Is it over yet?

Good lord, how many more of these Twilight movies are they going to make?  I'd be way more interested in them if Ashley Greene was the star, and she was running around dressed like this:


Source: Sports Illustrated 2010 Swimsuit issue

But seriously, there was one good Twilight movie.  You can never go wrong with a Reese Witherspoon topless scene.

What's a guy to do?!?!

I know I'm going to regret asking this, but has been boggling my mind for the last couple of months...

Ladies, do you know of any woman who agreed to have sex with a guy after he asked her to? (No details necessary, just a simple yes/no answer will suffice.)

It seems to go against everything I believe to be true about the male-female relationship model. I'm used to working for it. Be a nice guy, do some sweet talking, treat a women right, buy her a few things, and wait for her to be ready.

What's worse, it seems like it's a double-edged sword. If I ask a woman to sleep with me, she may get upset for thinking she's easy. But if I don't, I'd be accused of thinking that woman don't enjoy sex.

Can someone explain to me how this actually works? I mean, I know the best way is to find out for myself and do it. And I got nothing to lose. But just can't make up my mind.

Where's my iPhone?

So, I have a classic 80 GB iPod (6th Gen), a Windows Mobile 6 Samsung SCH-i760 smartphone, and an original 16 GB iPad.

I'm starting hate Apple these days. Mostly becuase I'm responsible for managing them at John Deere, and they keep neglecting the business market in favor of personal consumers. But they'll screwing me over on that side as well.

My cell phone is nearly three years old and up for replacement. But I'm still waiting for Apple to release an iPhone with sufficient hardware capabilities. I want an iPhone that replaces both my cell phone AND my iPod. That means at least 128 GB of storage.

"Dude, just use the cloud." No. Besides the security concerns I have with opening up my data to the outside world, I don't want to PAY to store and access my own data.

"DUDE, YOU BOUGHT AN iPAD!!" That's besides the point. I bought a refurbished, bottom-of-the-line, previous version of Apple's famed tablet device TO REPLACE MY LAPTOP, after the AC adapter port broke on it. The $349 was cheaper than $600-900 for a new laptop, especially when all I'm using it for is Facebook/Twitter/web surfing from my couch or on the road.

So, back to the iPhone thing: I have over 7400 songs on my iPod, taking up 52 GB of disk space. Apple would charge me $100 a year to put all that music (up to 55 GB) in their iCloud. Amazon offers 100 GB at the same yearly rate. Not to mention what a service plan from a cell provider would charge me for streaming all that data (I listen to my iPod about 6-8 hours a day).

I am grandfathered in with Verizon's unlimited data plan, but I'd STILL have to get a newer phone, because the software to use either cloud on my 4+ year old dinosaur WM6 phone doesn't exist.

So, until Steve Jobs and Tim Cook release the type of iPhone I want, I'm not upgrading. I'll use the money I'd save from the cloud for a higher-end, larger capacity, and probably more expensive cell phone/MP3 player, only paying for the single upgrade and the ability to carry one fewer device with me when I leave the house. #WorthIt

What's my age again?

I think I'm 30 going on 20.  Consider this:

• I dress in a T-shirt (long or short sleeve, sometimes both), jeans, and sneakers everyday.
• I enjoy wearing hats.  Baseball caps, winter beanies, Santa hats.  I usually throw one on before leaving the house.
• I think I'm invincible and that I'm going to live forever.
• I'm trying to grow my hair out long, because I've never done it before.
• I listen to my iPod at work and in public (unless I'm hanging out with someone).
• I've been doing more social drinking lately (going to bars or people's houses for a few drinks).
• I like going to and shopping at music and record stores.
• I'm teaching myself to play bass guitar.
• I'm constantly flirting with anything in a skirt (figuratively, not literally).

But you know what?  Life is short.  Why shouldn't I try to make the most of it by enjoying every single moment?

I like this new me.  He's much better than the old me.

Don't hate the player, hate the game

"Some of their rules can be bent, Others can be broken." - Morpheus, The Matrix

Saw this post on Twitter this morning and it got me thinking...

@ericamayer: "----> RT @REALChaseAdams: Don't forget that unlike your regular Klout score, familyKlout starts back at 0 everyday. It can't be gamed."

It took me back to something my friend Greg once told me when we were getting a drink.  He was trying to tell me not to game the system.  I don't remember WHAT system I was trying to game, but I think he was just trying to give me general advice.

That just doesn't work for me.  I've been programmed to try to find a way around the system.  A part of it is the human nature of trying to get the most out of something at the least possible cost.  But I think video games may have been the biggest influence on me on this matter.  You know how it is, learn the patterns, learn the rules, and exploit them.  It's been ingrained into my brain.  I'm constantly trying to figure out how to solve problems, with a combination of tackling and sidestepping them.

I applied myself in college the same way.  After a year, I discovered that I didn't need to be at class every day (not that I had to, since I was going to a state school).  Do the homework, show up to the lecutres a couple days before the test, learn what would be on the test, then study to the last minute, and I'd be fine.  I wasn't looking for a 4.0 anyways, I was happy staying over the 3.0 mark.

I think some of my friends go annoyed by this.  My freshman/fourth year roommate had his nose closer to the grindstone than I.  Putting in more time hitting the books, while I was trying to coast.  Yeah, he got better grades than I (he deserved it), but still.

And his girlfriend, she was CONSTANTLY studying to work on a Pharm.D.  Pages and pages of study notes, lots of tests, lots of work.  During my last year at NDSU, I'd stop by to visit with her and the rest of my friends in her quad, and she'd always be in the living room, pouring herself over all of it.  I'm sure there were a few times she (and her roommates) would want me to leave to they could prepare in peace.

Someday, I'll be able to unplug myself from the Matrix and relax.  Until then, I keep an ever vigil watch on the reality around me, so I can find the next exploit and game the system.

Anybody wanna start a band?

Over the last couple of weeks, me and a friend in Phoenix, AZ are talking about starting a band and moving to Southern California (not necessarily in that order.  She plays guitar, and I've been learning bass for the past six weeks.  We're looking forward to playing with each other, but I'm itching to find some other musicians at my level to jam with until then (and who knows when that would be, our discussions have been VERY preliminary).

I've speculated on how we could put this together.  I know we'll be looking for a drummer, a rhythm guitarist, and a multi-instrumentalist (keyboards, bass, rhythm guitar) who can be the wild card.  Yeah, I know, what do we need with another bassist?  Until I learn my chops, I'd feel better having an experienced bass player around to help me out.  Plus, I'm also picturing myself as lead singer (I'm good at memorizing lyrics), so I may put the bass down for a couple of songs while we perform.

As for how big we'll make it, I'd be happy just being in a bar band.  Playing to patrons on Friday and Saturday nights.  Food, drinks, and some money to invest in my new hobby is all I'd ask for.  Maybe getting to be good enough to be a permanent house band at an establishment (and if we can't do that, I'll BUILD a bar where we can be the house band).

Well, while we wait to see how this plays out, please let me know if you're interested in playing with me.  Because for those about to rock, I salute you.

It's on

So, I've renamed my blog "On the Fritz".  You have to admit, it's a lot catchier than the old name, and a little more appropriate (given how I can be such a Fritz).

There's one problem though.  Someone else is already using that for his blog name.  But he hasn't posted anything in over a year!!

Since he isn't actively blogging, I'm taking the name "On the Fritz".  I'm gonna fight my way up the Google search rankings and overtake him.  If he wants to stay on top, he better get postin'.

And if you're reading this Frederick: it's on.  You best bring your A-game, 'cuz I'm coming out swinging.

You're all a bunch of Nazi, conformist cheerleaders...

I don't know how all you people can watch college football AND criticize the BCS system. Pick one or the other.

You hypocrites sicken me...

Steppin' up to the plate like Jim Thome

It has been a stressful time for those of us in the IT department at Phoenix International. John Deere going through a massive reorganzation. We'll all reporting to new bosses, have new responsibilities, determining who will take over those roles. Lots of fun. But there's one man that hasn't been fazed by all this chaos.

Me.

I'm just as affected by this transition as anyone else. Especially since I've been promoted to an Infrastructure Anaylst, which is Tier 3 support. Determining hardware and software standards across the ENTIRE Deere enterprise. But I'm not getting all bent out of shape over this.

Maybe it's the happy pills. Maybe it's because I just don't care. Maybe it's because I'm just taking things one day at a time. As my new boss continues to stress, my first responsibility is to the unit. I have to keep the day-to-day operations going and provide Tier 2 desktop support to the end-users. And until I get my replacement trained in (and they find a replacement for him), that's my primary role at Deere.

I talked with my current boss late this afternoon, before we left for the day. She's overwhelmed, trying to do her new job and working with my fellow techs' new supervisors to move them into their new roles. There's just not enough time in her day to get through everything.

I, however, am looking pretty free and clear right now. My ticket load is down to the high teens, when it has usually been in the high 20's to low 40's. There are brief moments where I'm looking for something to keep me occupied, then I realize, I should just keep my nose on the grindstone. Continue to work on those old tickets still in my queue. Hack away at my projects. But I don't feel like it's enough. I want to do more.

That's where I want to go into Jim Thome mode. When Justin Morneau was out with a concussion (which kept off the field for the entire second half of the 2010 MLB season), the Minnesota Twins found a way to make it work. Michael Cuddyer came in from right field to play first, Jason Kubel moved out of the DH role and replaced Cuddy, and Jim Thome became the full-time designated hitter.

I told my current boss that I wanted to step up and help out in any way that I could. I have the availability, put me to use. She told me that this shouldn't have to all fall on me, it's supposed to be a team effort.

But isn't this what people DO when they're on a team? Step up to the plate, take a bigger role, carry them to victory? I don't expect to do it all either, I just want a chance.

A chance to come through like Thome. Yeah, I've got a back problem, and I'll probably strike out a few times. But I know I'm going to connect on one of them and just drive it out of the park. And everyone will celebrate. Then we'll get ready for tomorrow's game. It's a long season, and every win we can pick up is gonna help us.

So, put me in coach, I'm ready to play. Today. Look at me, I can be... Center Field.

Top 10 Bassists

Disclaimer: Similiar to my list of top ten drummers, this not a list of the best bassists of all-time, or the best bassists around right now, or anything like that. I am not qualified enough to judge the abilities of every bassist in the history of the world against each other and determine the best. Nor is this a list of the bassists from my favorite bands (though there is a noticeable overlap; half of them are/were a member of one of my top five favorite bands). This is a list of the people I'd pay just to watch them play bass (without the rest of their respective bands) and get some pointers. They are presented in no particular order.

Kelly Ogden, The Dollyrots - One of my more recent favorites, I love her upbeat personality, and the way she has fun with it.
Maya Ford, The Donnas - She's also a pretty good artist, as seen by this Donnas T-shirt.
Mike Dirnt, Green Day - My favorite on this list. Author of one of my favorite Green Day songs, J.A.R. (Jason Andrew Relva).
Scott Shriner, Weezer - A great pick up after Mikey Welsh left Weezer in 2001.
Flea, Red Hot Chili Peppers - Slap-style technique, very cool.
Gene Simmons, Kiss - A tip of the cap to Gene for admitting why he markets the hell out of Kiss. He didn't want his kids to grow up poor like he did. His reality show is pretty good, I enjoy watching it.
Mark Hoppus, blink-182 - I prefer his singing to that of guitarist Tom DeLonge.
Greg K, The Offspring - Dexter and Noodles get all the love, but don't underestimate what Greg brings to the table for this band.
Matt Sharp, Weezer - Did a fantastic job when he was in Weezer.
Emma Anzai, Sick Puppies - The most hardcore (IMO) on this list. Just look at the way she rocks it in their video for "You're Going Down".