You know how bars have free snacks, like peanuts or pretzels? If I ever get my own bar/(bar/(grill/restaurant)), I'm going to serve free sunflower seeds.

I'm addicted to those things. I can't get enough of them. And if I had my own bar, I can eat as many as I wanted to, any time I wanted to. They'd be a business expense, so they wouldn't cost me a thing. Score!

Top ten favorite beverages

In no particular order:

Milk, OJ, Pepsi, grape juice, Budweiser, ice cold water, lemonade, Jagbomb, Coke (from a soda fountain), chocolate milk (self-mixed)

The solution to all of life's problems

You know what my neighborhood needs? A liquor store. Sure, Happy Harry's is only about 2 miles away on 45th Street, but it's rarely along my normal driving routes. And I hate going out of my way for tasty alcoholic beverages.

Come down on the street and dance with me

A big thanks to Rivers Cuomo for unknowingly letting me use one his song lyrics for the title of this post.

You ever seen a shaving commercial? For shaving gel or disposable razors? The guys in those commercials always appear to be shaving with the grain. Now, I do it too. But aren't you supposed to shave against the grain? Tell me about it, 'cuz I'm questioning my own beliefs here.

I can understand not giving idiots who run out onto the playing area at a sporting event the satisfaction of appearing on television, but it's so entertaining when players start beating the hell out of them. Those moments give us some great highlights. Like that time Dick Butkus leveled an idiot at a Bears game. Classic.

Why do they even bother having refs in Pro Wrestling? No one listens to them. They serve no purpose. They can't keep order, especially when more wrestlers join the fracas.

The perfect muffin would be large. Like a half pound or something. Crunchy texture on top, but light and fluffy inside. Sweet and buttery. Warm. And plain. If they make plain muffins... Fruit fillings, like blueberry, are OK if used sparringly. But they usually just get in the way and don't taste so great.

Speaking of which, I just found out that the state muffin of Minnesota is blueberry. Why, oh why, did they need a state muffin? If you're a Minnesotan, you should be ashamed of yourself. Damn kids.

God, they even have a state mushroom. Good lord...

Learn this and other fun facts at Wikipedia. I find it to be a very educational, interesting, and enjoyable site. Learning can be fun. And knowledge is power.

If I threw my unopened bottle of soda out the space shuttle's airlock, what would happen to it? Would it explode open because of the carbon dioxide gas trying to equalize the air pressure on the inside and outside, or explode due to the increase in heat. Would the side of the bottle not facing the sun cool off, like nearly freeze?

Ah, it doesn't matter. I prefer cans. Conversely, beer should be stored in glass bottles. It tastes better, and you'll never know when you need a weapon to defend yourself with in a bar fight.

The person who downloads the 500 millionth iTunes song will win, among other things, 10 iPods. Who came up with this stupid idea? Why would anyone ever need more than 1? Hell, why even give away an iPod at all? If you're buying iTunes, you've probably already got one to begin with. The winner would be better off with $5000 cash. Save him the time from putting them up on eBay.

No need to thank me, I'm just doing my job.

Internet Beer!!

Visit the web site for a beer company, like Budweiser, Miller, or Coors. Notice how you have to put in your birthdate to enter? They're trying to keep out minors. Like how porn sites do (or so I've been told...).

I can understand why they would want to do so. You don't want to advertise to minors, contribute to underage drinking, yadda, yadda.

It seems so damn silly. Any kid who knows how to use the internet should be able to the basic math needed to determine what year they should enter to make them appear old enough to drink. Kids are also quite adept at obtaining alcohol. It can't be THAT much of a deterrent. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Oh, if you're interested, Heineken's Dutch site only asks if you're older than 18. The answer you're looking for is "DA". But don't drink it. It's a vile tasting beer and even worse when warm.

More assorted Super Bowl comments

Halftime show observations:

• What was with that weird violin-looking bass Paul was playing?
  
• OK, who did what exactly in The Beatles? I know Ringo played drums. Paul and John wrote the songs. But what instruments did they and George play?
  
• Does McCartney need to pay royalties to Sony when he plays one of the songs he wrote? What about those he co-wrote with Lennon? Or those written by just Lennon, but recorded and performed by the Beatles?
  
• I always enjoy it when McCartney plays "Hey Jude" live.

Note to Fox: The O.C. did not redefine a generation. Not even close. Don't be making such blatantly outrageous claims about your shows. They're not that good. They borderline suck. And stop overpromoting them. I hate you so much.

I feel sorry for the guy who does the voiceovers for the Fox promoes. Poor, sad bastard.

New England is driving. If they score on this drive, I think it's over.

Cocky Patriots. Doing the "Flying Eagle" dance when they score. This isn't something you expect from such a "modest" team. Now, I kinda really dislike them. It's quite annoying. I'd be downright furious if I was an Eagles fans. If you are, you should be.

Our soldiers don't get enough respect. So many people are anti-military, that they fail to realize that real, flesh and blood human beings, just like themselves, are willing to risk their lives to protect theirs. People die so you can live to bitch about it. So wrong.

Yup, the Eagles try to hit a home run and whiff. The deep McNabb to Pinkston pass was incomplete on 3rd down. Philly had to punt. This game is nearly over. It would be if the 45-yard punt return wasn't called back due to a holding penalty.

Oops. Holding a knife and the cat covered in red sauce. That can't look good. If I was that guy, I'd pray to God that my S.O. believed me.

More monkeys. I like monkeys. Everyone likes monkeys. And if you don't like monkeys, you have no soul.

Oh, if Philly could have gotten to that jump ball and picked it off, they'd be back in it.

When I see a disaster movie, I always wonder how the survivors clean up after facing certain death and overcoming such adversity. And I'm talking those movies where millions die. Like Independence Day.

OK, if Philly goes 76 yards for the touchdown on this drive and stops the Patriots on the next drive, they're back in it.

So, if Freddie Mitchell doesn't catch a ball today, but the Eagles win the Super Bowl, will he be justified in shooting his mouth off? Sure, he did nothing to contribute to the win, but he'll be going to the victory parade and getting a ring. You really can't be feeling too bad about that.

Another Philadelphia first down. They're getting back in this one...

I've always been a fan of using many short passes instead of trying to go big on every single play. Short passes are easier to complete. Short passes use more time on the clock. Short passes allow you to get out of bounds. Even if I sent everyone downfield, I'd be tempted to keep one guy close for an easy dump off in case no one is open downfield.

Touchdown Brian Westbrook!! It's all tied up. Philadelphia is back in this one.

Lockable in-bed trunk on a truck. Genius. Why didn't I think of that?

Mini-celebrities are silly. Especially Shaq and Deion. And no, I don't think it's too much bling.

Is it just me, or does Tom Brady kinda look like Matt Damon? Definitely if they were both wearing football helmets.

New England driving; momentum going back their way...

End of 3. Still tied. Usually it'd be anyone's game, but I think momentum is on New England's favor. They're in a much better position to win this game.

The next 16 yards decide this game.

New England got in the end zone. I think this game is over. Philly has to come straight back and score one to get back in it.

Interesting effect in the Toyota commercial. But not very impressive.

Not as good of a kickoff return for the Eagles this time. Not a good start.

Westbrook stopped for a big loss on the ground. Three and out. A Pats FG clinches it. Philly has to make a big play. Take the ball away. Something.

Budweiser Select, eh? I'll give it a try.

Eagles stop on first down. Looked like more than a 3 yard loss. 19-yard pass to Deion Branch. Penalty on Philly for roughing the passer. Dillon runs inside the 10. The Eagles defense is looking tired. Dillon runs for a first down. New England inside the 5. Fullback stopped at the line of scrimmage. Timeout as Jevon Kearse is on the ground with a leg cramp.

Monkeys again!! And they're kissing the asses of other monkeys!

Back to the game, Brady's pass knocked down. Dillon stopped at the line of scrimmage. Vinateri will come out for a field goal. A decent stop, but I still don't think the Eagles can come back from this. Ten points with less than nine minutes to go.

I hate the Stupid Spoiled Whore Twins. Paris got what see deserved in that South Park episode. It's time for people to see the truth about the World's Dumbest Slut.

My MVP prediction: Deion Branch.

I was in the bathroom during the big pass to T.O.

Well, it doesn't matter now. Donovan threw another pick. Game over.

Philly driving after forcing N.E. to punt. But they're going to have to hurry if they want to get back in this one. And you can't expect T.O. to be open deep on every play.

Hey, Freddie, nice of you to show up!

Anyone ever recover an onside kick in the Super Bowl? Cuz that's what it's going to take for Philadelphia to win.

Why is P. Diddy driving through the desert to an award show, while wearing a tux?

"American Dad" would seem funnier if Patrick Warburton did the voice for the main character.

Touchdown Philly with 1:48 to go. They needed that if they wanted even a sliver of a chance to win this game. But it's too little, too late. Sad.

A TD gives the people who bet on the Over a win.

Onsides kick unsuccessful.

Washington has won 3 Super Bowls? I thought that only had 2. One against Denver and one against Buffalo. Oh, maybe one against Oakland, when Doug Williams was their QB. OK, 3 sounds right. My mistake.

Philly stops the Pats. They'll get the ball back one more time.

96 yards and 46 seconds stand between Philly and any chance of winning. Where's John Elway or Joe Montana when you need them?

Another interception by New England. They've won another Super Bowl. Good for them. I hope it's their last in a long time.

That's it. Time to leave the stadium.

Assorted Super Bowl comments

The new XXX movie. With Ice Cube? Upgrade!

You know, this is what Bill Simmons was talking about. The game decided by a bad coin flip. You don't want to blame the kid, cuz then you feel like such a bastard. But you'd think they'd find a kid who could (or could be taught to) flip a coin.

Nice return on the opening kickoff.

The Bud Light commerical where they're going skydiving, and the dude throws the Bud Light out the plane to get the guy to jump, but the pilot is the one who goes after it. Hilarious. I laughed out loud for 5 minutes. The Anheiser-Busch company can always produce a great ad. They're untouchable.

Good call overturning McNabb's fumble.

P. Diddy showing up to a big award show in a Diet Pepsi truck. Then it becoming the new big trend. Not surprising if that actually happened. And Carson Daly is such a massive tool, that he'd would do it and try to impress P. Diddy. Can't we put him to death yet? Damn.

Vin Diesel in a Disney movie. Now he's officially old news.

Four punts so far. Defensive battle, indeed.

Wow, big play by T.O. and a Patriots penalty on the same play. I think they'll score first. Definitely enough for short field goal range.

Geez, another New England penalty. And they would have taken the ball away. Stupid penalties cost you games.

Rob Scheinder as the "You can do it!" guy in yet another Adam Sandler movie. I don't even think you can call him an actor anymore. Leaving SNL can kill so many careers.

That poor bastard in the Ameriquest commercial. Maced, hit with a bat, then tasered. Ouch. And yet another reason I think cell phone use is out of control. More on that some other time.

You know, a day will come when Super Bowl tickets are so expensive, that you have to wonder if the price includes round-trip airfare.

Another Philly turnover. That can't be good.

Scoreless after one quarter. Hope you didn't take the over (which is 48 for this game, a little high, IMO, but I don't know much about gambling on football, except "always bet against the Vikings"). :)

Funny, I thought a good show like "CSI" was America's #1 show, not some piece of crap like "American Idol". Sorry, I had to take my shot at that one.

P = The Eagles are a passing team. P = True.

Two great catches by Todd Pinkston. Amazing. I go with my original statement. Philly will score first.

And yes, Brian Westbook is a key factor in this game. Playing well so far.

The New England helmets are shiny.

Top 5 Philly guys I'd like to see score a TD: McNabb, Westbrook, Pinkston, T.O., and that construction worker guy.

I wrote that sentence during the play that the Eagles scored their first touchdown.

The running animals. I saw "Budweiser commercial" coming a mile away. Clever, but not particularly funny.

So that's were MC Hammer was...

Apple and Pepsi are giving away 200 million iTunes?!

I always chuckle when I see a guy on the sidelines at a football game sucking down oxygen with a gas mask.

Wait a minute... How the hell did those kids know who MC Hammer was? I think his 15 minutes ended about the same time those kids were born.

The officials are doing a good job with the challenges. And so are the coaches. This instant replay system is excellent.

Good run by Corey Dillon. Good running backs are supposed to make those cuts. That's what they're paid for.

Hee hee. Monkeys. But it's true. We do feel that way some times. That we have to do everything at work. Like we're the only competent employee at our places of employment. But my dad will tell you, he always feels that way, because it's true. He does work with a bunch of idiots (in his opinion, and he's always right... **BARF!**).

Constant thought during the first half: can't wait to see Paul McCartney's old man-boobs. Ha ha ha.

Speaking of boobs, Justin Faggotass should have gotten more flak for that stunt last year. And Janet Jackson less.

Two minute warning.

Another Batman movie. Why? And was that Katie Holmes? I hope she found her boobs. Cuz they've been M.I.A. for a few months.

I don't want to see Dennis Rodman take a bath. That's just wrong on so many levels.

David Givens, that was such a bad idea. Making fun of T.O. after scoring a touchdown. Well, since you no longer have any use for that head of yours (since it does not contain a brain), you won't mind when some Eagles player rips it off.

Another good kickoff return by the Eagles. But penalty. Suck. Anywho, don't be surprised by if they take one back for a TD in this game.

Yup, pretty even game so far. As expected. Halftime!!

To be continued...