose on the grindstone. Continue to work on those old tickets still in my queue. Hack away at my projects. But I don't feel like it's enough. I want to do more.

That's where I want to go into Jim Thome mode. When Justin Morneau was out with a concussion (which kept off the field for the entire second half of the 2010 MLB season), the Minnesota Twins found a way to make it work. Michael Cuddyer came in from right field to play first, Jason Kubel moved out of the DH role and replaced Cuddy, and Jim Thome became the full-time designated hitter.

I told my current boss that I wanted to step up and help out in any way that I could. I have the availability, put me to use. She told me that this shouldn't have to all fall on me, it's supposed to be a team effort.

But isn't this what people DO when they're on a team? Step up to the plate, take a bigger role, carry them to victory? I don't expect to do it all either, I just want a chance.

A chance to come through like Thome. Yeah, I've got a back problem, and I'll probably strike out a few times. But I know I'm going to connect on one of them and just drive it out of the park. And everyone will celebrate. Then we'll get ready for tomorrow's game. It's a long season, and every win we can pick up is gonna help us.

So, put me in coach, I'm ready to play. Today. Look at me, I can be... Center Field.

Top 10 Bassists

2010-11-25T15:39:00.009-06:00

Disclaimer: Similiar to my list of top ten drummers, this not a list of the best bassists of all-time, or the best bassists around right now, or anything like that. I am not qualified enough to judge the abilities of every bassist in the history of the world against each other and determine the best. Nor is this a list of the bassists from my favorite bands (though there is a noticeable overlap; half of them are/were a member of one of my top five favorite bands). This is a list of the people I'd pay just to watch them play bass (without the rest of their respective bands) and get some pointers. They are presented in no particular order.

Kelly Ogden, The Dollyrots - One of my more recent favorites, I love her upbeat personality, and the way she has fun with it.
Maya Ford, The Donnas - She's also a pretty good artist, as seen by this Donnas T-shirt.
Mike Dirnt, Green Day - My favorite on this list. Author of one of my favorite Green Day songs, J.A.R. (Jason Andrew Relva).
Scott Shriner, Weezer - A great pick up after Mikey Welsh left Weezer in 2001.
Flea, Red Hot Chili Peppers - Slap-style technique, very cool.
Gene Simmons, Kiss - A tip of the cap to Gene for admitting why he markets the hell out of Kiss. He didn't want his kids to grow up poor like he did. His reality show is pretty good, I enjoy watching it.
Mark Hoppus, blink-182 - I prefer his singing to that of guitarist Tom DeLonge.
Greg K, The Offspring - Dexter and Noodles get all the love, but don't underestimate what Greg brings to the table for this band.
Matt Sharp, Weezer - Did a fantastic job when he was in Weezer.
Emma Anzai, Sick Puppies - The most hardcore (IMO) on this list. Just look at the way she rocks it in their video for "You're Going Down".

If only I had more time...

2010-11-18T18:40:00.007-06:00

I don't suppose anyone has a DeLorean I could borrow for a little while, would they?

No? Dang. Well, I had to ask...

Ever since I became a Donnaholic, I've wondered how much it'd cost to hire The Donnas to play a private show for me (and anyone else I'd want to invite).

I no longer have to wonder about that. I called their booking agents last night. For the low, low price of $15,000 + travel expenses, they could fly up to Fargo and melt my face off.

I'm surprised I was able to get a figure that easily. I had this elaborate pseudo-lie all planned out to snow the guy over and make it seem like I was completely serious about it. I'd be hiring them for my birthday (which is at the end of December), I had the money (which I do, just not easily accessible), I had a venue picked out (that was a COMPLETE lie). But Ron just told me. Quick and easy. I beat around the bush a little more, telling him I'd have to crunch the numbers. He told me to shoot him an e-mail if I could make it work.

And I think I CAN make it work. I'm assuming a minimum of $10,000 for travel expenses (flights, hotel rooms, meals) and venue rental. I think it'd be just enough to eke it out.

Onto the event itself...

Simple. They'd play at my birthday party. Help me celebrate my ascent (or descent) into 30. Then I started to think bigger. December 29th is only a couple days before New Year's. Let's combine the two!! It's been done before. It'd make the party even bigger. Perhaps sell some tickets and open it up to the general public (and recoup expenses).

But who am I to hog The Donnas to myself in such a small town?! If we're gonna do it right, we need a REAL location. The Twin Cities. This would also allow all my friends to come, which is all I've really wanted for my birthday. Spending it with the people I love. And I can't leave out the Donnaholics. I'd be willing to pay to fly a few of them in, like my friend Jennifer from Phoenix. Of course, with it being New Year's, I'm sure The Donnas and their crew would want to spend it with their loved ones. I'd allow all of them to bring one additional guest each (if they have an S.O.).

Additional airfare... Nice hotel for The Donnas to stay at... A metro-area venue for New Year's... We're looking at $40,000 now.

I just added up the numbers. If I mortgage my future and rob from every bank and savings account I have, I've got over $44,000 to my name. We're in business now...

Sadly, six weeks is not going to be enough time to pull this off. I should have started planning this in, like, August. And maybe saving the money up since... I dunno, 2008?

There IS always next year... :D

They're on to me!!

2010-10-29T11:14:00.006-05:00

The Phoenix metropolitan area is onto me and my nefarious plot.

Flew into Phoenix from Fargo yesterday evening. Landed at 8, got to my hotel at 9 (local time). Jennifer, a fellow Donnaholic with whom I'm going to the Arizona State Fair with tomorrow to see Godsmack and Five Finger Death Punch, picks me up at 10:30, after she's done with class. We drive around looking for a place to eat before we find a Denny's. We sit, talk Donnas, tell stories, and have a good time. She brings me back to my room after we're done, at about 12:30 AM. It takes me a half hour to wind down, then I went to bed at 1.

Half hour later, my room phone rings. I wasn't asleep yet, but I'm thinking "Who knows where I'm at? Who could be that crazy enough to track me down and call me?" It's the front desk. Guy tells me he received a report from other guest that I was being a disturbance. I think, "Noise? Yeah, it's late and I was watching some TV before I tried to go to sleep."

Nope. The guy was concerned because the other guests at the hotel thought I was trying to use Facebook on my cell phone to build SkyNet and usher in the end of humanity. I assured him this was not my intention, and he insisted that I stop using Facebook forever.

I love this place. I may even have to move here... XD

We landed on the moon!!

2010-09-20T21:31:00.002-05:00

America went to the moon in the late 60's and early 70's. No one's been back since. And if you believe the conspiracy theorists, we weren't there to begin with.

They say it was all filmed on a sound stage, because you don't see any stars in the background in those moon photos.

OK, fine. Answer me this then. You ever seen the stars in the sky on Earth IN THE DAYTIME?!?!

Done.

Uh, how full is my glass...?

2010-09-15T20:10:00.004-05:00

Anybody who knows me knows I'm a pessimist. I'd like to think I'm more argumentative, or maybe more realistic when they're trying to drown me with optimism. I agree that I go looking for clouds amongst the silver linings. But I realized something about my outlook on life the other day.

I may look at life as "glass half-empty", but I never actually USE that term. I always describe the liquid is in a container by how full it is.

So, what would that make me? I just don't know...

American Idiot musical soundtrack review

2010-09-08T19:55:00.001-05:00

Green Day has been a commercial juggernaut within the last 18 months. They followed up their most successful album to date, American Idiot, with 21st Century Breakdown, a very solid album in its own right, and worldwide tour to support it. EA released a Green Day Rock Band title. And most impressively, Billie Joe Armstrong worked with Broadway director Michael Mayer to turn American Idiot into a Tony award-winning musical.

If, in 1995, you tried to tell Green Day or any of their fans that they'd pull of something like this, he/she probably would have punched you in the face. But the soundtrack to the American Idiot musical shows how far Green Day has come in their 20 years together. This album shows both the band's maturity, as they all approach 40, yet how they've remained young at heart with their devotion to all things rock and their punk attitude.

I cannot stress how great this musical soundtrack is. In fact, I'd even say it's an improvement over the original American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown albums. Everyone involved just took this thing to another level. The cast of the musical has incredible vocal range, hitting and sustaining notes in a way that Billie Joe never could. They made such a production of the music by adding string sections and choruses (I love that kind of stuff; the more, the better, IMO). But Green Day didn't just sit on the bench during the recording of these tracks. They did what they do best on this album: they recorded most of the music themselves. Yes, that's Mr. Armstrong on guitar, Mike Dirnt on bass, and Tre Cool on drums. Finally, the album is uncensored. Honestly, you think Green Day would allow that? Hell no. No parental advisory label on the album either (not sure how they pulled that off, as the F-bombs are clearly audible throughout the album).

This is the first album I've ever listened to that IMMEDIATELY gave me goosebumps. And this was on a warm, sunny Sunday afternoon, during the summer, in a hot car, after picking it up at my local Best Buy. It instantly got to me, and I fell in love with it (and Green Day).

The album starts off with the title track, and you notice the first of the subtle changes with the music itself. The intro is a little bit different than that from the original version of the song. The goosebumps kick in when the cast sings round during the bridge from the guitar solo to the final chorus. So good...

The goosebumps continue into track 2, Jesus of Suburbia. Especially when "Heather" (Mary Faber), one of the female lead character, comes in for part 4 of this song, Dearly Beloved, and again for part 5, Tales of Another Broken Home. It's haunting, sending chills down my arms.

The next track, Holiday, starts off with an awesome bass intro. Mike Dirnt did a great job with it, trumping Billie Joe's original guitar intro. The "ooh, ooh, OOOOOH" during the guitar solo, the "THREE FOUR!!", the deep-toned piano into and during the bridge. Amazing. They melded into the rest of the song very well.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams starts out with an acoustic guitar intro that nicely mellows down the raw energy from the first three tracks. This relaxed tone is calmed down even more by the string section and lead character "Johnny" (John Gallagher, Jr.), but it kicks back into gear during the second chorus and bridge into the guitar solo. The outro really drives it home and brings the goosebumps back in full force.

Track 5 is Favorite Son. At first, I thought this was a new song written for the musical, but after some digging around on the Internet, I found out it was an unreleased B-side from the original American Idiot album, and it was eventually used in the protest compilation "Rock Against Bush, Vol. 2". I won't get into the politics this song MAY convey, but it's a damn good song. A real hidden gem. I love the female backup vocals chanting "Oh no, it's a drag" during the chorus that are anything but. The song stops briefly before the third verse goes off with a very appropriate "Now where's your fucking champion?" and a series of "Doot doo doo"s from those ladies singing backup. Chants of "It's your favorite son" and a drum outro segue nicely into Are We the Waiting. The entire cast continues delivering goosebumps with the choruses of "Are we, we are/Are we, we are the waiting". Tre Cool finishes out this song with a very nice drum solo. The outros for these two songs are some of the best drum work on the entire album. Tre one of the best in the business these days BY FAR.

St. Jimmy has a very quick pace to it, full of all kinds of energy, bringing you back up from the last track. I didn't like this song at first, thinking it was too busy, too noisy, too all over the place, but after listening it to it a couple more times, it grew on me. I can listen to it without pressing the skip button on my media player, but it'll never be my favorite track of this album, unlike...

Give Me Novacaine. This is my favorite song from the original American Idiot album. You can keep all those other songs that got released as singles, but this one? It's all mine. It starts out with the same drum beat as the album cut, but then the drums stop and an acoustic guitar starts, with Michael Esper ("Will") singing a couple seconds later, then a stringed portion during the first chorus. It turns the goosebumps up to 11. It gets me EVERY time. Then after the second chorus, the drums come in hard and fast, the cast belts out a "Aaah, novacaine", and a small snippet from a stringed instrument, BOOM, right into the guitar solo. Turns the goosebumps up to 12!! After the final chorus, the tempo comes back down, but not for long.

Track 9 is a medley of Last of the American Girls from 21st Century Breakdown and She's a Rebel from American Idiot. The cast goes back and forth between the two songs, not just lyrically, but musically. Last of the American Girls is backed solely by a stringed section, with She's a Rebel with the full rock, like the original. This medley is greater than the sum of their parts. Each original was good, but the two together is unbelievable. Everyone involved in this arraignment is a genius.

This album turns somber again with the stringed intro for Last Night on Earth. Another haunting song with "St. Jimmy" (Tony Vincent), "Heather", and "Whatshername" (Rebecca Naomi Jones) on vocals. It's chilling. Finishing off the roller ride of down, up, down, and back up again from these last four songs on Disc 1 is Too Much Too Soon. Another Green Day B-side, this time from the American Idiot single. It's got that classic, "I don't give a fuck" Green Day attitude. You just want to sink your teeth into it. Strong guitar riff, constant drum beat, driving bass line. Real good modern punk rock sound. The big "FUCK YOU!!" drives that point home so well.

Disc 2 kicks off with the first half of Before the Lobotomy. The organ intro sets up the four-man round of cast members Stark Sands ("Tunny"), Chase Peacock, Joshua Henry, and Ben Thompson. Each one finishes their respective verses, then repeats their parts as the next man joins in. I can picture a dark stage, with a spotlight coming down on each one they enter. It gets a little busy at the end, but you can still make out most of the words. Very well done. Extraordinary Girl, sandwiched between the two parts of Before the Lobotomy, has a very Middle Eastern tone with the opening beats and backing vocals. The reprise of the former song lights the fire after these two very relaxed songs. Again, goosebumps start as soon as this track opens up and will stay with you the rest of the way.

When It's Time is a song from WAY back in the Green Day. According to Wikipedia, Billie Joe Armstrong wrote during the Kerplunk! days for his wife Adrienne. It's a very sad song, with "Johnny" alone on vocals and guitar. It really touches you. You won't feel down for long, as Know Your Enemy will pick you back up again. It moves you to get up and do something about all the crap you've experienced in you rlife. It ends abruptly after a couple of minutes, which is a little disappointing. The original version clocked in a little over three minutes. They certainly could have done more with it, especially when you crash right into...

...21 Guns. This is probably the best track on the whole album. Six of the seven main characters sing this together, but it's the women ("Whatshername", "Extraordinary Girl", and "Heather") who really knock it out of the park. Haunting, chilling, driving, all filling you up with more goosebumps. It's got all the emotions we've heard across the album rolled up into this song. It's easy to see why a version of it with Green Day and the entire cast all together (with Billie Joe Armstrong handling most of lead male vocals himself) was released as a single. It finishes up with a couple lines from Nobody Likes You, part 3 of Homecoming. "Heather" sings "Nobody likes you, everyone left you/They're all out without you, havin' fun". Those words will stick with you FOREVER. I just can't get them out of my head.

Letterbomb brings the bar back up again (it's just one roller coaster ride after another). "Whatshername" carries the torch on this one solo with her voice. I expect Rebecca Naomi Jones to have a long, successful career after all is said and done. She's definitely one of the stars on this album. She belts out, "It's not over 'til you're underground," and just have to nod my head in agreement. The great guitar work and drums also carry this song to that higher level. It comes down again with Wake Me Up When September Ends. Another one of the vast improvements over the original version by Green Day. Again, conveying great sadness, more appropriate to its original intent (a story about Billie Joe's father passing away while he was a teenager). It really makes you reflect on those low members in your life, when you just wanted the calendar to turn the page to something better.

Homecoming starts bringing the show to a close, but it's doing so at full speed. The energy rides high through all five parts of this song, closing out with the entire cast singing the same last lines as 21 Guns. Whatshername is the final track from the musical itself, with a sobering piano intro and "Johnny" reflecting back on everything that's happened throughout the story line. Those aspects and the stringed portion after the first verse make you think, "Geez, it's just never gonna be the same, and that sucks..." But all hope is not lost. In the final sequence of goosebumpery, the "Aaaaaah..."s and guitar solo carry you into the cast repeating the chorus of "Remember, whatever/It seems like forever ago", you get the hope back. Yes, things have changed, but you can't go back and "fix" them. You have to continue down the road you're on.

The album closes out with Green Day's own version of When It's Time. It reminds me a lot of Good Riddance (Time of Your Life), but this one has the weight of the full band behind it. It's also one of the rare exceptions on this album (and perhaps the ONLY one) where they did a better job than the musical cast did. The Green Day version just doesn't seem like the emotional drag that the musical version is, and I think that's why I prefer it.

Start to finish, you go up and down with Green Day and the cast. It's a journey full of all kinds of emotion. This album is so good, it makes me want to fly to New York so I could see this show on Broadway. And I HATE New York with every bone in my body. It's just that good. All musical theater should be like this. I'd love to see other bands try to pull this off. Maybe Weezer can resurrect Songs from the Black Hole (the follow-up to their debut album, but ended up becoming Pinkerton). Or The Donnas can go on tour to support their upcoming Meatballs musical.

Green Day is one of the greatest bands in the last twenty years. With work like this, I expect them to stay on top for another twenty years. Keep it up, guys.

Thanks for nothing

2010-09-04T09:45:00.002-05:00

I really hate the words "Thank you." It just never feels like it's ever enough.

When I'm at work, busting my ass to fix a computer problem for a customer, they'll thank me for helping them out. But it feels empty to me. I know I'm just doing my job, and I'm being paid nicely for it, but I wish they'd do little more to show their appreciation. Maybe a little kickback or bribe. A small snack, an offer of an alcoholic beverage after hours, a few extra bucks out of their own pocket. If you really were thankful for helping you out, you'd SHOW me. Or tell my boss.

On the reverse side, "thank you" doesn't properly show my gratefulness for someone helping ME out. I could say it until I was blue in the face, and I'd still fall short. Doesn't matter who: family members, friends, customer service. I usually want to offer someone something in return. "Hey, I'll buy you beer". "You want me to come over and give you a hand with that?". Seriously, is there anything I can do to repay you? I'd like to give what I get; I don't want to feel like I owe anybody anything.

When I was in college, my roommate Paul talked about this book he read about the five languages of love. Words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I speak those last four languages pretty well. I want to spend time with the people I care for. I love gifts, usually receiving, but I'll put a lot of thought into giving something from the heart. I always want to lend a hand or borrow someone else's. Then there's the handshakes, pats on the back, man-hugs.

That first language? I understand most of it, but when you say "thanks", you might as well be talking French or Japanese, Arabic or Portugese. I'll show my appreciation for that on my face for about two seconds, then turn away in disappointment with a blank stare (I don't actually stare blankly, but that's how I feel on the inside).

Need help showing your love for me? I'd take advice from Gary Cherone and Nuno Bettencourt on that one.

Having a Blast (or five)

2010-08-29T12:42:00.000-05:00

I've been on a huge Green Day high the last couple of months. No, not Mary Jane, but the band. Partly because their recent commercial success permanently solidified them as my #3 band, but I'd also like to think it's because my Minnesota Twins have battled back from being 3.5 GB of Chicago to leapfrog them and Detroit for the AL Central lead. It'd had me thinking about one of my many fantasies: becoming the first player in MLB history to hit 5 (yes, FIVE) home runs in a game.

I know I stated that if I were a closer in the majors, I'd come onto the field to The Who's "Baba O'Riley". As a position player, however, I'd go with Green Day hits for my plate appearances. I'd rotate through a list of ten or twenty, including (but not limited to) "American Idiot", "Who Wrote Holden Caufield?", "Basket Case". The intros for each song would be played as I make my way from the on deck circle to home plate. If I were to hit a home run, the guitar solo would come over the sound system as I'm rounding the bases, greeting my teammates at home plate, and going back into the dugout. For my place in history, I'd go with these five, in order of game progression (first song for first plate appearance, etc.).

Picture a warm, early September afternoon at Target Field (or maybe Busch Stadium)...

** Geek Stink Breath - A power packed song to get the day started. Something to get the crowd going with a lot of energy (and they're going to need it). I'd start off with a solo home run in the 1st to give my team the early lead.
** Holiday - More energy for more power. And it'd work. A two-run shot in the third breaks the tie and puts us on top once again. Score at this point would be 3-1.
** When I Come Around - Take the tempo down a little bit. Try to play it cool from having a good day at the dish. This fifth inning, three-run homer would increase our team's lead to 6-2. After this third round-tripper, the fans would be giving me a standing ovation, and I'd come out of the dugout non-chalantly for a curtain call. I don't know why they'd be so into it. The game's far from over (as they'll soon find out), and plenty of people hit three home runs in a game all the time. Big deal...
** J.A.R. (Jason Andrew Relva) - Here's where things get interesting. Our opponent has battled back and taken an 8-7 lead on us. I'm coming up in the seventh, with a man on second and a shot at the record books. Only 15 men have accomplished this feat in MLB. With one swing, I become #16 and put us back in front 9-8. I get another standing ovation from the crowd and acknowledge it, showing a little more emotion about it compared to the last one.
** Hitchin' a Ride - That lead became short lived. Our opponent is up 11-9 heading into the bottom of the ninth. I come up with two outs, bases loaded. After a first-pitch ball, their closer fools me once with a nasty slider I swing at (shame on him), then catches me looking at a sweeping curve (shame on me). One more pitch to decide the whole thing. I swing and connect with his next offering, a fastball on the outside part of the plate. I start a VERY slow trot down the line, while I and everyone else in the stadium (including those of us on the field) watch the flight of the ball to left center field, the stringed portion at the end of the bridge comes on the speakers. As the ball clears the fence and lands, Billie Joe screams "SHIT!" and the solo kicks in. Everyone is going crazy. I jump for joy once on my way to first, then shake my right fist as I head to second. I give a big Kirby Puckett-esque fist pump on my way to third, then make the turn home where my teammates are awaiting. They've got a nice three-foot radius cleared out for me. After I touch home plate and raise both my arms in the air in celebration of our 13-11 win, we do a World Series-caliber jumping group hug/mob (like Joe Carter and the 1993 Toronto Blue Jays).

I stay on the field for a few minutes to take it all in, maybe give an interview (where I don't want to talk about my accomplishment, but how we won an important game to put us in prime position in our run into the playoffs). We ride the high of that game into the division lead, League Divison and Championship Series, and finally a World Series victory.

Certaintly a VERY far-fetched dream. But hey, it's for the love of the game, so it's OK.

Best idea ever!!

2010-08-22T12:51:00.002-05:00

First Mark Cuban tried to buy the Cubs.

Then he tried to buy the Rangers.

I think Cuban should go after the Dodgers next. Try to save them from the divorce of Frank and Jamie McCourt, like the bankruptcy of Chicago and Texas. One of the biggest media markets in America? Flashy Los Angeles? A team with a very rich history? It'd be perfect!! Exactly what the Dodgers need to get to and stay on baseball's top tier in the current age.

Weezer at 2010 Basilica Block Party - Concert Review

2010-07-23T21:39:00.003-05:00

On Friday, July 9th, I crossed off one of the top priority items from my bucket list by attending the 2010 Basilica Block Party in the Twin Cities and seeing Weezer perform on stage.

The set kicked off with "Hash Pipe", a great choice for it's catchy guitar hook. Dun-dun-DUH-naa, dun-dun-DUH-naa... You knew you in for a hell of a show with that opening riff. After that, Weezer's true colors revealed themselves with the next song, "Troublemaker". Rivers Cuomo was singing lead WITHOUT a guitar, so he started started climbing the stage set onto speakers.

I felt a little ashamed watching his antics. I've always considered Weezer to be "geek rock", for the way my fellow geeks have embraced these guys as one of our own. The look, the attire, the meticulous attention to detail, their music evolution throughout their seven-album catalog. But that night, Rivers seemed more like a dork (heck, they all did with guitarist Brian Bell in a polo shirt, Rivers in his red jacket over the top of a polo shirt, bassist Scott Shriner in a brown kilt, and drummer/guitarist Patrick Wilson in a faded gray T-shirt and plaid green and blue shorts) with how he was flailing his arms around while "dancing" and belting out the lyrics. As the song came to an end, he tried to take one of the production crews' cameras and hoist it up on his shoulder, with mic still in hand and singing the last few lines. Someone should have given that kid a guitar...

The rest of the night continued in mostly the same manner as they played a nice variety of songs from the Blue Album to Raditude. After being troublemakers, Weezer charged through Undone (The Sweater Song) and Surf Wax America, to a "medley" of Trippin' Down the Freeway and Keep Fishin'. I use quotes there because they only did a few lines from Keep Fishin'. I wish they would have played more of that song. It's one of my top five favorite Weezer songs (if you want to know why, check out the music video).

After that medley, they played Perfect Situation, and then Dope Nose, with Scott taking on the lead vocals for Rivers. Over the last several years, from about Make Believe onward, Weezer has shifted away from being a Rivers-ocracy towards involving the rest of the band more in the performance and authoring process. That's a good thing. Scott, Brian, Patrick and are all very talented musicians in their own rights, and they bring a nice contrast to both Rivers' musical and lyrical style. I would have liked to seen more of this, maybe next time.

Next on the setlist was one of Weezer's crown jewels: Say It Ain't So. For most of the night, and ESPECIALLY during this song, I sang along at the top of my voice. This was also one of the first songs where Rivers was playing guitar while he sang (a VERY NICE white Gibson SG). After they finished this song, the rest of the band took a bit of a break while Rivers switched to an acoustic guitar and started out with a solo performance of Island in the Sun. This was a cool and collected performance, but as soon as Rivers completed the second chorus and went into the bridge, the rest of the band joined back in and turned it back up to 11. An excellent job kicking the show back into high gear, almost like a second wind.

After some Can't Stop Partying action, there was some more intra-band collaboration when Brian and Rivers shared the duties of lead vocals on El Scorcho. They played My Name Is Jonas, then made the turn at third and started bring it home by going to their bread and butter of their more recent hits, Beverly Hills and Pork and Beans, the lead singles off Make Believe and the Red Album, respectively.

They finished their set with a two-song medley. I didn't recognize the first half, so I made a note of the lyric "control yourself, take only what you need" to look it up online later. I found out it was MGMT's Kids. I'd never heard of it before, but after listening to their original version, I think Weezer did a better job with it than they did. The second part of that medley stabbed me in the back. Lady Gaga's Pokerface. Ugh, now I was REALLY embarrassed. I don't care for most pop stars from the last ten years, and even less of those who dress in ridiculous costumes like she does. But again, Weezer made an improvement over her version of that song.

The show was over after this final song. Or was it? No, of course not. Weezer came back on stage a couple minutes later to perform (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To, the lead single off their most recent album, Raditude. Finally, THE Weezer song, Buddy Holly. And that was it, more than an hour and a half later. A very solid, balanced setlist from their 18 years together.

A few things to nitpick on after it was over. They only played one song from Pinkerton. I would have loved another one from that album, like Falling for You or maybe Why Bother?. As I mentioned before, they should have also played Keep Fishin' in its entirety. A little more Patrick Wilson; he seemed a little too quiet for the goofball he can be (check out the Photograph music video; there's a guy who really enjoys life). And I can never get enough Weezer. I wish they could have played a few more songs, at least enough to fill up another 20-30 minutes.

Overall, I give the concert a 9.5 out of 10. There was very little filler between songs, and they touched upon many of the top-tier tunes. I had been worried that I would have never seen my favorite band perform live after the bus accident last winter that almost took Rivers from us. I don't have to worry anymore; I'm as good as he and the rest of was on stage that evening.

You guys could learn a thing or two...

2010-07-05T09:36:00.005-05:00

Even though Weezer is and will forever be my favorite band, and I fell head over heels in love with The Donnas last Labor Day, I really think Green Day is the team to beat now.

If Green Day continues the musical and commercial success they've had over the last 12 months, the bands in my top two could fall out of their respective rankings. How can Weezer and The Donnas solidify their spots? Easy, just borrow from Green Day's playbook.

For example, Rivers Cuomo and the rest of Weezer should go back to Songs From the Black Hole. This album was planned as the follow up to the Blue Album, but the idea eventually fell apart and the end result was Pinkerton (which itself was a good album, but not the immediate commercial success that the Blue Album was, and more or less caused Cuomo to disappear from the scene for a few years). With the success of the American Idiot musical on Broadway, maybe it's time for Weezer to go back to that fountain. They can make it work, Rivers is just a musical genius, and I'm sure he and a broadway director would hammer out a damn good show.

As for The Donnas, they should also release their own Rock Band title. I love playing Green Day: Rock Band, even more than Rock Band 2. I realize that The Donnas: Rock Band is probably more of an EA decision than anyone else's, but I've thought most of this out. Three of the four venues would be Hugh Center Court at Jordan Middle School in Palo Alto, CA, site of their first performance when they were still in the eighth grade; the auditorium hosting the battle of the bands in the Take It Off music video; and Pappy and Harriet's Pioneertown Palace, site of Desert Moon 2, the holy grail of live Donnas performances. As for the song list, I think there'd be significant overlap with this sampler platter playlist and the DM2 setlist. I don't think you'd have full albums like GDRB, but definitely 4-5 songs from every single album they've released (might be a little tricky, though, since The Donnas have been on 3 separate record labels in their 17-year history).

I really can't make it any simpler than that. You have your orders, so get to work. :D

Medical update - 6/27/10

2010-06-27T16:20:00.010-05:00

Let's start with the good news. My back is doing much better. It was giving me the usual problems last Monday (6/21), plus some extra aching in my middle back, to the left of my spine. Then at about 9 or 10 that evening, I was able to stand fully upright once again, and have been able to do so ever since. Physical therapy has helped as well, especially the electro-massage on my lower back. My spine still looks like it's out of alignment, I've got a cortisone injection tomorrow morning, then two more physical therapy appointments next week. I'm trying to avoid overexerting myself at work. I'm using the spare roller backpack to "carry" my laptop, using the cart to move equipment around (regardless of size), and taking the elevator to my desk (I know the building only has 2 floors, but still...). The ultimate test will be to hit some golf balls; will have to MAYBE give it a shot next weekend (depending how this week goes, painwise).

The bad news? It's REALLY bad. Met with my doctor on Wednesday, and he informed me that I likely have MS. He can't say with 100% certainty, though. The lumbar puncture indicates I do. The MRI and vision problems do as well. But since my vision problem is the first and only attack, they can't absolutely confirm I have MS, until I have another one.

What does this mean? I'll start treatment to prevent additional symptoms soon. The doc gave me a bunch of homework on various steroid medications that I'd have to go on. I need to go through it and pick one. All of them are about the same; it's a question of how often I'll need to inject them and where I need to inject them (subcutaneously or intramuscularly). Also means I'll need to get yearly MRI's. It's not going to be cheap, either. Insurance will cover most of it, drug companies have programs set up to cover a good chunk of the rest. My doctor is also looking into getting me into a study program for a new oral medication; we'll see how it plays out. Follow up with him is at the end of July, but I'll probably select a treatment program before then. However, there's no guarantee that I'll fully get my vision back.

I'm not too worried about all that, though. I'm trying to think more bigger picture. How this is going to interfere with my life, which I've decided is zero. I'm going to continue being me, like nothing was ever wrong. In fact, I'm gonna start living like tomorrow's my last day on earth (even though it isn't). Prime example: I'm going to the Twin Cities in a couple weeks to see Weezer in concert. I had some concerns about my back problems stopping me, but this whole thing makes me realize that I can't be passing up opportunities like this.

On the other hand, this does handcuff me to my current job, I had thought about quitting so I could move to the Twin Cities and go full-steam on my search for a new one. But I certaintly can't do that now, or I'd lose my insurance coverage (I've been told by friends if I actively have insurance going into my next job, the new provider can't play the "pre-existing condition" card).

Again, I don't want to talk about this much further. That's all I've got to say about that. Let's talk about something else. Go out, grab a drink, maybe a bite to eat and discuss sports, music, movies, stories. I don't care, just anything but my impending doom.

Thank you all for all the good vibes you've been sending my way. Please keep 'em coming. And I hope to hear from you soon.

It's a dark day...

2010-06-22T00:12:00.004-05:00

Whatever happened to the good ol' days when vampires and werewolves were primal, bloodthirty monsters to be feared, not whiny, emo-listening, angst-ridden, pansy-ass teenagers? And where are Blade, Abraham Whistler, and the Nightstalkers or Buffy and the Scooby Gang when we need them most?

It truly is the darkest before the dawn...

Medical update - 6/18/10

2010-06-18T14:36:00.003-05:00

Updates on my medical condition (originally reported on 6/16):

In addition to the vitamin B12 deficiency, I'm also lacking D. I've started a daily vitamin regiment to try resolve both of these problems, but it may not be enough to take care of the B12. I had the first of six (6) weekly injections for B12 this afternoon. After that, they want me to come in monthly for the shots. I'll be re-evaluated on this front in a few months.

Saw my back doctor yesterday afternoon. She sent me back to physical therapy, and signed off on another lumbar injection of steroids to take care of the pain issues I've had since Sunday. First PT session is Tuesday, waiting to hear back from the pain clinic on the lumbar injection. My back doctor was also the one who informed me of my vitamin D problems and suggested taking supplements to correct it. Back doctor was also telling me my neurologist is hoping the vision and back problems would be fixed with the B12 shots.

I have not heard anything back yet on the lumbar puncture and blood work from Monday, with the exception of the vitamin problems (and I'm assuming that's how the docs knew about those problems). Follow-up appointment to discuss the results still scheduled for Wednesday.

Back is feeling a bit better today, as I had the day off. No noticeable change in the vision in my left eye.

2010-06-16T21:44:00.002-05:00

I admit it; life hasn’t gone the way I wanted it to. I don’t like my job, but can’t find a new one. I still live in Fargo. I’m single. Most of my friends have moved away and/or started having kids. The Yankees won the World Series last year. I’m working on making some lemonade; I got my recipe, but can’t seem to put it all together yet. Through all this, I’ve always had my health. Or I did…

Three weeks ago today (May 26), I woke up with a problem with my left eye. The vision from it was dark and fuzzy. At first, I thought my brain was still trying to boot up, or maybe I just put my contacts in wrong. I sat through my first meeting that morning, waiting for my eyes to get it together, but no luck. I went to the walk-in clinic, and about 90 minutes later, I was seeing an optometrist. She found nothing wrong with my eye itself, but discovered I was suffering from optic neuritis, inflammation of the optic nerve. Then my optometrist said that this could be caused by multiple sclerosis (MS). Optic neuritis is the initial symptom for MS in 20-30% of the cases.

I didn’t really react to this news. Mostly because it wasn’t conclusive, nor was it proven to be MS. I kind of continued my normal life (as best as I could), but the possibilities bounced around my head like a super ball on speed. I tried to reach out to some of my friends so I’d have someone to talk to, but couldn’t find anyone. I was losing my sight, losing my mind, wishing someone would tell me I was fine. My parents came down to Fargo Memorial Day weekend (because they already planned to, not because of this). I stood out on my balcony as they arrived and started bringing everything up to my apartment. I started to lose it a little bit. No crying, but you could hear my fears and worries in my voice. After about 20 minutes, I pulled it together and got through the rest of the night OK.

They came with me to my MRI the following morning (May 29). I was getting the MRI because the doctors wanted to look for white matter lesions on my brain to help them confirm or rule out the MS diagnosis. My folks stayed at my place for the rest of the weekend, but came back down on Thursday (June 3) to accompany me to my appointment with a neurologist.

There was nothing conclusive on my MRI in terms of the MS. A couple of spots on my brain that maybe looked like white matter lesions, but nothing definitive. We kicked around the idea of me going on a steroid regiment to restore my vision, but we didn’t catch it early enough (not sure how that worked, I came in the same morning I was having issues…), so it probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference. I decided against it, because I was not a fan of having to give myself multiple injections a week.

I was scheduled to take a few more tests. I went in for another MRI the next evening (June 4), this time to check my spine for MS. I had an issue where I was experiencing tingling and numbness on my right side from my mid-torso down to my knee in mid-April over the change in my pay schedule, due to the IT realignment at John Deere. They wanted to see if this was also caused by the MS, and not anxiety as my primary physician originally stated. A VER test (not sure what that acronym stands for) the next Tuesday (June 8), which consisted of me staring at a pulsating red dot in the middle of a moving black-and-white checkerboard pattern on a computer screen.

And to top it all off, a lumbar puncture (also known as a spinal tap) this past Monday (June 14). That procedure was relatively uneventful, or at least as relatively uneventful as getting a big needle poked into your spinal column so they can draw fluid out. Also got some blood drawn. Again, they’d test for MS, but they are also looking for Lyme disease and other possible infections. Most of the tests are being done up here, but some have been sent down to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.

The results will come back early next week. I’ve got another appointment to follow up with my neurologist’s office next Wednesday (June 23). Until then, I’m going to continue living my life. Doing all the things I’d normally do. It isn’t that bad, it just looks like I forgot to put one of my contacts in.

Well, this kind of thinking got me into more trouble. I know, what else is new? I purchased floor tickets in January to go see Nickelback, Sick Puppies, Shinedown, and Breaking Benjamin at the Fargodome on May 27. One day after I started having vision problems. I told myself, “Hell, my vision might be screwed up, but my hearing OK. This isn’t going to stop me from going to the show and having a good time.”

I had a great time. Mostly. I got into the concert at 5:30, went down to the floor, and proceeded to enjoy all the excellent rock music. But as the night progressed, my back started bothering me. I tried to turn and twist and bend and stretch to relive the pain, but around 8:00, I started going down into a crouching position for extended periods of time (about 2-3 minutes each). I willed myself to make it through the rest of the show, as I had paid $70 and I wasn’t going to let it go to waste. This may have been a bad decision. I was hurting bad by the end of the night. I continued to have some pain in my lower back and my left leg. Nothing I was doing (ice, pain relievers, ointment) alleviated the pain. It wasn’t too bad; I was able to work through it…

…Until this past Sunday (June 13), when I needed to do my laundry. I had to wash everything: towels, socks, underwear, bedsheets, shirts, pants. As the day progressed and I carried loads up and down the hall to the laundry room, I started feeling more and more pain. I finally had to stop before it was all done because I was in such rough shape. Since then, I can’t stand up straight. I’m walking around like a caveman, all hunched over. I’m in considerable less pain when sitting or lying down, but it still lingers there.

In case you’re not aware of this, this will be the THIRD problem I’ve had with my back, and I’m more than SIX MONTHS away from my 30th birthday. The first round happened in the Fall of 2000, when I was a sophomore at NDSU. I think it all started by standing outside the Fargodome, starting at 8 AM, waiting for the doors to open for the NDSU/UND football game that afternoon. Then, once we got inside, we continued to stand throughout the game. Somehow, when we picked a place to sit, we chose a spot were there wasn’t enough seats for everyone, and then ended up one row above my friends, again where there wasn’t a spot for me to sit down at any point in the game. A couple weeks later, after persistent sharp pain in my left hip, I thought rollerblading would help stretch out the stiff muscle I thought I had in that area. Wrong. Made things worse. A month later, after spending a Friday working on my laundry, the pain in my leg and back got so bad, I went to the emergency room at 1:30 AM. Saw a neurologist, a physical therapist, and a chiropractor, but they couldn’t fix it. I kept telling them and my parents I needed surgery to fix it, but they insisted against it. I was barely able to fly home for Christmas break, and when my mom and dad saw how bad of shape I was when I got off the plane, they yanked me out of college and got me to a doctor who confirmed my beliefs, though it was still ANOTHER month before I finally was treated.

This past summer, maybe after going to the Green Day concert on July 11 (and again standing on the floor the whole evening), and maybe after playing hockey all winter, spring, and most of the summer, I started having the same pain in my hip that I had as a college sophomore. I was worried that I was going to go down that same road and be put under the knife again. I stopped playing hockey for the rest of the year, but the pain continued. I saw the doctors (not any of the same ones as the last time around), who sent me to physical therapy. I also got a couple of monthly lumbar injections of steroids. This time, the non-surgical treatments worked. I became completely pain-free (except after one potentially last hockey game, but I was fine again after a couple weeks of rest).

And when it comes to back problems, I’m already playing with the deck stacked against me. My dad has had three back surgeries by the time he was fifty. A couple of his brothers have also had the same problems. It’s one of those degenerative things, since my dad’s family went through it, I was kinda doomed from the start.

I’m going into see the doctor tomorrow afternoon. Same one as my most recent bout with backitis. They’re going to take some x-rays, and look at my most recent MRI (they found some disc bulging in my back, but no one ever told me WHERE it was). Not sure where this is going to go yet, but I’d like to get back to normal ASAP, with the trips I have planned for the first couple of weekends in July.

Well, you think it couldn’t possibly get any worse right? No. A nurse from my primary physician’s office called me this afternoon, telling me I have a B12 vitamin deficiency (barely, I’m just slightly under the lower limit for a normal range). Not sure if this discovered from testing the blood drawn from me on Monday or not. I’m gonna go in on Friday to get an injection and get this taken care of. I don’t think a lack of B12 is causing either of these issues, but looking at the symptoms, I found a number of things on that list I have been struggling with lately (fatigue, weakened memory (in the form of more brain farts than normal), irritability, depression).

I just want to get all this over with and be healthy again. I’ve got too much other stuff to worry about, and I don’t want to put my life on hold, like I did 10 years ago before, during, and after my back surgery.

I don’t want to talk about this either. Please, let’s talk about something else. Sports, music, video games, puppies. Tell me what’s going on in your life. Call me, e-mail me, find me on Facebook. I don’t care, just as long as it’s anything else.

And until all this is fixed, I’m going to see if I can find the receipt for this body I got from God, so I can exchange it for a non-defective one. I know I have it around here somewhere…

Welcome to the mountain top...

2010-06-13T19:07:00.002-05:00

Your own kick-ass Rock Band title? A Broadway musical based on your multi-Grammy, multi-Platinum rock opera?

Welcome to Level 6, Green Day. Sit anywhere you like. Keep up the good work. Glad to have you aboard.

Dark Horse Tour - Concert Review

2010-05-28T09:13:00.013-05:00

Last night, the 2010 Dark Horse Tour with Nickelback, Sick Puppies, Shinedown, and Breaking Benjamin came to the Fargodome, they put on one HELL of a show. Here's my review of the evening's festivities:

Sick Puppies - They were awesome, despite the short set (only 5 songs). I debated about going to meet them at one of the merchandise vending locations, but decided against it, in fear of losing my spot on the floor (I got within 30-40 feet of the stage when I arrived), and because they are going to be back in Fargo in a couple weeks to play with Papa Roach. I might have to go check them out.

Shinedown - They were good, but I'm going to nitpick on them. I wish they played a little more older stuff (all but 2 of their songs were off their new album, "The Sound of Madness"). And they could have used a little less acoustic guitar and rocked out more (they played three songs that'd be considered rock ballads). However, Brent Smith has an amazing stage presence. Reminded me a lot like Josey Scott when Saliva played here in Sept. 2007.

Breaking Benjamin - This was the only "meh" band on the tour, and by that I mean I was indifferent to them. I went to this show to see every band on the bill BUT them. Regardless, they were good, in that they didn't suck.

But I didn't get much of a chance to enjoy their set because: 1) My back was really starting to kill me at this point. Doors opened at 5:30, and Breaking Benjamin's set started around 8, so I'd been standing for close to three hours at this point. I had to frequently drop to a crouching position to relieve the pain. Thank you to the two fellow concertgoers for checking to see if I was OK. 2) Three drunk girls behind and to the left of me who HAD to start dancing halfway through the set. They kept bumping into me. It was very annoying. And they were DRUNK; they had been holding onto all their beer cups since the evening started, and I counted 6 in one girl's hand. I usually don't have a problem with people who drink, as long as it's responsibly and they aren't causing havoc to others. Fuckin' bitches... Needless to say, this was the most sour moment of the evening.

Nickelback - The headliners, but to be honest, if Shinedown and Sick Puppies weren't opening, I don't think I would have went. Don't get me wrong, I do like Nickelback, just not enough to pay $70 JUST to see them.

They put on one amazing show. Playing some of my favorites, like "Figured You Out" and "Someday". Daniel Adair's 6 minute drum solo was probably the best I've ever heard. I'm going to have to promote him Top 10 Drummer status after that, but I'm not sure who to bump off the list (I'm getting off-topic). And the partial covers of Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places" and Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'"? God, I WISH they would have played them all the way through, those were GOOD. Guitarist Ryan Peake was right when speaking of the latter, "I wish we'd written this song". I'm sure it would have torn the roof of the Fargodome.

However, the thing that I'll remember most from Nickelback's performance was Chad Kroeger. Firstly, he cut hair and trimmed his beard!! He looks like an extra on an episode of Dawson's Creek. Not very rock 'n' roll. Secondly, he acted like a stereotypical frat guy. You know the kind, only cares about drinking, perverted mind, cusses like a sailor. I don't know if this is what he's really like, or if this is just a persona, but either way, I can see why critics say the things they do about Nickelback. Regardless, he and the rest of the band had a good time on stage.

And I had a good time watching them and all the rest of the bands at that concert last night. I give the entire show a 9 out of 10. I also proceeded to purchase four albums this morning, Sick Puppies' "Tri-Polar", Shinedown's "Us and Them" and "The Sound of Madness", and Nickelback's "Dark Horse" (I woulda bought them after the concert, but they were $15 each, but only $10-13 each on Amazon).

Shimon, Emma, Mark, Brent, Zach, Eric, Barry, Benjamin, Aaron, Mark, Chad, Chad, Ryan, Mike, Daniel, and Timmy, thank you once again to coming to Fargo and putting on a great show. We'd love to have you back again someday.

And I care what you think because...?

2010-05-23T16:30:00.006-05:00

I don't care what you think about me. And there's one of two reasons for that. Either...

1. You're my friend. You already like me, so I don't need continue earning your approval. Now, you may disagree with me, you may not understand me, you may even think I'm being an idiot. There's nothing wrong with that. I know you're looking out for me, but you accept that I have to live my own life, form my own opinions, and make my own mistakes.

OR...

2. You're not my friend. If you want to be friends, we can have a discussion and come to some sort of agreement. Even if it's only to disagree. And if we can't be friends after that discussion, I'm fine with it. No big loss.

If you don't want to be my friend, then to hell with you. I don't need you. I don't want you. You're just some jerk, and I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.

Ultimately, I don't answer to you. I answer to ME. I'm going to do what makes me happy. As long as you can be happy for me, we're good. If not, I'm better off without you. Just go away...

Dome Sweet Dome

2010-05-07T19:12:00.006-05:00

As I right this, the Minnesota Twins should be hosting the Baltimore Orioles in the second of a four-game series. Mother Nature had other ideas, as the Twins have been rained out for the first time in almost thirty years.

How was that possible? Easily. The Metrodome. In my opinion, it went before it's time. Sure, it still stands, but the Twins don't play there anymore. It's a shame, really. That place holds so many fond baseball memories...

It's where I saw my first MLB game. Wednesday, August 12th, 1992. Minnesota's just two games back of the Oakland Athletics (their primary rival of the late '80s and early '90s, but that's another story for another day). Minnesota was hosting the Texas Rangers. Closer Rick Aguilera gave up a three-run homer to Juan Gonzalez in the top of the ninth to blow the save and lose the game 5-3. The thing I remember most was the guy in the row behind me, pretending to read a story out of the back-to-school binders handed out to schoolchildren for that evening's promotion, about how Aguilera was the goat after that home run. I still have my binder from that night, and it's currently holding my Twins baseball cards.

I think I ended up seeing at least 8 Twins game at the Dome before they moved out at the end of 2009. I still have all my ticket stubs (except that first one) for those games. Every time I have visited the Twin Cities in my adult life, I've tried to talk my friends into catching a game there. I felt that every time I was in town and we didn't see a game was a wasted trip. My friends Paul and Nikki didn't want to go when I was in the Cities in '04 (Joe Mauer's rookie year) to try out for Jeopardy! No one wanted to see them play the Yankees the day after those two got married in '05. So disappointing...

But my love for that place goes beyond my personal visits. It's about the greatest Twins player of my generation, Kirby Puckett. Game 6 in the '91 World Series? The man single-handedly wins the game staving off elimination and setting up the final chapter of the most historic World Series ever. I hated to see him go too, first into retirement with glaucoma in '96, then into the next life with a stroke in '06.

I could go on. The Baggy in right field. The Plexiglass in left. The turf. Pale Hoser manager Ozzie Guillen bitchin' about the turf and the Piranhas using it to their advantage. "Little Big League" and "Major League: Back to the Minors". The heir to the throne in center field, Torii Hunter, making amazing plays on a near-nightly basis, earning seven straight gold gloves in a Minnesota uniform. The roof messing with opposing outfields. Game 163.

I cannot wait to see a game at Target Field this summer, even if it does get rained out. Baseball is meant to be played outside. I've watched almost every game on TV so far this year, and it looks great. Nothing short of amazing. The house that Mauer will build will serve this team very well for the years and decades to come.

But I'll never forget my first love. The Metrodome holds a very special place in my heart. It will always be my Dome Sweet Dome...

I'm no hero...

2010-04-29T20:07:00.006-05:00

Several weeks ago, I made the observation that working in desktop support is like playing Whack-a-Mole. You spend all day knocking out problems, but they keep popping up, usually at a pace quicker than you can hit them with your mallet.

Well, yesterday, my buddy Chris popped up out of his hole a little before 11:30, sending me two e-mails in three minutes about an issue he was having with one of his applications. Shortly after the program opened up and appeared on his screen, it would max out his processor and become unresponsive. He needed it fixed right away, as it was an urgent issue (aren't they all...).

I went over to his desk, hoping I could resolve it right away. Not because he's my friend; I just wanted to go to lunch. As we're sitting there, uninstalling and reinstalling it, he makes the causal remark that I'm his hero (he may have even called me a "superhero") for dropping everything I was working on and coming over to help him right away.

This comment has greatly disturbed me since then, because it's so true. It makes me want to retreat to my fortress of solitude and never come out again. My users, my customers, my co-workers just see me as this guy in a cape that will come to their rescue when things look bleak. I fly in and resolve the issue, and although they are usually very thankful of it, they'll think nothing more of it and proceed with their lives.

This is why I have to get out of desktop support. I'd much rather have a job where I can work behind the scenes and go unnoticed. Where I can walk by someone's desk or pass them in the halls, and they ask me about last night's ball game, not the error message they get when launching PowerPoint. Where I can focus on one or two tasks all day, instead of twenty. And without interruptions or having to save somebody's life.

I don't want to be Superman anymore. I just want to be Clark Kent.

It's a... A... What the heck do you call it?

2010-04-21T18:52:00.004-05:00

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn?

Seriously, what is it? A horned pegasus? A flying unicorn? Pegacorn? Unisus? Unipegacornsus?

We really should come up with a name for that...

What I'm looking for in a girl...

2010-04-18T12:21:00.002-05:00

I know I said I'm not looking for a girl in 2010, but at the recommendation of a friend, the amazing Amybeth "Research Goddess" Hale, I've made a list of what I'd be looking for in a girl.

Please note, this is a work-in-progress. I will be adding to this list as I come up with more.

Items listed in bold are non-negotiable. Order of items does not imply any type of priority over any other.

** NON-SMOKER!!
** No elective plastic surgery (breast implants, liposuction, nose jobs, tummy tucks, etc.). Vehemently opposed to putting herself under the knife for such shallow physical changes to her body.
** Someone who doesn't need me, but wants me. Totally independent and can take care of herself, but wants me by her side supporting her.
** Fiscally conservative, yet socially liberal (both in a practical and a political sense). Open to all types of people, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, creed, race, nationality.
** Sports fan. Knows a fair amount about the major sports, and always wanting to learn more. Team doesn't matter, as long as it's not Dallas Cowboys or New York Yankees. Would love a Twins and Gophers fan. Loyal to her teams and doesn't constantly jump on and off bandwagons.
** Takes care of her body. Physically active, prefers outdoor activities to indoor ones on most days. Also prefers games/sports as an exercise activity over conditioning (running/jogging/biking/hiking/rollerblading would be fine).
** Open to a wide range of activities for a date night. Doesn't always want dinner and a movie, would accept things like bowling or going for a drive.
** Intelligent. Not necessarily book smart, but also common sense smart. Wise. Always wanting to learn new things, and not against getting her hands dirty to do so. Some college education (but does not need a degree).
** Into music (rock preferred). Open to different types of music, and willing to share her tastes with me and to try out some of my favorites. Likes to get into heated discussions over which albums by specific bands are better than others (for example: Continuum is John Mayer's worst album, but has some of his best songs ("Gravity" and "Bold as Love")).
** Grateful. Both happy for what she has and thankful for what I can do for her.
** Religion: Protestant preferred, but accepting of all other faiths/practices. Willing to have a reasonable discussion on the pros/cons of some choices. Not fanatical or blindly obedient either; does not let her devotion cloud her personal judgement. Believes in things by her own will and can make her own decisions. Not going to convert me; shows patience with me coming to my own decision on my own timetable (encouragement is OK).
** Tech-capable. Not totally clueless when it comes to determining a hardware/software issue. Able to convey an issue in a manner that's easily to understand. Doesn't hit the panic button each time something doesn't work the way she thinks it should. Easy to train, so she won't have to be dependent on me for help.
** Wants to have kids. 2-3, with at least one boy and one girl. Understands that I need to have my son and I get to name him without any objection. If she already has kids, these rules go into effect.
** Animal lover. Prefers dogs over cats, but willing to have both as pets. Understands that animals are just animals and shouldn't have to be treated like people (No PETA fanatics).
** Cares for the environment, but realizes we have a personal responsibility to do (doesn't/won't rely on the government to do so).
** Great sense of humor. Can detect my sarcasm. Understands some of my usually vague references. Asks for clarification if something doesn't make sense. Doesn't always have to laugh, but reacts to most things in a way that she gets it.
** Accepting of who I am. Won't try to change me, allows me to be myself, lets me do my own thing.
** Casual/social video game player. Enjoys the classics (NES/SNES). Likes Wii games and rhythm music games (Guitar Hero/Rock Band).
** Willing to try new things/go new places. Sometimes do crazy things (like skydiving). Likes to adventure (defined as going places we maybe shouldn't be going).
** Physical appearance - Height of 5'2" to 5'10" preferred, but willing to go two inches in either direction. Prefer a few extra pounds as opposed to a too thin girl. Minimal tattoos and piercings (ears and belly button OK, anything beyond that is a likely "no").
** Not crazy. Does let her emotions show, but doesn't constantly fly off the handle. Can look at situations rationally. Not a problem if she's taking medication for a condition as long as she's responsible about it.
** Enjoys the activity of cooking and doesn't see it as a chore.

Forget the Wedding

2010-04-11T15:38:00.005-05:00

If you're thinking about getting married, I highly recommend eloping, instead of a wedding. Eloping is FAR superior, and here's why...

Weddings may be romantic for the attendees, but how about for the bride and groom? It's a formal ceremony to confirm to the world what they already know: these two people love each other. Does/did your own wedding put you in the mood? Maybe later that night, and the next morning, but... Do you really need that to validate your love? A wedding is too structured and planned out. You work yourself into a frenzy doing everything possible to make sure it goes off perfectly. And it doesn't. Sure, you'll try to tell me your wedding went off without a hitch, but if you think about it, you can find a couple things that did not go as expected. And you know it.

Conversely, there's something magical about eloping. The spontaneity, the running away together, the tabooedness of it. The two of you against the world, throwing caution to the wind and ignoring what everyone else thinks (which is how you should treat the situation to begin with; if you two love each other, it doesn't fuckin' matter what anyone else says or thinks). It's more like real love, and the more romantic experiences, in your life. You can't plan it out, it just happens. It's also more like the proposal. It comes out of nowhere (true, a guy will plan a big showy display when he does go to propose, but he'll do it in a way that it comes out of left field for his girl). And she when is surprised with that ring, she'll be overcome with delight.

I understand the argument that the wedding is the girl's day. The one day where she's the center of attention, the queen, the star. But shouldn't every day be hers? Before she's the bride, and after she becomes the wife, the guy should shower her with love and affection every moment of every day for the rest of their lives.

The two of you may look back on the fond memories of that special day, but if given the choice between a perfect wedding and a perfect marriage, which one are you going to choose? I'd hate for anyone to look back at their life in 20 years and say, "You know, it didn't really work out for us, but man, what a wedding!!" It'd be better to look back and say "That was a disaster, but we got through it, just like every other obstacle on our journey together."

Arguments for Wind Energy

2010-04-06T20:59:00.005-05:00

Driving back to Fargo from my parents' place in Minot this afternoon, I passed two wind farms (one about 10 miles south of Minot, another 20 miles north of Bismarck). I took this picture of one of the wind turbines, and mentioned that we should build more in America. Here are my arguments for more wind power:

It'd create manufacturing jobs that are needed in this type of economy. It would also create engineering jobs as we develop more efficient turbines, transportation jobs to move the components to the construction sites, and construction jobs to erect the towers once they are on-site.
It's clean. There are no greenhouse gases produced by harnessing the power of the wind (though, I admit it may indirectly create greenhouses gases in the manufacture, transportation, and assembly of the turbines).
Becoming more energy-independent, we can decrease our reliance on foreign oil, which in turn would help our national security (since we'd be giving less money to the countries that have the oil, but generally hate us).

We can't rule out any type of energy source. We need to use any and all sources at our disposal for our ever-increasing energy needs.

When I'm Gone

2010-03-30T21:02:00.002-05:00

One day, you're going to hear a horrific story about my untimely demise. It will shock you, it will sadden you, it will bum you out.

Then you'll be standing around at my funeral. Perhaps in front of my casket at the venue. Or maybe outside after the service. Or in the graveyard after my body has been lowered into the ground. You'll be amongst my friends, and someone will say, "I'm not surprised by this. I knew Paul would do something crazy like that that would get himself killed." And you'll nod in agreement, maybe with an auditory gesture of disappointment.

Just wish I could be there to see it. And nod in agreement with you.

Ed. Note: There is nothing wrong with me. Thank you for your concern.

Fritz's Golf Tips

2010-03-28T14:34:00.007-05:00

It's spring, so that can only mean one thing. Golf courses around the Midwest are starting to open up. I'd like to take this opportunity to provide some tips on improving your game, from the lessons I've learned over the past three years.

Slicing the ball? Close your club face (rotate it towards your front foot) and open your stance (move your front foot back).
Topping the ball? If you're hitting the top of the ball on your drives, raise the height at which you tee off. I suggest using longer tees. If you're topping the ball on the fairways, from the rough, or in the bunker, choke up on the club and/or stand closer to the ball.
Focus on a smooth, fluid swing. Don't try to kill the ball.
If you wanna go Happy Gilmore-style, make sure you make good contact with the ball. Again, don't try to hit the bejeezus out of it, just keep your eye on the ball.
And keep your eye on the ball. If you swung and whiffed or otherwise hit the ball wrong, you probably took your eye off the ball.
The sign of a good drive? A broken tee. (Thanks for that tip, Dad).

Most of all, do not forget the words of the philosopher Kennedy: "The moment you stop learning to play golf is the moment you stop playing golf."

How to "buy" a pony

2010-03-26T23:43:00.002-05:00

I don't know if you'll find this of interest to you now. I'm working off the assumption that you're my friend, and if you have a child, that child isn't any older then four or five. But I don't think that invalidates my point.

So, you're son or daughter is asking, BEGGING to get a pony. Here's how you go about doing that...

1. Ask your friends if they know someone who owns horses. If not, you may need to scour the internet for horse farms. I highly recommend using other social networking tools to find such operations.
2. Once you locate someone who owns horses, ask if you can "pretend" to buy a horse for your son or daughter. Tell them that you'd like to exchange money for the ability to bring your child out to the farm and let him or her ride, feed, and care for the horse.
3. When the transaction is completed, get your kid in the car, drive out to the stables, and "give" them the horse. They'll be thrilled!!
4. After that first encounter, install the fact in the child that they see the horse any time they want, but they have to ask to go see it. If a visit won't work for either you or the owner's schedule, come up with a clever lie as to why you can't see the horse.

Look, I know it's not nice to lie to your kids. And this one is gonna be a whopper!! However, as a parent, I would think it's your responsibility to bring happy memories into their lives. A couple of happy visits to "their" horse, and they'll love the heck out of you.

I never said this was a GOOD idea...

The future of the organ business?

2010-03-20T15:40:00.006-05:00

Repo Men came out in theaters yesterday. It looks pretty terrible (and the reviews seems to agree with that sentiment). It's too bad, because I think it brings up a great slate of moral/ethical debates that I want to discuss.

And since I'm not going to see this movie, and I don't know anyone who is/was, I'll just throw them out there here on my blog.

To those of you unfamiliar with the plot, Repo Men is about the future, where people who cannot pay for their artificial organs get them repossessed. Jude Law and Forest Whitaker are two of these repo men who are responsible for hunting down the delinquent payers.

This leads to the first interesting debate. Is it right to let someone DIE for not being able to make payments on these life saving devices? I know this isn't much different than our current health care situation (and I don't want this to turn into a health care debate; that's a topic for another day). However, there is a key difference between this movie and reality. In reality, someone would eventually die for not getting the medical care they need. In the movie, the owner of the artificial organ would IMMEDIATELY die. In other words, you don't make the payments, the penalty is instant death. Is that right? Tough call. On one hand, whomever sold the artificial organ is entitled to payment and should be allowed to take action to recoup those lost payments. On the other hand, it sounds like the practice of a mobster. Killing people who don't pay you. I don't think two wrongs make a right in this situtation.

Let's extend this argument a little further. Instead of artificial organs, let's say a company was able to use stem cells to grow replacement organs for customers (and let's not get into a stem cell debate either). Do things change if they're repossessing organic organs, rather than artificial?

Regardless of how the repossessed organs were "manufactured" (grown in a human body, grown in a lab, or produced in a factory), if you needed a new vital organ, would you be comfortable with a used organ? Granted, with the current process of organ transplantation, people are currently getting "used" organs. But how many additional owners would scare you off from obtaining it? Would you accept a heart or a lung if it'd been already been in two, three, or even more human bodies? Where do you draw the line? Or, do you look at the counter-point: "Hey, it's already kept two people alive and hasn't failed yet. It's a quality product, so I've got nothing to worry about!!"

I'm maybe only scratching the surface of these ethical dilemmas. But I'd love to hear what you think. Please, keep the discussion on the topic of organ transplantation and repossession.

Tom Petty was right

2010-03-07T21:40:00.005-06:00

The waiting IS the hardest part.

So many things to look forward to this year. The snow to melt. Golf courses to open up. Trips to the Twin Cities, Lawrence, KS, Dakota Magic. The Nickelback concert at the Fargodome.

Thanks to this online course I'm taking from SetFocus, I'm not going to have the time or money to take a big trip or buy big, fun stuff. My friends in Fargo are dwindling (not really, but they aren't as available to hang out as I'd like them to be (not that I'm blaming you, either)).

So, I'm essentially stuck waiting for these big planned events to come around. At an average of about one a month.

There's only one thing I can do about it. Take it on faith, and take it to the heart.

It's going to be a very LONG year...

2010-03-06T17:14:00.004-06:00

Why does almost every hero on TV, in the movies, and in print, have to be dark and troubled? I mean, "Yay!!" for overcoming your adversities, but isn't it getting a little ridiculous at this point?

Most heroes in the real world are just normal people who make the tough decisions to risk their own lives in dangerous situations to help their fellow man. They don't have interesting backstories; they're just like you and me. Unfortunately, that doesn't make for good ratings. There always needs to be that angle. If it's not there, the media has to make one. It's sad.

Doomed from the beginning...

2010-02-28T11:18:00.001-06:00

So, a couple of weeks ago, MTV re-branded itself to remove "Music Television" from its network. It was just a technicality, that channel hasn't had anything to do with music for years (and possibly even decades).

Not that I really care. I don't need MTV to tell me what's cool (although they are kind enough to let me know what isn't cool, which is pretty much everything they air). A rotten pile of shit by any other name would still smell revolting.

I want to submit a resume to them to take over as network president, but I couldn't find an e-mail address to sent to. Return it to its former glory. Make the focus on MUSIC again.

I'm sure everyone will agree that MTV has going downhill since the mid-90's. But their problems go back way further than that...

In an effort to broaden my musical horizons and expand my collection of songs (because MTV sure wasn't going to do so), I ran out to my storage location to find any and all Blender magazines I owned. I knew I had a couple with articles like "500 Greatest Songs Since You Were Born".

While working on backing up my computers, I started reading it. The #1 song on that list is "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. Duh. But here's the shocker:

MTV rarely aired videos by black performers, and when they refused to show “Billie Jean,” CBS Records president Walter Yetnikoff went ballistic. “I said to MTV, ‘I’m pulling everything we have off the air, all our product. I’m not going to give you any more videos. And I’m going to go public and fucking tell them about the fact you don’t want to play music by a black guy.’” - Page 78, October 2005 issue.

There it is. Back in 1983, MTV was run by idiots. Maybe they were more concerned with the bottom line being negatively affected by airing a video by a black man than they were with good music. Maybe they were just racists.

MTV was doomed to fail from the beginning. They should just take it off the air at this point, because it's only going to get worse.

Damned if you do...

2010-02-16T21:07:00.002-06:00

So, lemme get this straight...

Either global warming doesn't exist, and it will remain cold and miserable in the Upper Midwest during the winter months...

...Or, it does exist, and the increased temperatures means there's more moisture in the air, so then there'd be more snow in the Upper Midwest.

Mother Nature can be such a bitch...

Take your time

2010-02-13T10:30:00.004-06:00

There are two ways to choose when become a fan of something.

First, you can become of something right away, getting in on the ground floor. And sometimes, it's really great, because you can "grow" with the target of your fandom, change in-sync with them, and the influence it/they have over you will last your entire life.

It doesn't always work out that nicely and neatly. You're human, so change can potentially frighten you. And when your idol changes for the worse, you're disappointed. You don't like that change, you complain "it's not like it was before". Eventually, you're not a fan anymore, because they don't stand for what they originally did.

Worse yet, if you remain a fan, accepting the change of your heroes, you could become overpossessive. I knew a guy in college who was (and probably still is, to my knowledge) a big Barenaked Ladies fan. Even before they broke through in America with "One Week". And he was ultra-critical of those more recent fans who only liked BNL because of "One Week". He was kind of a hateful douchebag about it. So angry. You'd think a true fan would be glad when their heroes make it to the top and get more fans. You know, to validate the time and money they've invested in following their pursuits and have someone to share it with.

Or secondly, you can wait before you hop on the bandwagon. Wait until someone has been out there for a while before you decide if you want to be a fan or not.

I recommend this approach. It's way less stressful. When you look back at something that's been out there for a while, you can be more objective about the things that entity has done. Sure, you can say "Oh, they changed". But that change happened YEARS ago. It's done, it's over. Looking at something in retrospect, you don't have that emotional attachment, so you can judge things with a clearer mindset.

For example, my two favorite bands are Weezer and The Donnas. In both cases, I didn't become a fan of them until they'd already been around for nearly 10 years (or more). Sure, I did have one of their albums each for a few years before I became their fans, but I was only a fan of the album (or even just a few of the songs). Then one day, something just clicked, I started digging through their catalogues, and fell in love.

If you want to understand how I got to this point, you can read my "Levels of Music" post, but to quasi-summarize: Weezer released the Blue Album in '94; I got it as a freshman in college. They released their Video Capture Device DVD containing all their videos and some behind-the-scenes stuff in '04, and I absolutely loved it. I then proceeded buy their other three albums (at the time) and their three albums since then shortly after their release dates. The Donnas released "Spend the Night" (their major- label debut, but fifth album overall) in October '02, I bought it in October '05. I got Rock Band 2 last summer, featuring their song "New Kid in School". The last weekend of August, after a brutal week at work and still waiting for my replacement drum pads to come back from EA, I surfed the Internet and became entranced by those beautiful sirens. Since then, I bought 6 of their albums, watched countless videos of them online, and read anything I could find about them.

In both instances, I can look back at all their albums and see the evolutions in their respective styles and sounds. Each album from both bands represents not only a different sound, but a different maturity level and emotional state. I could get into a big long thing about what I think each album stands for, but that'd take too long. What I can say is, "I can appreciate each one in their own special way. Just because X doesn't sound like Y, and neither sounds like Z, doesn't mean I can't like them all."

So, if you're considering becoming a fan of something, take your time. This isn't a limited time offer. You don't have to act now. Wait. Days, weeks, months, years; doesn't matter. The targets of your affection will be there for you, if and when you become a fan.

I don't see what the big deal is

2010-02-08T17:30:00.002-06:00

Over the past couple of days, my friends on Facebook have been complaining about the changes to their layout.

As a guy wanting to find a girl, I should expect this kind of unwelcome change, accept it, and love it.

Right? I've been given the impression that this is the way the world works...

Top 10 Drummers

2010-02-05T18:28:00.010-06:00

Disclaimer: This not a list of the best drummers of all-time, or the best drummers around right now, or anything like that. I am not qualified enough to judge the abilities of every drummer in the history of the world against each other and determine the best. Nor is this a list of the drummers from my favorite bands (though there is a noticeable overlap; 4 of these people are a member of one of my three favorite bands). This is a list of the people I'd pay just to watch them play drums, up close and personal (within 10 feet, and over their shoulders), without the rest of their respective bands. They are presented in no particular order.

Torry Castellano, The Donnas - My dream girl for the last five months. Get well soon, sweetie, I wanna see you play in MSP this year!!
Patrick Wilson, Weezer
Tré Cool, Green Day
Brad Arnold, 3 Doors Down
Longineu Parsons, Yellowcard - That guy is fast, holy lord!! Just listen to some Yellowcard and you'll be blown away.
Rivers Cuomo, Weezer - I know he's not the drummer for Weezer, but he's just as talented. He can play as well as anyone on this list.
Brad Wilk, Rage Against the Machine/Audioslave
Greg Eklund, Everclear - I will always see Everclear as the '94-'03 Art Alexakis-Craig Montoya-Greg Eklund trio
Dave Grohl, Nirvana/Foo Fighters - The BEST drummer on this list, by a good margin (IMO)
Chad Smith, Red Hot Chili Peppers

I'm changing my priorities...

2010-01-29T20:24:00.004-06:00

I'm giving up on women. FOR NOW.

Even since I was a teenager, and maybe even a couple years before that, my number one concern in life was finding a girl. I'd think about how I'd try to become financially secure (and then some), or what I'd do for a living, or how to spend my free time, but eventually it'd all come back to same thing. Finding someone to love, someone to love ME. If I did that, it wouldn't matter how everything else would turn out. I'd be happy, I'd have accomplished everything I wanted to do with my life. As long as we got each other, we got the world spinnin' right in our hands.

As you may know, that hasn't worked out too well. It's been 15+ years and I'm still alone. It sucks. Trust me, you don't know how good you've got it. Even if you think you do, you don't. I'd give anything to just have a few moments like that.

Now, a large part of this is probably my fault (Who am I kidding? It is ALL my fault.). I've fallen for girls that didn't like me that way. For girls who didn't like me, period. Girls who are way too out of reach. Celebrities. And when I do find one and things start going well, like maybe "this is the one", I kill it before it even has a chance. You know that analogy of holding a dove too tight and it dies? Yeah...

Making things worse (at least, in my own mind), all my friends from college have gotten married. Some to people they knew since elementary school. Some to their high school sweethearts. Some to people they met in college. And they all got married pretty young. In most cases, at or before 25. They keep telling me that those situations are the exceptions to the rule, and if I'm patient, I'll find my one. But when you look around and see exceptions everywhere, it's hard to understand what the rules truly are.

No one's pushing me to settle down and find someone, but I still feel this incredible amount of pressure to do so. Maybe I just watch too much TV and expect my life to be scripted in a similar manner. Maybe I just spend too much time inside my own head. Maybe I'm not meant to be with anyone.

Well, for 2010, I'm not gonna let this bother me. Because I'm not even gonna try. I practically couldn't care less about it. I could, but I highly doubt it.

I have something more to worry about this year: leaving Fargo and moving to the Twin Cities. Sure that doesn't sound like much, but everything I'm focusing on will help me achieve that goal before the end of the year. Trying to endure one more year at my current place of employment. Taking a .NET course online. Searching for a job. I don't know if I'll find what I'm looking for down there, but I know my chances of finding it here are effectively zero.

Sure, accomplishing all this will help me find someone eventually. But I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing it for me. I need to take care of myself, doing the things that make me happy (or maybe just less miserable). Who wants to be around a pissed-off, angry white male all the time? Besides, even if I found someone tomorrow, no matter how well it'd go over the next 12 months, it's not gonna change my plans. I'm moving to the Cities. And if you don't want to, it's over. It wouldn't be fair to that other person to present them with that kind of ultimatum, so why bother?

I don't know if things will actually change once I get down there. I'd like to think so. Many, many more fish out in that sea. I'm sure I can find one that shares many of my interests (Twins, Gophers, video games, golf, modern rock music, etc.) that I do. I can't imagine being in any major metropolitan area and still not being able to find someone. That's just wrong.

Ladies, if you're out there, sorry. I'm off the market. Come back in a year, then we'll talk. Until then, do what I'm doing. Take care of yourself, so you can be in a better position to find your someone.

My new career path

2010-01-18T18:04:00.003-06:00

I just had a thought...

I should submit a resume to MTV to become the president of the network. Or maybe the director of programming. Or whatever position would give me the power to decide what goes on the air and what doesn't.

I don't see how I'm any less qualified than the bozo monkeys that are currently running the show...

That's only half the answer...

2010-01-14T18:52:00.002-06:00

I figured out why people in Fargo drive with their heads up their asses in the winter. It's for the warmth. But what do they do the other seven and a half months? Why do they drive like that from April 1st to November 15th?

Step 2: ???

2010-01-09T15:41:00.029-06:00

I love The Donnas. Probably in an incredibly unhealthy way. All because I became obsessed with them after going nuts that I couldn't do anything satisfy my hunger for playing Rock Band.

I love The Donnas, but this is only a recent revelation. Even as recently as mid-September, I only owned one Donnas album, their major-label debut "Spend the Night". I'm sure I only bought that album for the two biggest hits, "Take It Off" and "Who Invited You". I also purchased "The Cream of Clapton", Tom Petty's "Wildflower", The Killers' "Hot Fuss", and greatest hit collections from The Who and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones in that same order from Amazon.com. This was a seven-album, eight-disc boost to my music collection. I'm getting off-topic...

I love The Donnas. And not just because I'm attracted to them. That may have started this thing, but it didn't end there. I love their music. I started working my way forward through their catalog, not particularly caring for some of the older stuff (initially, I didn't like younger Brett's higher-pitched voiced and the faster pace at which they played, but I've come to embrace it as much as their current musical style), but as I filled out the front end, I had to start going through the back end to alleviate my need for a fix (and I fell in love with those albums too). Ask me my favorite Donnas album, and you won't get an answer. It'd be like picking a favorite child. I love each of their six albums in my possession (Get Skintight, Turn 21, Spend the Night, Gold Medal, Bitchin', and Greatest Hits Vol. 16) in their own special ways. They each bring something different to the table. The Donnas have evolved musically in their nearly seventeen years together. Each album is a stop along that road, and they're all great. Getting off-topic again...

I love The Donnas. Along with the music, they're very enjoyable people. I've ended up favoriting just as many interview/backstage videos on YouTube as I have performances/music videos. Allison Robertson (guitar) just talks with so much passion for their jobs. Brett Anderson (lead singer) and Maya Ford (bass) are dynamic as well. And Torry Castellano (drums)... Well, she's just a little pixie. Gun to my head, forcing me to choose one of them to be with? It's Donna C.

After being on this road for the past 4+ months, there is only one way this can end. Once, just ONCE, I want to meet them. It's probably one of the biggest deciding factors in me wanting to move to the Twin Cities. Pre-Donnas, I just needed to get out of Fargo; they gave me a concrete goal to work towards. Eight shows in Minneapolis since '98 (just as many as Vegas, Salt Lake, or London), the most recent of which was Feb. 28, 2008. They'll be back, I know it.

The Donnas have opened my world. Kinda. For example, guitarist Allison Robertson appeared in some print ads for the Zoom Q3 device. On YouTube, there is this video of the photo shoot she did with Anthrax's Scott Ian. The song in the background sounded awesome, so I had to find out what it was and download it (via legal methods). It was Feel Good Drag by Anberlin. It rocks! I like it so much it's made the list of the 1% of my music collection on my PDA smartphone. Brett did an interview with Suicide Girls Radio. She mentions root beer floats with Jack Daniels in it (which I tried but didn't particularly care for, but I think that's because I can't drink any type of soda other than cola-flavored anymore) and Ikea Heights, a web-based soap opera shot entirely in an Ikea store (which I found to be pretty clever). I want to get Drive Me Crazy (where they appear as the Electrocutes, they band they formed before they became The Donnas), Detroit Rock City and Grind on DVD (both of which include a music video that I could rip onto my PC). I could go on, and I know these are pretty stupid examples, but I feel they're great for trying to explain how these girls have touched me since I became a fan of their band.

So, the question that then presented itself was "How could I meet them?". And not the obvious stuff, of course. I get to the Cities by moving down there. They come to town for a show. I get a ticket and go. Then I try to get backstage or wait outside afterwards (this is Step 1: Meet The Donnas). This is where the "How?" comes into play. I needed to come up with an idea that'd get me through whatever barriers I may run into. Not so much physically (bouncers, locks, etc.). I mean, once I do get face-to-face with them, what do I say? What do I do? How can I make a good impression on them? (the as-of-yet undefined Step 2) I want to leave that venue at the end of the night not just with a couple of autographs and a few pictures. I want to be able to call Brett, Maya, Allison, and Torry friends. More importantly, I want them to call ME a friend. Where I could call them to say "Hey" or they call me when they come to town: "Hey Paul, wanna go grab something to eat?" (Step 3: Profit!).

Yes, I totally admit this is dangerously obsessive. And because I'm thinking like this, I should be kept hundreds of miles away from them at all times. But I can't shake this feeling like this is fate. Like maybe I'm supposed to be with Torry (or maybe one of the others, but again, gun to my head...). A part of me says, "There's nothing wrong with that. You're 29, they're 30/31. It's natural to be attracted to someone your own age." And if I get to them, make my play, and get shot down, I'd be totally OK with that. I could move on, because I had to find out and did. I won't have to live with that regret for the rest of my life. I'd still be a fan of their music and them as the people they are.

After weeks of contemplation, I came up with an answer. Twizzlers. They went nuts for them when Charmaine Brooks brought some backstage (for the purposes of this post, it doesn't really matter who Charmaine Brooks is, other than a person who has backstage access to The Donnas; now YOU'RE getting off-topic). Just fast-forward to the 4:10 mark of this video, as Allison is pulling things out of a bag of gifts Charmaine brought the girls. After about 30-40seconds, Torry just starts chanting, in fact, BEGGING for some Twizzlers. They just love them (or at least I perceive they do). If I show up backstage with a bag (or two) of Twizzlers, I'm in. That's how I see it.

But I keep thinking that I need something more. A conversation piece. Something to talk about and try to form a bond over.

As a sports fan, I visit ESPN.com on a daily basis (with multiple visits per day). The best part is when Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy, posts a new article. Even if it's about the NBA, which I don't care for, or even something not related to sports at all (movies and other pop culture-related things). Bill is awesome. I just love his work. I've gotten countless hours of enjoyment out of it.

In 2005, Bill introduced a new type of article to his ESPN.com repertoire, The Curious Guy, where he sends e-mails back and forth with someone. Yeah, that's it, that's the whole article. One of the first ones that Bill did was with "the best-selling author and pop culture guru" Chuck Klosterman. Klosterman, like myself, is a native of North Dakota. And after reading this Curious Guy article, I was impressed with Chuck. His primary realm of expertise was music and its affects on pop culture, but he also knows quite a bit about sports too. After this article, Chuck started writing things for ESPN's Page 2 as well.

One of the best of these articles was "All Too Perfect", written before Super Bowl XLII (for those of you not keeping score at home, that's the one where the New York Giants beat the New England Patriots to end their bid to go a perfect 19-0). The article "explains why losing the Super Bowl would make the Patriots immortal". Funny how things work out; he may have jinxed them with that piece. But as I was reading it in the days leading up to that big game, I found myself agreeing more and more with the point Chuck was trying to make. It was fuckin' brilliant. That's when I became a Chuck Klosterman fan.

A few days after that game, I was reading the Fargo Forum at lunch at a fast food restaurant (I'm pretty sure it was the McDonald's on 19th Avenue N. in Fargo), and saw that Chuck was coming to the F-M area to do a talk at MSU-Moorhead. I had to go and meet this geek-chic pop culture guru. Listen to him talk. Maybe get an autograph. So that evening, before the show, I ran to Barnes and Noble and picked up a couple of his books, "Fargo Rock City" and "Killing Yourself to Live". Yeah, maybe it's a little hypocritical, I didn't (and still don't) care. Went to the talk. He sounded a little more geeky than I was expecting, but I had a good time (particularly when he proceeded to tear apart a girl and her logic when she stated that she's anti-pop culture, but he argued that she's still using pop culture as a defining point to describe what she does or doesn't like). Afterwards, everyone lined up to get his John Hancock, as did I. When my turn came to talk to him, I told him how great that article about the Patriots losing the Super Bowl was. He signed my copy of "Fargo Rock City" and I left. I ended up reading the first couple chapters before I lost interest with it (the last book I read was the final Harry Potter book in July '07; it felt like such a chore, but I had to do it since I read the previous 6).

Fast-forward back to the present. I use Twitter, but I'm only following about 20 people. A few friends, my Gophers and Jayhawks, a few random people who started following me, and my favorite columnist, Bill Simmons. Bill recently mentioned in one of his Twitter posts (I refuse to use the term "tweet") that Chuck has started using Twitter. I start following Chuck, then it comes to me after following him for a couple days...

This is how I can get a conversation started with Torry, I can just give her a copy of "Fargo Rock City"! It's about the same kind of music that The Donnas grew up on. Kiss, AC/DC, Guns N' Roses, Mötley Crüe. It'll be perfect! I'm set!

I'm basing this hypothesis on two things. One, a blog post from a round of "Ask The Donnas" (concept explained my blog post here), where Torry talks about re-reading Crime and Punishment (and implying that she's read it at least once before). Two, this appearance on mun2 where she mentions that she's reading Slash's autobiography (fast-forward to the 8:00 mark). Based on these two examples of books she's read, she is an avid reader, and she'll likely read "Fargo Rock City" if I give her a copy. This may be some of the most fucked up logic that you've even seen, but it makes sense to ME.

Of course, how I can a recommend any book to any person if I haven't already read it myself? I grabbed my copy of "Fargo Rock City" off my bookshelf and started reading it. I took it to work so I could read it on my breaks and during my lunch hour. I also read it at home a bit, at night, if nothing good was on TV. It was good. Although Chuck and I have little in common; he's eight years older than me. Musically, he's a product of the late '70s and the '80s, and I'm a product of the '90s. But I get it. Or at least I think I do. He breaks down metal in so many ways, how it affected and influenced him and the rest of America. I loved it. I think I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed a book this much in my life. I was laughing out loud. I was nodding my head in agreement. I was making that noise my buddy Travis makes when he comes across an amusing revelation (that I can only best describe as a high-pitched "Hunh!"). It's great, I'm glad I finally took the time to read Chuck's book (and I will proceed to purchase and read his remaining five books).

It's 8:30 last night. There's nothing good on TV, except the Gophers hockey game, but I've never been one who could sit still enough to watch sports on TV (blame it on my ADHD). I turn the volume down, start playing music on my laptop, pick up "Fargo Rock City", and start reading. I had about 70 pages left (roughly the last quarter of the book), and I was planning to read until 10, when South Park would come on.

I'm making my way through the final chapters, when Chuck starts to discuss the current bands (current as of 1998, when the book was written and published) that best carry the torch of those 80's hair metal bands. He first talks about groups like Korn and Rage Against the Machine, but they don't quite fit the bill to his satisfaction. Chuck starts to dig further into it. And who does he mention at the bottom on page 246?

You're damn right. The Donnas. An entire paragraph to devoted all aspects of their music. Comparisons to the same bands that Chuck himself (and The Donnas) grew up on. Kiss, Skid Row, Mötley Crüe. He calls their second album, American Teenage Rock 'n' Roll Machine, "the only legitimately great record released in 1998".

"Holy Fuck!" That was my initial reaction, then I was literally speechless after I read that paragraph. For two or three minutes, I wasn't sure how to react. I stopped reading immediately to try to process this. The same book that I was going to recommend to a member of a band actually MENTIONED that band. Needless to say, this was totally unexpected. I tried to post something profound about this revelation on Twitter, but due to my speechlessness and the 140 character limit, I could only get this out. Even weirder, I had decided only a day or two before this that I was going to purchase ATRM in the near future, partly because I want to complete my Donnas collection of albums (I had only obtained Get Skintight and Turn 21 a couple weeks ago), partly because The Donnas posted a new video on YouTube, the live performance of "Speed Demon" from their Desert Moon 2 concert in Sept. '08 (this song is on ATRM).

I only had 20-25 pages to go, so I decide to finish the rest of the book. I left my couch, where I had been sitting (the Gopher game was over and everything else on TV was just going to be a distraction I didn't need), go into my office, and finish "Fargo Rock City". Then I could, and would be ready to, start writing on my blog about my reaction to this.

Officially, if the topic comes up for discussion, I don't believe in signs or fate or destiny or any of that crap. Sure, there maybe some kind of supernatural force at play that I may never fully understand, but people are on the paths they travel because of the decisions they make. That's why I'm at where I am now. I control my own destiny. But I don't think I've ever actually said that to anyone...

But that one paragraph in Chuck's book... Maybe THIS is a sign... Even further enforcing that belief: yesterday (January 8th) was both Maya's and Torry's birthday.

I know what you're going to say. "Paul, you don't believe in signs!!" Well,... maybe this is a sign that I should believe in signs.

At work this week, most conversations I'd have with my co-workers would focus on "Are you going to the holiday party this weekend?" I don't really want to go. I hate that they moved it to after the holidays instead of before. That first week back from work each of the last four years has been so stressful from the "urgent" needs of people to address their computer issues, that I really want nothing to do with any of them. At all. So I'd answer "Yeah, probably, but I got this nagging feeling like there's something important I need to do this weekend..." It's mostly bullshit, but a very small part of me did feel that way. And I'd admit to that person that I need to laundry (which is true), but that wasn't it (especially since I've got all day Sunday to take care of it).

Looking back on this whole thing... Maybe this was that important thing I needed to do. Maybe it's yet another sign... Then again, maybe this is just me trying to find a pattern, a connection, something, to interrelate a number of highly coincidental events.

And this doesn't even begin to address a potential flaw in Step 2 to make a play for Torry. It's totally possible that she may have already read this book. It's more than ten years old at this point, it's about the same kind of music she grew up on, it mentions her band (though not her specifically, like it does Brett and Allison). I can't speak for her, but I'm such a narcissist that I would read every single book out there that mentioned me or my band. But doesn't this still give me a way in? I mean, if she's already read the book, then I don't have to wait for her to read it and call me to discuss it. I present her with the text, she recognizes it, and we start talking about it. Like Chuck states in the foreward to "Fargo Rock City", "You walk up to any desirable person..., and you say (with a certain sense of endearing bewilderment), 'Isn't it insane how many books there are about ___?' Fill in the blank with whatever subject..." (Yes, I took some liberties with the ellipses, but that doesn't totally invalidate the approach in this situation.)

Last week, The Donnas posted on their Facebook page, "BRAND NEW YEAR, BRAND NEW ALBUM! HELLO 2010!!!" (their caps, not mine). Torry has been sitting on the shelf since at least May '09, due to shoulder problems. I infer from this Twitter post that at some point this year, she'll be well enough to go back into the studio with the rest of The Donnas and record, then they'll go out on tour. They didn't visit the Twin Cities during their tour this past summer, so I'd say they're due.

When they do, I'll be there with Twizzlers and "Fargo Rock City". I'll find a way to get to them, and we'll play ball. Regardless of how it will end, I'll be happy. I just gotta get past Step 2 and find out, you know?...

Cinematic Calamities

2010-01-06T19:31:00.003-06:00

Dear Hollywood,

Please stop turning classic anthropomorphic cartoon figures into live-action/CGI travesties on the big-screen. Scooby Doo? Alvin and the Chipmunks? Really, do we have to? Who's next? Yogi Bear? Please don't. Just leave them alone. Please.

Thank you,
Paul

I'd buy that

2009-12-19T15:00:00.005-06:00

CSI has been around for ten years now, a top 10 ratings juggernaut for CBS (coming in at #10, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 5, 4, and 7 each season), spawning 2 spin-offs in Miami and New York, and the basis of 8 video games across the three shows.

However, I prefer NCIS. The characters are more personable, the show has more humor, Gibbs is sexy; I could go on. I also think Spike TV killed CSI by airing 30 episodes every night for the last 7 years. And no episode will ever be as great as the Quentin Tarantino-directed fifth season finale Grave Danger... I'm getting off-topic again.

Like I was saying, I like NCIS. It's slowly been building up a fan base over the last 7 years, climbing up the ratings (#26, 22, 16, 18, 10, 5, and now #1 through the current '09-'10 season). It has one spin-off, NCIS: Los Angeles (also excellent for many of the same reasons). But no video games yet. Kinda disappointing.

You could totally do it. Borrow elements from the CSI games, throw in some Star Trek-like team assembly (Gibbs needs to go interview a witness or suspect; do you grab the charasmatic DiNozzo, the tech-savvy McGee, or the cold-blooded warrior David?). Maybe add some Grand Theft Auto sandbox action (you could follow a storyline, or just going around solving random crimes). Get the folks in L.A. involved as well.

That'd work so well. Someone call EA or RockStar or Ubisoft and have them pickup my cash cow pinata so they can take a few whacks at it.

No... More... Pie...

2009-12-18T22:26:00.005-06:00

How many more American Pie movies are they going to make?

The first one was good. It gave us Shannon Elizabeth, but what has it done for us since then? How much more can they milk from that cow?

Seven movies over ten years... Might be time to put down the pie. I hear cake is good...

I've learned something today...

2009-12-12T18:05:00.003-06:00

I truly believe that I do learn something everyday.

I should be making a list of those things, for posterity's sake. Maybe start another blog with those things.

Today's learnedness: That's not a guy standing in the background in the individual shot of The Donnas bassist Maya Ford in the CD insert for their "Spend the Night" album. That's a Freddy Krueger cardboard cutout!! Don't believe me? Check out and compare that picture with the back cover insert.

FIX IT!! DO IT!!

2009-12-08T20:13:00.004-06:00

BCS: Bullshit "Championship" System. Broken Clusterfuck System. Bowl Catastrophe System. Get the picture?

Nearly everyone I know and listen to agrees. The system we use to determine who plays for the national championship of college football is crap.

And yes, I've complained about this before. There was USC getting snuffed in 2003 after going undefeated, but the Sugar Bowl picked one-loss Oklahoma to play LSU for the title. Playing as the Golden Gophers in Super Play Action Football on my SNES. Agreeing with ESPN's Rick Reilly that the true national champion for the 2008 season should be the University of Utah, last year's only undefeated team after it was all said and done.

"OK, Paul, let's see YOU come up with a better system..." I thought you'd never ask!!

Obvious solution: a playoff. Every other sport, at every other level in the NCAA, uses a playoff and bracket system to deliver two teams to a true national championship game. Do you know who awards the championships for Division I-A football? The Associated Press and the American Football Coaches Association. A news agency and a couple handfuls of college coaches. You know who should be deciding it? The kids on the field busting their asses to win! There is no official NCAA Division I-A champion, but there are for Divisions I-AA, II, and III.

And just think, what an honor it would be to be able to claim to be the FIRST NCAA Champion? You don't think a Michigan or Texas or USC or Florida wouldn't want that? I know I would. That'd be huge!! The recruits you would bring in, the annuls of history you'd be included in, the press, the exposure, the stardom. Who wouldn't want that?

We can still keep the BCS Standings, but let's use them in the same way college basketball uses RPI to seed the bracket. March Madness generates buzz after Selection Sunday about teams that maybe don't deserve to be in and those who should be but aren't. You'd get about the same amount of discussion after the NCAA football tourney is filled out.

"But what about the traditional bowl system? Some of those games have been around for decades! You're not going to throw away all that history, are you?" Of course not. Teams that get knocked out the playoffs can still go to bowl games.

I've got two ways the playoff can be done:

Solution A: Ten teams. Automatic bids given to the six BCS conferences. Four at-large bids based on BCS rankings. Teams seeded 1-6 get first round byes. 7 vs. 10 and 8 vs. 9, winners play the 2 and 1 seeds, respectively. Four rounds, with a bye week between the semifinals and championship game. As teams are knocked out, they receive invites to their traditional bowls. In this situation, your bowls are Rose, Fiesta, Cotton (the next most prestigious bowl after the current BCS 4, IMO), Sugar, and Orange. The championship game rotates between those five.

For 2009, your ten teams in the playoffs would be the top 10 from the BCS standings, seeded as follows (highest to lowest): Alabama, Texas, Cincinnati, TCU, Florida, Boise State, Oregon, Ohio State, Georgia Tech, and Iowa. First round is Oregon against Iowa and Ohio State versus Georgia Tech. Winners of those games face Texas and Alabama, respectively. The other two quarterfinals have Cincinnati/Boise St. and TCU/Florida.

Side note: if the BCS conferences wanted to cheat and only give the first through sixth seeds to their conference champions, Nos. 3-9 would be Oregon, Ohio St., Georgia Tech, TCU, Florida, Boise State. It'd be dirty, but I might be able to live with that.

Solution B: Sixteen teams. Automatic bids are given to ALL 11 Division I-A conference champions. Five at-large bids and overall seeding are again determined by BCS standings. The national champion game is a separate game from the rest of the bowls, but rotates between multiple locations (as is the current practice).

This year, in addition to the top ten teams in the BCS standings making the playoffs (as described above), the 16-team field would include the next top three, Virginia Tech, LSU, and Penn State, in addition to conference champions East Carolina (Conference USA), Central Michigan (MAC), and Troy (Sun Belt). Those three teams would be ranked 14-16, in some order (none were included in the top 25 in the BCS). Again, traditional bowl invites are handed out as teams are eliminated.

In both scenarios, traditional bowls are played during the bye week between the final two rounds. You also give teams from the non-BCS conferences a shot at the championship, which has been a real issue over the last 5 years with the success of teams like Boise State, Utah, TCU, and Hawai'i.

I'd also like to propose the additional changes to college football in general:

1. The Big Ten either plays a full conference schedule or split into two divisions. Just like every other BCS conference. Currently, Big Ten teams only play eight intra-conference games a year. Either way, this would eliminate the possibility of a shared conference championship between two teams who'd go undefeated.

Yes, I am aware that the Big Ten has 11 teams, and would therefore have unbalanced divisions (6 and 5). However, the Mid-American Conference has 7 and 6 for their divisions, so it wouldn't be unprecedented. I propose a Big Ten East with Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State, Indiana, Purdue, and Penn State and a Big Ten West with Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Illinois, and Northwestern. If you absolutely need a 12th team, try to get Norte Dame and put them out West.

This would also remove another pet peeve of mine caused by Big Ten football. Their football season pretty much ends the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Mostly everyone else is still playing into the first week of December (mostly just conference championship games).

2. Regular season runs from the first Saturday in September until the first Saturday in December. That last week is reserved for conference championships, or for those conferences without divisions, finishing a full conference schedule. That's 14 weeks of games, with 1-2 off weeks for each team. Playoffs start the following weekend and run through the rest of the year. Bowl games for teams that did not make the playoffs begin the same week the second round is played. Bowl games for eliminated teams do not begin until January 1st. The National Championship game is the last game of the season.

3. No bowl games for any team that does not win at least 8 games or is not a conference champion. Sorry Wyoming, Southern Miss., SMU, Marshall, Kentucky, Texas A&M, Georgia, Army/UCLA (one of them would otherwise be in the EagleBank Bowl), Bowling Green, Idaho, Air Force, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Iowa St., Tennessee, Auburn, Florida St., South Florida, Northern Illinois, UConn, South Carolina, Arkansas, and Michigan St. You'd be staying home this year. Since it'd be an uneven 23 teams, an eight-win team would also lose a bowl bid.

That would leave you with 44 eligible teams and 22 bowls. I'd still say that's too many. Cut it down even further. If you get rid off all the eight-win teams this year, you're left with 28 teams for 14 games. I'd be fine with 15-20 bowls. But no more than 20. Ever. Get rid of the newer ones and just keep those that have been around longer.

4. No more cupcakes!! Limit each team to one (1) Division I-AA opponent per season. Sure, App. State's upset of Michigan in the Big House in 2007 was awesome, but that's not happening ever again. This would also help whittle down the number of bowl-eligible teams by making them schedule tougher opponents.

5. I strongly suggest that Notre Dame joins a conference. Sure they can stay independent, but it may help them rebuild their program to be able to win a conference championship and make the playoffs. In my opinion, the Irish have fallen from the top ranks of college football since that 1993 loss to Boston College, one week after beating Florida State in a No. 1 vs. No. 2 matchup. They've only won two of the eleven bowl games they appeared in since then (1994 Cotton and 2008 Hawai'i). They don't have to join a conference, but I'd recommend the Big Ten or Big East.

That pretty much covers everything that I think is wrong with college football. Love it? Hate it? I'd like to hear what you think.

Until then, just turn those bowl games off and watch something else. That'll teach 'em to fix it. Maybe if we act like we don't care, they will fix it...

2009-11-19T21:44:00.004-06:00

If you have doubts about using social networking websites, let this story convince you that they are worth your time. Or convince you that I've finally lost it...

Over this past summer, especially the July/August timeframe, I was being more and more vocal about my abhorrence (extreme hatred) for social networking sites. I thought they had nothing to offer me, and I had nothing to offer to them. It was like "Why bother? Who cares? I never do anything exciting ever."

After a late night discussion with my buddy Travis in early September, I slowly became convinced that it may not be as bad as I thought it would be. About a week and a half later, I was on Facebook. I was unimpressed, at first. But I put it to use for me. Getting the word out about my blog. Posting pictures. Locating people. Even found a fan of my video game FAQ's. You know, the usual.

"So, now I'm on Facebook." I was going to leave it at that. "What more would other services, like Twitter, accomplish?"

Well, I joined Twitter a month after I got on Facebook. I proceeded to use it in the same way. Partly to further readership of my blog (Seriously, who reads this shit? Wait, don't answer that...). Partly because Travis (@trav) would "be interested in following your twitter." But let's not kid ourselves here. I did it so I could #AskTheDonnas!!

The concept is pretty simple. Send them a question over Twitter with the tag #AskTheDonnas. Roughly every other Friday, they pick 8 questions and post the answers to their iLike blog (which then gets propagated to their Facebook and Twitter pages).

Yes, I'm still obsessed with them. And I'm proud to admit it. They rock. You can't avoid it, might as well enjoy it, 'cuz I do. But this isn't about them. It is, but it's not... We're getting off topic here...

I wanted to come up with a good question to ask @the_donnas. Something normal, something interesting, maybe a little humorous. I gave this a GREAT deal of thought. Do I ask something innocuous, as not to scare them away? Do I try to be a smartass and potentially (hell, DEFINITELY) make a fool of myself? Do I ask a question that I think they'd enjoy answering, "guaranteeing" (in my mind) a response? I spent weeks trying to come up with something.

I finally decided on one about a week and half ago. Asking which of their videos is their favorite, and which one they enjoyed making the most. Lame, I know. I thought it was the safe play. An innocent question, which, if answered, could potentially open the door to something a little more... aggressive (by that, I mean maybe get them to reveal even a mundane, yet fascinating, slightly personal detail).

Round 5 of #AskTheDonnas came around yesterday and they didn't answer my question. "No big deal, I'll live. It was a dumb question anyways." I had a much better one ready to go.

Before I even became obsessed with The Donnas, they had announced that drummer Torry Castellano would not be touring with them this summer (technically, it would appear her replacement, Amy Cesari, broke the news on 5/7/09 on her band's website; I couldn't find anything earlier than that on the Interweb). When I found this out during my descent into Donnadom, I was disappointed in the lack of Torrance, but gradually warmed up to the idea of Amy, and even started to like it. "Hey, if it keeps the band going, I'm gonna support it." Eventually, I did my due diligence to get to know her, maybe not as much as the regular Donnas, but enough.

Anywho, when Amy performs with The Demonics, she's sporting red face paint and devil horns on her forehead. Odd, but hey, whatever works for you.

Then I had watched The Donnas' "Who Invited You" video for the bazillionth time this past weekend. BAM!! It hit me. Like I suddenly put 2 and 2 together. "Wait a minute... That girl with face paint and horns on her forehead... (check out the 1:54 mark of the video) Is that Amy?"

Bingo. I had my question. So after Round 5 was finished and the bell rang, I came out swinging for Round 6. I asked...

And ye shall receive! Hell, I got something even better. My question was so good, The Donnas didn't even bother with waiting.

They responded with an empathic "Yes!" and retweeting my question on Twitter.

How fuckin' awesome is that? Getting RT'ed by one of your favorite bands, for the whole world to see? When I saw that on my phone during my lunch break today, I was beside myself. Arms raised in victory as I walked to my car. Cranking up that song on my radio during the drive back to work. Laughing like a mad man from my cubicle, with a huge grin on my face. That made my day. Literally. I'm gonna ride this high for the rest of the week and through the weekend. I'm tellin' everyone!! This is THAT good.

This one event erased every reservation I had about social networking. Travis, your infinite wisdom has shown me the way once again. Thanks. Again. I could never repay you, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying. Even it's from the looney bin after they come to take me away.

My head hurts just trying to comprehend it...

2009-11-17T21:25:00.003-06:00

Whoa, wait a minute. Fall Out Boy's been around for 4 years, have released three albums, and NOW they've got a greatest hits?

No, that's... NO!! Why did they even bother? Please, for the love of god, get them some more emo juice so they can make new albums. I can live with that; I've got all of them. I might buy that, but...

Ow. Just think these things out next time...

Yet another reason I need to leave Fargo...

2009-11-07T14:34:00.007-06:00

The music scene here sucks. Among the many problems...

Too much country music. WE Fest. Two country radio stations is one too many. Yuck.
All the rest of the radio stations here suck. Y94 blows goats. They keep shuffling the deck with every other station up here, so I never know what station is playing which format. Thank god for my iPod's FM transmitter.
We only get one good concert a year. This summer was Green Day. Bon Jovi's coming in March. That's about it within the next 18-24 months.
No good music stores. Best Buy is horrible; they keep reducing their music inventories in favor of more profitable items. Disc-Go-Round and Cheapo are gone. And I've bought all three of the decent CD's from PawnAmerica.

I could go on, but I think those points alone cover all the bases.

It's not gonna get better. Ever. Sorry.

The Democrats are ruining America

2009-11-05T00:49:00.004-06:00

President Barack Obama and his cronies are running this country into the ground.

I, like many conservatives, are worried that the Democrats are going to "fix" America by redistributing wealth. Going all Robin Hood-style on the rich and giving to the poor. Punishing financial success. Not allowing capitalism to do its job.

This would be all fine and dandy, but there's one area where they won't do a thing about it. One industry where they'll let the big spenders run rampant. Doing nothing to level the playing, both figuratively AND literally.

Major League Baseball.

Obama's been in office for one year, and the New York Yankees are the 2009 World Series champions. And they have the biggest payroll in baseball, and a new billion dollar stadium to go with it.

Those Democrats are fuckin' hypocrites...

You think I'm crazy? You be the judge...

In the Reagan-Bush years, from 1981 to 1992, the New York Yankees only appeared in the '81 World Series, losing in 6 games to the Los Angeles Dodgers. During the Republicans' time in the White House, 17 different teams appeared World Series (9 A.L. and 8 N.L.). Ten different champions during that time, with only Los Angeles and Minnesota winning multiple titles. There was no crazy free agent spending. Every team had players worthy of being on the All Star team. 20 teams would come into spring training each year with a reasonable chance of winning the World Series. It was wide open. Available to anyone for the taking, the way it should be. What a glorious time for baseball...

Then, Bill Clinton took office in 1993, and everything went to hell. That season, the Yankees went from a 76 win team to an 88 win team, a twelve-game turnaround, finishing 7 back of eventual World Series champion Toronto. In 1994, they were in first place in the A.L. East by 6.5 games over Baltimore before the strike cancelled the season. They made the playoffs every year through the rest of Clinton's two terms, winning four division titles (and two wild card spots). Each time they won the East, they went on to win the World Series, going 16-3 in those four contests. No one else had a chance. New York was loading up on free agents, getting the best that money could buy. Small-market teams who had great success in the 80's, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Cincinnati, Milwaukee; they didn't even have a chance. I was disgusted.

Fortunately, it all came to an end in 2000. George W. Bush took control, and the Yankees were over. Only two world series appearances; 2001 and 2003. Lost 'em both. To expansion teams from the 90's!! It was great. The Yankees continued to attempt to buy the championship each year, but to no success. The Republican from Texas had fixed baseball, and all was right with the world once again.

Still think I'm nuts? I'll go on!!

The Yankees won twice while Jimmy Carter was in the White House, back-to-back in '77 and '78. They were swept in '76 while Gerald Ford was at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and didn't even get there when Richard Nixon was living at that address. And although New York did not get to the World Series with Lyndon Johnson in office, they won twice in three appearances under the Kennedy administration. In fact, the last time the Yankees won a World Series while the GOP held power in the executive branch? 1958, during the Eisenhower administation, when they beat the Milwaukee Braves in seven games.

Fuckin' Democrats. If it means keeping the Yankees out of the White House, I'll gladly vote Republican for the rest of my life.

I don't get it

2009-10-31T08:55:00.002-05:00

Every time I watch a cop show on TV, and they're walking through dark areas with their guns drawn, the officers will hold the gun in one hand and a flashlight in the other.

Why is that? Don't they make something where you can mount a small flashlight on top of their pistols? Would a device like that throw off the firing mechanics of the gun and prevent them from being accurate? Do they do this so the gun is easily holsterable in case it's not needed (for example, if they find a missing person who needs medical attention and the scene has been cleared)? Or maybe it's to have the ability to blind a suspect without having to point the gun at him/her?

Can ANYONE explain this to me? Please? Kthnxbai.

Am I nearing extinction?

2009-10-26T18:33:00.005-05:00

I'm considering a trip down to the Twin Cities this weekend because, well, just because I can. I got this Friday off. No plans for Halloween yet. Why not?

I proceed to e-mail my friends down there to see what everyone else would be up to and if they'd want to get together. And... let's just say the responses have been less than... Plentiful...

This happened the last two times I planned a trip to the Cities. And it's got me thinking. Have I become an IT dinosaur before I even turned 30? Just because I'm still trying to use e-mail for personal purposes?

I can picture it now. Schoolchildren walking through a museum and approaching a Fritzasaurus Rex, as the teacher explains "He died out because he didn't adapt to new techology in his day. He made phone calls instead of sending text messages. He didn't like the taste of Facebook or Twitter. 'Paul' didn't evolve or procreate, so he just passed away quietly, because the others couldn't hear his roars."

Make sure you get some good pictures of my skeleton and my ancient iPod classic when you're visiting my display.

2009-10-24T13:30:00.010-05:00

If you've ever checked out my music collection, you may be thinking "Wow, this guy is all over the map. He has a little bit of everything." Probably more like "Who the hell listens to X AND Y AND Z? How can he like all those? They just don't belong with each other." Something along those lines.

How did we get here? I'm glad you asked. I'd be happy to walk you through it.

I have almost no loyalty to bands. In my mind, you're only as good as your last album. The slate gets wiped clean when the new release hits stores. Then I do my research. Listen to the songs. Compare prices. Maybe read some reviews (though I don't know why, I'd like to decide for myself and don't care what anyone else may think). After you're presented your case, I pass my judgement.

It's a roughly exponential scale, where the rating of an artist is equal to the log of the amount of time and money I'd be willing to spend on that artist in my lifetime to the base of some unknown number x (it's somewhere around 10, but it doesn't really matter because it's not an absolute value; just an example to get my point across). If you're not as mathematically inclined as I am, this will make more sense as I explain the ratings.

Level 0: I'm either indifferent to an artist (because I've never heard of you) or I don't like (possibly even hate) them. I'm not buying your music. Maybe later. Maybe NEVER. Just not now. And if I hate you, I'm going to avoid you like the plague. You'll get nothing and like it.

Level 1: Congratulations. You've got a good song. That's about it. I'll add it to the list, and either purchase it individually online, or wait until a compilation album/soundtrack comes around with it on there. I may even LOVE the song, but I'm still not buying your album.

Level 2: Nice work. There are at least a couple of good songs on your album, so I'll buy it. I'm only going to listen to those songs though. I may have tried to listen to the album, but found myself pressing the Next button most of the time. But hey, you got $10 ± 4 from me. Can you really complain about that?

You can reach Level 2 if you have multiple Level 1 songs on an album, but it's no guarantee. If I don't care for you, I'll avoid buying your album and only pick off the good songs. For example, I wasn't willing to buy TLC's greatest hits album, but I liked "Waterfalls" and "No Scrubs". What did I do? Just buy those two songs on iTunes. We're done here, you can go now. Go on, get!

Level 3: You reached level 2, I decided to give your album a chance, and I admit, it's solid. Most of songs are pretty good. I like it. I could start warming up to you. Don't forget we reset the scores after the next record comes out. You may have won Game 1, but it's a five/seven/nine-game series. It's not over yet; you've still got work to do.

Examples of Level 3's: "Throwing Copper" by Live, "Modified" by Save Ferris, and Show and Tell" by Silvertide.

Most soundtracks and compilation albums will fall somewhere between Levels 2 and 3, depending on how many good songs are on it, as a percentage of total songs on the album.

Level 4: Sweet. You have multiple albums meeting the requirements for Level 2. At this point, I'm starting to like your band. I may or may not state that publicly; it could be embarassing to me. You may have 2-0 or a 3-1 lead in this series, but you haven't WON anything yet. You could fall apart at the end, and all I'll be talking about is how you blew it. You still need to keep the momentum going, or I'll kick you back down to Level 3. Perhaps even Level 2 or Level 1.

Examples of Level 4's: Audioslave, Sheryl Crow, Eminem, Linkin Park, Reel Big Fish, Yellowcard. You get the point. Check out the complete list of songs in my collection and you can figure it out.

Level 5: Multiple albums meeting the Level 3 conditions. I officially like you. Heck, I may even LOVE you. At this point, I'm looking to buy additional merchandise from your group. Maybe some shirts, posters, DVD's, etc. You're looking at a triple-digit income from my spending habits. It takes a lot of hard work, and some luck, to get here. You should feel good about yourself. Even if you release a not-so-good album, you'll probably stay here.

Examples of Level 5's: Barenaked Ladies, Everclear, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, John Mayer, The Offspring, Staind.

There's a number of bands stratling the line between 4 and 5. They include blink-182, Nickelback, Saliva, Sum 41. But all is not lost if you're stuck in this limbo. If I'm starting to consider you for promotion, I'm looking to buy concert tickets if/when you come to town. But you DO have to come, and when you do, the price has to be right. For example, Saliva played in Fargo in Sept. 2007, and tickets were $10. It was an amazing show, and I ended up buying two of their albums that night after it all was over.

Level 6: The pinnacle. Top of the mountain. This is unconditional love. I'll buy your new album without question. I don't even have to listen to any of the songs on it. I'm planning to buy individual songs that you've collaborated with other artists on. You're THAT good. I've also descended in obsession with you. Spending hundreds of hours online, looking for any information I can find on you. Videos, interviews, live performances, whatever I can get my hands on. 'Cuz I want to know everything. I sound creepy saying that, but I'm not sure how else I can explain how much I like your band.

Let's get one thing clear, though. YOU WILL NEVER GET HERE!! It's just not a realistic goal. That's like me trying to get to the major leagues of baseball; it ain't happenin'. Just look at Green Day, 5 albums with a pair of singles. Barenaked Ladies, 6 albums and a single. John Mayer, 5 albums, two of which are live double albums. These guys are very good, but they haven't quite made it yet. Will they? Will YOU? Anything's possible, but honestly... I don't see it. I just don't.

As of this date, only two groups have gotten this far in 15 years. Weezer and The Donnas. That's it. Weezer got there with the release of their Video Capture Device DVD in 2004. The Donnas only recently got here, after I realized that my "obsession" that began in late August was just me rapidly becoming a fan of them.

One last comment about Level 6. Brett, Brian, Torry, Rivers, Maya, Allison, Scott, Patrick (and if you're listening, Amy, Josh, and Karl). It's possible that you could get booted from Level 6. You may be league champions, you may have had a lavish victory parade, you may have that shiny trophy up in a highly-secured glass case in the entryway to your stadium. But guess what? You're going to have to defend that trophy next season. Good luck. You may be the favorites, but there's gonna be some people gunnin' for you. Just a fair warning.

That's how it works. How I approach the appreication and the acquisition of music. I know it really isn't one of those things you can quantify and rationalize. But I did, 'cuz that's how I roll. Where you really expecting any different of me?

Friends in Low Places

2009-10-22T22:34:00.003-05:00

Blame it all on my roots.

Nearly 4 years ago, I started playing World of Warcraft at the suggestion of a couple of buddies from college who had moved away from the Fargo-Moorhead area. It was great. I was able to interact AND play video games with these people on a daily basis, like we were still in school. Like they had never left.

I also met some new people through the game. Some were douchebags (I think we all know who they are...), but others were really awesome. Or, should I say, ARE awesome. People whom I can call and talk shit about for an hour. On a regular basis. AND they'll call me. Or we'll talk over IM. Shoot e-mails back and forth. About anything and everything. Make jokes, tell stories, open up to.

It still seems a little weird to me, though. These people are essentially complete strangers, whom I've never met in person (or only just once), but I feel like I can talk to them about things I couldn't with my other friends (no offense). They won't judge me. They totally accept me for who I am, which makes me feel great.

Friends like Chris, Clint, Cynthia, Duane, Kara (lots of love to all of you). Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for letting me into your lives. Thank you for being a part of mine. I don't know what I'd do without you. I hope nothing ever changes between us, because I don't want to lose you.

(My apologies to anyone I may have forgotten from Azeroth. And my apologies to my other friends as well. Please don't take this to mean that I don't love you, 'cuz you're just as special to me.)

How exactly do you define happiness?

2009-10-18T18:57:00.005-05:00

Over the last week or so, I've been thinking a lot about my own happiness. I've been feeling pretty good, even though not much has changed for me in the last month. I'm way behind at work, I still don't have a girlfriend, I haven't made much (if any) progress in moving down to the Twin Cities. I've started applying a new philosophy to life: "Fuck it, who cares?" I'm trying to not get worked up over the little things. Not care what people think. Just let it all happen, and whatever will be, will be. Take things one day at a time.

In general, I'm feeling better. More confident. More engaging in conversations with people, even those I don't much care for. But there's a nagging part of me that asks "Am I really happy?" IS there a difference between feeling happy and being happy? If not, why do I still have this empty feeling, like something's missing...?

I'm sure I'll figure it out soon. Until then, "Fake it 'til you make it."

I can't speak for him

2009-10-17T19:32:00.006-05:00

"Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" - Rob Gordon, High Fidelity

I don't know if you ever came up with an answer to that question, Rob, but personally, I'd say I do the former. I use pop music to pick me up, with varying degrees of success. To get pumped up for athletic competition. To escape from the stress of work. To get my brain churning. To make me happy.

On the other hand, my pursuit of acquiring pop music makes me miserable. Well, maybe not, but it can make me unhappy. I put a lot of effort into buying CD's, getting MP3's, researching albums and bands, making sure I get the best deal possible. It drives me nuts sometimes. No matter how much progress I make, there's still more to be done. It's one of those finish lines that keeps moving further away from me as I approach it. I'm not miserable from listening to pop music, I'm miserable for WANTING to own pop music.

Now is the winter of our discontent

2009-10-11T21:17:00.003-05:00

I don't ask for much in this world. A woman to love me. A job I don't hate. Enough money where I can do almost anything I want (within the limits of the law). Immortality.

But for now, I'd settle for a Minnesota Twins World Series Championship. Yes, it's happened twice in my lifetime, but I was 6 and 10 when they won it all. I don't remember watching any of those games, I have no memory of those wins. It's almost as if it didn't happen.

I've seen my football team win the Super Bowl. I've seen my hockey team win a Stanley Cup. I'd like to complete the trifecta in my adult lifetime. Philadelphia did it. St. Louis did it. Boston did it. Florida did it. Even the goddamn Chicago White Sox did it. Why can't Minnesota?

I'll do anything to see it just ONCE. I'll give up all my worldly possessions. I'll find God. I'll sell my soul to Satan. Hell, I'll even become a Vikings fan...

It's going to be a LONG and COLD winter...

How much longer will I have to wait?

2009-10-04T09:36:00.004-05:00

When am I going to get my True Lies sequel? It's been 15 years now, it's WAY overdue. Arnold Schwarzenegger should be out of office in a couple of years. James Cameron has been talking to him about it the last few years. Jamie Lee Curtis and Tom Arnold could return as well.

But the biggest reason I want to see True Lies 2 would be Eliza Dushku. Watching her kick some ass on-screen, in nice outfits, saving the day? I'll pay full price to see that in the theatres.

This could solve a lot of problems...

2009-09-29T21:51:00.003-05:00

Ever since he blew out his knee his rookie season, people are saying that the Minnesota Twins move catcher Joe Mauer to first base. Of course, with Justin Morneau, that's not an option. You're not going to fire your hometown star player's best friend and give him his old job. That wouldn't end well.

If you're seriously going to move Joe from behind the plate, put him at 3rd. He played it in high school, and the Twins haven't had a real third baseman since Corey Koskie. You could solve everyone's problems. Keep Justin at first, get a power-hitting third baseman, keep Cuddyer in right, Kubel DH'ing. Just do it already.

Two birds with one stone

2009-09-27T09:11:00.004-05:00

After watching large portions of it over the last week, I have decided that Jerry Maguire IS NOT a football movie.

However, I will add it to my list of good Tom Cruise movies. That brings the total to 3.

2009-09-25T19:06:00.003-05:00

I wish I could grow (and shed) my facial hair at will. Just instantly grow a goatee or mutton chops. Then as soon as I was bored of it or needed to clean myself up for a special occasion, POOF!! All gone. No more shaving, no more itchiness when it grows in, none of that. So nice...

What does it all mean?

2009-09-23T20:25:00.004-05:00

Had another rough night last night...

Woke up around 3 AM, and I was having this strange dream where I was trying to write a jingle for a TV commercial. I think it was for some kind of department store, like a Macy's or a JCPenney's. The lyrics for the song were kinda absurd, but the only line I remember is "from oversocks to overclocks" (it was the last line I thought of before I awoke).

I know what overclocking is, I'm a tech geek. But oversocks? Are those bigger socks that go over your normal socks? Are they shoe-like? Am I overthinking this? (Yes, but that's not the point...)

So I got up to get a drink, but all I had was Pepsi. I didn't go buy groceries last night because I didn't feel like it. Some milk really woulda hit the spot... Pepsi did not. Wasn't cold enough and kinda flat (it was in a 2-liter bottle, about half full, opened over the past weekend).

After my less-than-refreshing refreshment, I went back to bed. Then I started thinking about this idea I had for a Beavis and Butt-Head episode where Butt-Head was a contestant on Jeopardy! I wondered what happened to the Word document I was typing up for that...

Anywho, I musta fallen asleep pretty quickly, since I don't remember the music stopping on my iPod alarm clock.

Did I stay asleep? Nope. I think I woke up once or twice more, around 5 and 6 AM. Suck.

And that's all I have to say about that.

If This Is It...

2009-09-18T20:34:00.027-05:00

Please let me know.

It's been roughly 100 hours since this Facebook experiment began. And so far, I'm not all that impressed.

Regular readers of my blog (which consists of me, and that's about it) know I had some concerns about using these social networking websites. I'm starting to think I was right...

Of course, you're probably sitting there and thinking "You've been on Facebook for 4 days, Paul. What did you think was gonna happen?" Let me walk you through it.

I sign up on Monday night. Using nothing but my first and last name, it found 8 friends for me right off the bat. I'm thinking, "How did it know who my friends would be? Something doesn't seem right about that. Something doesn't FEEL right about that..."

And they came from a few different "generations" of friends (a generation of friends is defined as the circle I was a part of during a significant historical period of my life; e.g. my NDSU friends, my Service Center friends, my high school friends, etc.). One appeared to be someone I knew from my last summer in the Marshall Islands 6 years ago and haven't seen or even spoken to since (I did not confirm this by sending that person a friend request, but I never felt like we were friends, even though we had a few mutual friends). A couple were names I didn't even recognize (I didn't even bother with friending them, because I would expect they'd have same reaction). But there were a couple of real, actual friends from my NDSU and Service Center generations, too.

Then I filled out some information about myself and saw names of people who disappeared from my life after I moved onto the next social circle. From all generations of friends, going back to high school. This concerned me as well. Not because they were on Facebook, but I felt like I'd be falling into a trap of spending numerous hours tracking them all down (I've been resisting the urge to whip out my high school yearbooks and Googling them for months now).

I've been posting a little something every day since Monday. My dear friend Sandy (Sandy, if you're out there, I mean that) made a typical Sandy-esque comment about my Facebook concerns, then we fired a couple shots back at each other. Since then? No comments on anything. I posted a link to a funny video, a couple of my recent blog posts, and some status updates. No comments. Do I need to make a first move here? I thought I did that already with some of my comments to my friends. It could be the "lack" of friends so far (as of this moment, I'm only up to 24).

Slightly more concerning, I'm not seeing regular updates from nearly any of them either. A majority of what I'm seeing is updates from a few friends on the progress they're making in their Facebook games. Is that all you're gonna post? I know when I was playing World of Warcraft, anyone who wasn't playing it with me didn't care how I was working my way through Azeroth. What else are you up to? Pics? Stories? Blog posts? Links? Anything?

Maybe I need to go find more friends. There are a number of suggestions from Facebook as to who could be my friends (for the most part, the list was quasi-accurate; a better term for those people would be acquientences). Some of them, I'm waiting for them to make the first move (lame, I know, trying to judge how much I really mean to these people by seeing if they friend me on Facebook).

Then again, one person came out of DEEP left field to be my friend. Someone I wasn't ever expecting to hear from ever again in my entire life. Someone I just wrote off 4-5 years ago. Someone I had a huge crush on as I was wrapping up my education at NDSU. Someone that gave me a very disturbing dream a few years back because of that. I wasn't sure how to respond. I've moved on from my issues with her, and she's married now (it appears). I accepted the friend request, but... I don't know... The initial shock of seeing her and her request has since worn off, so I guess it's a moot point now.

Not all of Facebook has been bad so far. I was able to find a way to import my blog posts. Pretty happy about that. One of the big reasons I signed up; I wanted more readers. I was able to lock down my profile, which is kinda ironic, since for the most part, I don't care the personal information about myself on the Internet. But I've got this small concern that someone on Facebook will see me say something that makes me a dick, and respond as such. I also don't want my co-workers to find me (sorry, almost all of them are customers, even the ones I am on very friendly terms with). I'm not spending every waking moment on it either. I don't check Facebook at work, and when I get home, I open it in my web browser and leave it open. Kind of like leaving the TV on in the background.

I think we can all agree it's probably too early to pass judgement on Facebook. We'll see what happens. Hopefully, there's more to it than this. But if this is it... what was the point to begin with?

Drummin' it up

2009-09-15T20:40:00.004-05:00

It's been one week. One freakin' week, since I got my drum pads back from EA. And they're already fallin' apart. ONE WEEK!!

The red pad is bubbling up, just like it did before I opened my RMA with EA. One week of playing on Medium "accomplished" the same thing that 5-6 weeks of Easy did.

You certaintly do get what you pay for...

This time, I'll let it come completely off, then reglue it myself. Until then, I'll continue to improve my skills, kill my right wrist and elbow, and have a good time.

Back to normal... relatively speaking...

2009-09-14T21:53:00.006-05:00

I think my The Donnas obsession has runs its course. This was just a temporary thing. Sure, I still want them to come to Fargo or the Twin Cities, and I'd like to meet them, and I really like their music, and I need to buy their CD's, and I want to make a pass at one or more of them...

Well, the point is, I'm not CONSTANTLY thinking about them anymore. Got other things on my mind. Moving to the Twin Cities. Today. Using Facebook, despite my concerns. Drumming in Rock Band 2. Fantasy Baseball.

Back to as much of my normal self as I ever was. And you know, I'm pretty content about it. Almost happy, even. I think I'm gonna be... OK.

This is even worse than I thought...

2009-09-06T17:33:00.019-05:00

If you read my blog on a regular basis, you know the issues I've had after I got my Rock Band 2 set for my Wii. I knew it would be coming as soon as I got that game. What it would have led to, I did not expect. I couldn't have prepared for it. I was doomed to fall so far, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I wish it would have been something simple, like getting addicted to Heroin Hero. This is way worse. Here's how it all went down...

On July 9th, I posted this after I got my first full clear (100% Flawless performance) playing drums in RB2. Yes, it was on Easy difficulty. "So what? Big deal." At the time, I was pretty impressed with myself. Pleased with my performance. Thinking I would be moving onto bigger and better things (read: higher difficulties). Over the next month, I did it at least 10 more times (that I can prove with photographic evidence, some additional ones were done during multi-song sets, so I could not confirm it like you can at the end of set).

In early August, I was starting to get concerns that my drum set was falling apart. My red drum pad was starting to bubble, becoming unglued from the apparatus. Concerned it might affect my performance and cheat me out of further full clears, I did a bit of research to find out how I could fix it, but considering it would require disassembly, thereby voiding my warranty, I decided against it.

About this same time, I was starting to move up to Medium difficulty. I was using the Drum Trainer, in addition to playing songs, to get used to the increased hand and foot coordination required to play at that level. The first song I played at Medium was "Today" by The Smashing Pumpkins. At the time, it was my favorite song of the moment (FSotM). I did pretty well. I scored 97% for a tier-2 drum song. I was happy.

A day later, my drum pedal broke. Suck. "Well, since my pedal is broken, I might as well get the whole thing repaired/replaced." I called EA. Although I never bought my Rock Band gear, the support rep. I spoke to on the phone was kind enough to speak to his supervisor and create a couple of RMA's to resolve my issues (Lots of love to you, Alan, if you're out there reading this). One for the pedal, one for the pads. A week to get two empty boxes to send them in, another to get replacements back from EA. "I can live without my drum set for two weeks. I can sing or play guitar while I wait."

I could not play guitar (and I doubt I ever will with any proficiency). I could sing. Singing in Rock Band, in your living room, by yourself, is BORING!! Tried it for a day or two and stopped. Even after I redeemed some instant wins for downloadable content (additional songs) from Pepsi/Yahoo!/Rock Band's promotion. "Great. Well, it's only a couple of weeks, I can wait. I'll find other things to do."

Wrong again. A few days later, I lifted my self-imposed ban on Tuesday night hockey due to my back problems. But a week later, they came back. To help ensure I would be in good enough shape to play in the upcoming winter and the Novice Hockey League in Fargo, I would stop playing for the summer. I got in some rounds of golf, but golfing by yourself isn't very fulfilling (for me, golf has always been a social engagement first, and a fun game second). I tried calling friends to hang with, but I was having issues with that too. Greg and his wife just had a kid. Jason and his wife were expecting twins. Paul didn't have any energy to do anything after working at his own fencing business at the end of day. Casey is busy with his dental practice, his new gas station, and hanging out at his lake place. Jeff moved to Iowa in May. And I'm not really friends with anyone at work (sorry if you work with me, but I can't get on beyond the customer-support tech relationship with you). I worked on my website a bit, but since I was doing menial, tedious tasks, and not development, I got bored very quickly. Worked on my PC's a bit, compiling complete lists of all my hardware. I completed that project.

With each day that passed, spending time at work, prepping for our IT audit (and then actually going through it), I was growing more and more anxious to have my drums back. I wanted that to be my release at the end of the day.

After two weeks and no drum pads, I called EA, looking for an update. The second support rep. told me to wait another week, then call again if I hadn't received them. Running additional salt into the wound, I got a new pedal a week after I opened RMA's with Electronic Arts. A drum pedal with no pads; real useful...

I started hunting for more outlets for my drumlessness. Music-related stuff. Ordered some more CD's, some containing my favorite RB2 songs. Also redeemed some My Coke Reward points for Rhapsody credit, which became even more songs to listen too. After I got all that music, I researched more songs and albums to purchase. Rebuilt my shopping lists.

Then, it happened. This past weekend (8/28-8/30), I just could not take it anymore. I needed a stronger RB2 fix. I searched for full drum clears in RB2 on YouTube. I found one that I just got hooked on, and it spiraled out of control from there...

"New Kid in School" by The Donnas.

The same song I had "performed" for my first drum clear in RB2. I spent the rest of that weekend entranced by those four sirens. Singer Brett Anderson. Drummer Torry Castellano. Bassist Maya Ford. Guitarist Allison Robertson.

Before we continue, let's get one thing straight. This is NOT (and I repeat, NOT) just because they are attractive young women (despite what you may believe to be evidence to the contrary). It goes WAY beyond that.

Ever since that weekend, I can't stop listening to clips of their last four albums. I can't stop watching their music videos. I can't stop checking out their website, or their Facebook pages, or their YouTube channel. Google search after Google search for articles, interviews, fan sites, photos, both as a group and individually. Downloading videos from their "official" media site (look, that site may be violating IP laws, but if you're linking to it from your official MySpace page, you've given it your blessing and I can download as many videos as I want from it without repercussions). I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't stop thinking about them. I need to see them. I need to meet them. I want them to be my friends, and I want to be their friend too.

After that weekend, I still had no drum pads, so I called EA for the third time. They created a new RMA to send me pads, which I should have next week. It didn't fix my problem NOW. Although we just finished our IT audit on the 28th, before my weekend of descent into Donnaholism, I'm still struggling to get caught up at work, and each night this past week, the girls have been my comfort system after a stressful day. Spend an hour on the 'net with them, and I'm OK. Good enough to help me wind down for the evening, smile, and forget about work. Spend a few more obsessing over them, and I'm fucked...

What am I gonna do? I've tried to rationalize this. I've been down this road before. A little more than 5 years ago, Weezer released Video Capture Device, a DVD of their music videos and other rare footage of the band in the 90's and early 00's, and they became my favorite band FOR LIFE. But something about this feels a little different... And I can't put my finger on it... I don't know if it's because I'm older. Or if it's because Weezer are guys and The Donnas are girls. Or if it's much worse (I won't go into details because it scares me, and it would likely scare you too)...

I've spoke to a few friends about it. It's helped a little bit. To the point that we were making jokes about it last night at dinner. I'll have my drum pads back in a couple days, so I can continue drumming in RB2. Maybe after I get back into my old habits, this most recent obsession of mine will pass. I hope it can, because I don't know what to do next if it doesn't...

Damn you, Pandora...

I never thought of it that way

2009-09-05T08:47:00.006-05:00

I was talking to my good friend Travis last night. We were arguing over MySpace/Facebook/Twitter (or, as I will refer it as a collective unit from now on, MyTwitFace).

He convinced me it may not be as stupid and worthless as I thought. I still have doubts, but I'm more willing to give it a shot.

I was worried that signing up for MyTwitFace would make me a hypocrite (rant here). But he brought up an excellent point (like he almost always does)...

"Changing your opinion based on new information isn't hypocrisy, it's wisdom."

Makes me less worried about becoming a biter if/when I do sign up for MyTwitFace.

My next biggest concern is how to port my existing data over. I want to continue to maintain my blog here on Blogger, but have it appear on MyTwitFace. Same for the pics on my website.

In other words, MyTwitFace has to be a complement to PFritz21.NET, not a replacement. I'm not gonna give up on my website; I just won't have that.

Is that an invitation?

2009-08-30T15:29:00.007-05:00

The Donnas are a hard rock band from Palo Alto, CA, consisting for four attractive 30 year-old women.

If given the chance, I think I would hit that. Doesn't matter who; I'd take any (and, heck, ALL) of them. Singer Brett Anderson, drummer Torry Castellano, guitarist Allison Robertson, bassist Maya Ford. I don't care. All excellent choices. Few things are sexier than a woman who can rock.

So ladies, if you're in Fargo, you can Take Me to the Backseat. It'll be Bitchin'.

2009-08-26T22:02:00.004-05:00

Tom Cruise only made two good movies. Top Gun and A Few Good Men.

That's it. This isn't up for debate. It's fact. Don't even waste your time trying to argue. Just accept it.

No thanks

2009-08-19T22:14:00.003-05:00

If you want to know what I'm up to, e-mail or call me. If I want you to know what I've been doing, I'll do the same. You can also check out this blog or my website. And if you want to see my pictures, view my gallery, which I regularly update. OK, I haven't updated it in a couple of years, but I don't think that makes my point any less valid...

Please don't ask me to join MySpace. I don't want your invitation to Facebook. And I don't twit. I've got better things to do. Now, if you're excuse me, I'll go back to watching my paint dry on growing grass. It's really fascinating stuff...

Trade-offs

2009-08-16T22:28:00.005-05:00

For years, I've been doing nearly everything in my power to stay compliant with copyright protection laws. That means buying CD's instead of downloading them from file sharing networks (to be honest, I only stopped after NDSU threatened the smackdown on students using them). And I'm damn proud of myself. I'm not going to self-incriminate by doing into details, but almost every song I have I obtained through legal copying of my own compact disks.

One problem though: I've run out of space on my shelving unit for them. 7 shelves, 40 discs per shelf. 280 albums (on 298 discs according to my music page). And 4 more on the way from Amazon.com. I need more space.

It's gonna cost me. I figure I need to upgrade to something that holds 400. Gonna run me at least 80 dollars. Should tie me over for another decade. I don't have many more albums to pick up to finish off my collection.

I guess that's the trade-off for keeping a legal music collection. Storage space. And the money... But mostly the storage space.

2009-08-09T16:57:00.004-05:00

I've mentioned before that my favorite Cleveland Indian of all time is Pedro Cerrano.

If I ever meet Dennis Haysbert, I'm going to tell him straight-faced...

Is very bad to steal Jobu's rum. Is very bad.

Hooray for EA!!

2009-08-03T21:37:00.004-05:00

If you're having issues with your Rock Band equipment, check out EA's official service site.

They were very helpful for me. I was missing my drum sticks, and they told me to check ALL the boxes! I never would've thought of that. Thank you, EA, you saved my game!!

Not even close...

2009-07-31T20:52:00.004-05:00

Sure, you could argue that the best song on the Foo Fighters' album The Colour and the Shape is Everlong. Or maybe My Hero. Or even Monkey Wrench. And I'll admit, they are all very good songs. But none of them even come close.

THE best song off that album is Hey, Johnny Park!. Best drums parts, best lyrics, best guitar riffs.

Wind Up is a distant second. Distant like the way the sun is distant from Neptune.

Everything fades in time; it's true. But not this song. Not now, not ever.

Underrated

2009-07-19T13:43:00.004-05:00

I think Bill Engvall is the funniest out of all the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

Sure, Jeff was able to breakthrough first and lay a path for those guys, and Ron is a dirty old man, and Larry has been the big star of that group in recent years. But Bill seems the most normal out of all 4 of them. He's the everyman of the group. His stories on stage, about the day-to-day lives of him and his family? It can't be beat, IMO.

It's just not natural

2009-07-18T12:52:00.007-05:00

I love symmetry. When things don't look symmetric, it just bothers the hell out of me.

And no assymetrical things bother me more than major league baseball stadiums. I don't mind the fact that Wrigley Field != Fenway Park != Miller Park. But when left and right fields have completely different dimensions? Ugh...

Thank god for Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City, Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum in Oakland, and Rogers Centre in Toronto.

I don't know why lefties and righties have to contend with different depths in the outfield to hit balls out...

Damn you, Kennedy...

2009-07-17T22:24:00.004-05:00

You just HAD to get me hooked on Journey before you moved to Des Moines.

I liked them a little bit, but not enough to admit it. I was kinda ashamed of the fact that I liked a few of their songs. But you had to play their DVD at your New Year's Eve party this year and suckered me in. I bought their Greatest Hits for you, buddy.

So, I'm calling you out. The next time you're in Fargo, come over to my place and we'll throw down. "Any Way You Want It" on Rock Band 2. Me on drums. You on guitar (and possibly even singing). It'll be awesome when I smack you down with my dope beats.

Who's crying now? You. Don't stop believing, and accept it with open arms.

And away we go?

2009-07-16T18:59:00.004-05:00

More and more lately, I've been thinking about leaving Fargo for greener pastures. There's not much left for me here. No girl, job I'm not happy with, most of my friends have moved away. I don't know when I'll leave or why, but I gotta go...

If I go to a major metropolitan area, here's the short list of places to go and short descriptions on why:

** St. Louis - New Busch Stadium is beautiful, and the Cardinals fans know their stuff. What better place to hang out with forty thousand people who love baseball as much as you?
** Minneapolis/St. Paul - The pros? My friends from college live here. The cons? My "friends" from college live here. Additional pluses? Target Field will be awesome, and the U of M rocks.
** Atlanta - I'm told this is the place to go if you're single and about 30. Plenty of single ladies there, ripe for the pickin'.
** Dallas/San Antonio - Dallas isn't as high on my list as it once was, 'cuz I don't like pro hockey as much as I did ten years ago. My good friend Travis lives in San Antonio.
** San Diego - Awesome weather, great golf courses, military presence.
** Seattle - My friend Duane lives here. Space Needle and Pike's Place would be cool to see.
** Chicago - Travis and I are going to start a consulting business here, and we're putting it right next to Wrigleyville!
** Denver - John Elway, greatest quarterback ever.
** Lawrence/Kansas City, Kansas - Two of my best friends, Chris and Cynthia live in Lawrence. Not a big city itself (it's Fargo-sized), but close enough to KC to count.

I haven't made my mind up yet. I'm just not sure what to do, where to go, why. Maybe when I grow up, I'll figure it out...

My REAL problem with Barack Obama

2009-07-14T20:18:00.002-05:00

It's not that he's a democrat. Or that he's black. Or that he's going to run this country into the ground.

My REAL problem is that he's a goddamn White Sox fan.

Forget you, Mr. President. My Twins are going to whoop on you and your pale hosers in the second half. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure of that...

Really? Seriously?

2009-07-13T21:43:00.003-05:00

Did we really need a fourth Final Destination film?

How many times can you go through the motions and still make a "quality" filck?

Lemme tell you how it happens. Someone has a premonition about death, cheats it, then all the friends die except for one or two.

The End. Consider yourself up to speed. That'll be $9, please pay at the second window.

Do you have the time...

2009-07-11T08:36:00.005-05:00

..to listen to me whine?

Went to the Green Day concert last night with my friends Greg and Jen. It was excellent!! Well worth the $62. I gave it a 9 out of 10.

My only complaint was that they didn't play When I Come Around. They played Basket Case, Longview, and She from Dookie. The played my favorite song, Hitchin' a Ride (which I was not expecting). They played a bunch of songs from their new album, 21st Century Breakdown (it's why they're on tour in the first place). But how could they not play the song that helped them break through in the mid-90's? I just don't get it.

Other than that, it was a great show. Billie Joe in a helluva entertainer and stage presence. Dropping F-bombs and acting more like he's 17, not 37. Tre Cool zooming around the Fargodome before the show on a motor bike. And Mike Dirnt tearing it up on bass guitar. I can't wait for the next one.

And they're from Fargo!! Who knew?! That's awesome to have them back home again!

Hey, anyone wanna go to Minneapolis tonight? Green Day's at the Target Center, and tickets are still on sale...

What was I thinking?

2009-07-09T22:35:00.005-05:00

After two weeks of playing with the contents of Pandora's Box, I've realized something.

I should have played drums in band. No messing around with a trumpet or a clarinet.

I don't know what I was thinking...

Danger, Will Robinson

2009-06-28T11:13:00.003-05:00

Now that I'm in my mid-to-late 20's, and all my friends from college are having kids, I've realized something.

Your life is OVER after you have kids.

It doesn't matter if you're a teenager, or a college kid, or a full-blown adult. You can't live for yourself anymore and do what you want, when you want.

Getting married is NOWHERE near as bad. Sure, a ball and chain may be a hinderance, but it's not a anchor with a diaper. A married person can still get permission to leave the house. A person with a kid is obligated to stay home and take care of the little spawn.

Don't believe me? Go ask Kyle.

Don't open that!!

2009-06-26T16:57:00.013-05:00

In Greek mythology, Pandora opened a box and unleashed many evils into world.

On June 23, 2009, I received my copy of Rock Band 2 and proceeded to do the exact same thing.

Two weeks ago today, I had an 8 AM conference call at work. Before going to that meeting, I got a 20 oz. Pepsi out of one of the vending machines. It had a red cap on it, instead of the standard dark blue. That cap was part of a promotional contest that Pepsi, Yahoo!, and EA were running. It contained a 12-character alphanumeric code that could be entered on their website to enter drawings for Rock Band 2 Special Edition packages (for your choice of game system) and downloadable content, among other things.

Later that night, maybe around 10 or 11 PM, I entered my code onto the website. Since I didn't already own the game, I used it to enter the hourly drawing for a package for a Wii. One shot, one kill; I won.

The website stated it would take 6-8 weeks for delivery. Which was fine with me. I suck at Rock Band. My friends Casey and Jason have the game, and I had only played it a few times. I never played Guitar Hero, which was never released for a Nintendo console until GH3 came out on Wii in late 2007. Besides, I don't have the finger dexterity to be very good at it. But when the original Rock Band came out around the same time, I was intrigued. Drumming? Singing? Things that I suck less at? Sign me up!

Harmonix, the developers of Rock Band, announced the sequel in summer 2008 (about 4 months before I ever played it for the first time at Jason's place on Halloween), so I was going to wait for that release before getting it for myself. And even then, I wanted to wait until AFTER this summer was over. I had too much going on. Weddings, golf, vacations, hockey, etc. If I got Rock Band 2, I'd spend nearly every waking moment playing it. Not leaving the house. Not spending time with friends. Wasting hundreds of hours just trying to unlock all the content for all my friends to come over and play it with me (or more realistically, take it to their places). And we all know what happened with the last game I spent a kajillion hours on...

So anyway, I get home from work on Tuesday and there's a UPS delivery notice on the front door of my apartment building. I assume it's for my new check blanks, so I go to pick them up on my way to my hockey scrimmage that night. I get to UPS, give them the delivery notice, flash the badge (photo ID, but badge sounds sexier), and they give me this large box. My initial reaction? "What the hell?" I must have said it 2-3 times before I walk out with it to my car. I open the box. There's my Rock Band 2 Special Edition for Wii. The box was shorter (height-wise) and longer than I expected. And it arrived in 6-8 DAYS, not weeks. Hence, my initial confusion.

I go and play hockey, and after I'm done, I went home, ate, showered, then unpacked the equipment and assembled it. Drum kit, microphone, and guitar (only one guitar, but that's another story for another day). I don't play it, 'cuz it was getting close to 1 AM and I had to work in the morning. But Wednesday, at lunch, I went home and booted it up, created my band and character, and played a few songs. A little singing, but a lot of drumming.

It's only been 72 hours. My left hand hurts from drumming. Every time I close my eyes, I can picture the gameplay and the drumming portions. Many of the game's songs are stuck in my head. I needed to watch "High Fidelity" on DVD. Why? Because I named my band "Sonic Death Monkey" (Let 'em riot, we're Sonic-fuckin'-Death Monkey). I had to make an iTunes mix of all the songs in the Rock Band series (the games, track packs, and downloadable content). I have an overwhelming urge to purchase the MP3's I don't already own of the songs that appear in the game series. And another urge to buy additional game content (the original game, track packs, and songs).

Could I have avoided this? Maybe, but doubtful. A special edition of Rock Band 2 comes in at around $190, plus tax and/or shipping. An extra guitar to get a full set of instruments is around 50 to 75 bucks (depending on the manufacturer). The original game is $50, plus $5 for a code to let me import them into #2. Track packs are $30 for 20 additional songs. Individual songs for download are $2. I knew I was going to open this can of worms at some point; the question was when.

Pandora, you have my sympathies. I can't blame you for what you did, because I'm guilty myself. Nothing left to do but start a club and order some sweaters.

Better lucky than good

2009-06-24T19:15:00.004-05:00

This never should have happened, but it did.

USA 2, Spain 0.

America upset the #1 team in the world. Just watch the video highlights from this match. Both goals and over a half dozen saves by goalkeeper Tim Howard. Amazing play by my fellow Yanks.

If they can keep this up for the next 14-15 months and NOT SUCK at the World Cup next year... Maybe 2010 is our year...

Addendum

2009-06-22T20:51:00.003-05:00

If Albert Pujols does get to 800 home runs (see rant here), I say forgo the 5-year wait for him to go into the Hall of Fame. Just to rub some extra salt into the wounds of those who may not get there, due to their tainted accomplishments.

The Golden Age

2009-06-21T21:50:00.004-05:00

Almost all the best role-playing games EVER were made for the Super Nintendo. Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy II and III, Earthbound, Soul Blazer, Robotrek, Super Mario RPG, Zelda III, and Secret of Mana, just to name a few. Sure, the NES had the original Final Fantasy, the original Dragon Warrior, and Zelda 1 and 2. I was addicted to World of Warcraft for a while. And Super Paper Mario was fun to go all retro-style on the Wii. But it's the SNES RPG's that I keep finding myself going back to. The classics just never get old...

(UPDATE: I can't believe I forgot one of my favorites, Robotrek. What is wrong with me?)

A handful of redemption

2009-06-13T21:58:00.003-05:00

Ever since I was 9 or 10, the town of Carrington, ND turned on me. I hate that place. Still do. Not so much the location itself, but all the assholes that used to live there and give me a hard time. There's fewer things I'd love to do more than cause physical pain and destruction to those who inflicted emotional pain on me.

But this story isn't about them. Not really. My dad's 50th birthday is tomorrow, so I drove to Carrington this morning to take him and his best friend Pete golfing at Cross Roads, the fairly new 18-hole course in town.

I must say, I was impressed. It was a really nice course. Good condition. Wide open. Green. A lot nicer than the rest of town (which looks small and run down).

Ironically, it also turned out to be the site of my first birdie. EVER!! On the par-4 13th, I drove my tee shot about 200 yards (but to the right of the fairway), put my second shot with my sand wedge within a few feet of the hole, and nailed the putt for the bird.

I shot a 103, but I'm happy. My dad got a birdie on the final hole as well. Good times were had by all.

I may still have a bitter taste in my mouth from all Carrington has done to me. But I'll play golf there again. I think I can break 100...

A $5 on the 5

2009-06-12T20:01:00.003-05:00

I'm calling it now. The Machine will get to 400 home runs before the end of the '10 season.

I think 500 and 600 are locks (provided he stays healthy). I'd like to think that 700 is a likelyhood. I'm willing to sacrifice several goats to make sure he passes the 800 mark, and Bonds and A-Roid as well. And I hope he hits every single one of them in a St. Louis jersey (though if he wants to play for the Twins at some point, I won't complain...).

This is going to work out nicely...

2009-06-04T18:28:00.003-05:00

It's only been 3 nights, but Conan O'Brien's new job looks like it'll be just as good as his old one. I was concerned that he'd have to leave behind some of the best sketches, but after he and Andy talked about the year 3000, I have faith. I kinda wished they kept it the exact same, but what can you do?

I can't wait to see what else they'll be bring over. I just hope that Masturbating Bear, Horny Manatee, and Evil Puppy will be appearing as well. Maybe some Celebrity Secrets or If They Mated. And they gotta get Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage and the Walker, Texas Ranger lever.

Best. Song. Ever.

2009-06-03T19:57:00.003-05:00

In a small, sad way, I'm almost glad that Audioslave broke up a couple of years ago. Because there was NO WAY they'd ever make a song as good as Be Yourself. The intro, the bassline, the drums, Chris Cornell's vocals, the lyrics, the chorus, the solo, the WHOLE DAMN THING. The video is excellent too. And let's not forget its use in the conclusion of the season 6 premiere of Scrubs.

If someone could only get it added into Rock Band as downloadable content... *DROOL...*

2009-05-28T20:35:00.004-05:00

Every song, by every band, on every album, from every country, should be available to me to purchase individually on the Internet. No "album only" crap, no songs that aren't available to me because I live in America, no artists that don't want me picking and choosing my favorite songs, no studios not putting obscure artists online because it's not cost effective.

Just give me what I want, and no one will get hurt.

Please, no

2009-05-27T22:59:00.003-05:00

I really hope we're not headed to several years worth of Red Wings-Penguins Stanley Cup Finals. It might be great for the NHL, but I just have no interest in seeing it. Not the first time, not this time, not any future times.