Sunday, October 10, 2004

Life's greatest questions?

Is it just me, or does Katie Holmes not have boobs anymore?

Do you think the studio audience at "Jeopardy!" tapings try to answer the questions, just like you or I would when watching it on TV? If so, can the contestants hear them? Or does the audience have to sit there and be quiet? Would security have to escort them out if they did answer questions out loud?

OK, you know how on "Iron Chef", they have Japanese celebrities on as judges and guest commentators? Are these A-list or B-list celebrities in Japan? Is there any way to know? I'm kinda leaning towards B-list. I'm just saying, 'cuz on Iron Chef America, they had that guy who played Gunthar on "Friends", and he's definitely B-list.

You're supposed to keep coffee in the refrigerator? Says who? Since when?

And that can't be the right way to spell "refrigerator"...

Wait a minute, Michelin is a FRENCH company?

OK, who's a member of the Brat Pack? How many are there? Are there certain qualifications? Clarification on this would be great.

Lastly, if you've got something in the oven, wouldn't make more sense to use the oven timer instead of the one on the microwave?

Sunday, October 3, 2004

Did Kevin Smith sell out after "Jersey Girl" or "The Passion of the Clerks"?

Three comments on Kevin Smith's decision to make "The Passion of the Clerks" (AKA "Clerks 2")...

1. I think this makes him more of a sellout that "Jersey Girl" did. Although I really doubt he's in it for the money.

2. Would Shannon Elizabeth appear? As her Justice character? Or will she and Jay have parted ways by then?

3. Plot continuity error: In "Dogma", Jay and Silent Bob collect money to buy bus tickets from New Jersey to Illinois. In "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back", they attempt to board a bus from New Jersey to Los Angeles, only to "discover" that they have to pay for tickets (incorrectly assuming they can ride it for free, like the school bus).

Saturday, September 25, 2004

The force is with me

An assortment of comments, now that I have watched the new "Star Wars" Trilogy DVD Box Set...

1. That CGI Jabba that appears at the Mos Eisley Space Port? Utter crap. It looked so bad. The puppet would have better.

1a. Is it just me, or was that scene unnecessary? Han says the same stuff he told Greedo. Word for word.

2. First time I watched "The Empire Strikes Back" start to finish.

2a. Now I know how the gang got from Point A (Cloud City) to Point B (Tatooine).

3. Placing Hadyen Christensan with the Jedi Masters in the final scene of "Return of the Jedi". Why? There was nothing wrong with that scene. No reason to place him in there. Besides, the "real" Anakin was much more believable. That's who I expect him to look like if he never became Darth Vader. Not the boy he once was. The man he would have been.

4. How long is the time period of the trilogy from start to finish? From the kidnapping of Leia to the final battle over Endor and subsequent celebration. Weeks doesn't seem long enough. Years too long. I like months. But how many? Does this bother anyone else?

5. The Galactic Empire DID NOT use contractors to build the Death Star. Certainly not the second one. They built it themselves. I refer to this exchange between Moff Jerjerrod and Darth Vader:

Moff Jerjerrod: Lord Vader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We are honored by your presence...
Darth Vader: You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I'm here to put you back on schedule.
Moff Jerjerrod: I assure you, Lord Vader. My men are working as fast as they can.
Darth Vader: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
Moff Jerjerrod: I tell you, this station will be operational as planned.
Darth Vader: The Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.
Moff Jerjerrod: But, he asks the impossible. I need more men.
Darth Vader: Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives.
Moff Jerjerrod: The Emperor's coming here?
Darth Vader: That is correct, Commander. And, he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.
Moff Jerjerrod: We shall double our efforts.
Darth Vader: I hope so, Commander, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.

This strongly suggests that the Empire is not using an outside source to construct the massive space station. They MAY have contracted people to build seperate components, and some of those people MAY have been on the Death Star when it was destroyed, but their numbers were maybe one to two hundred, and not thousands.

6. OK, let's assume that C-3PO is gay. Why would Anakin Skywalker build a gay robot? What advantage does a gay robot have over a straight one? And at 9, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, did he even know what homosexuality is?

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

They should really make the "Beverly Hills Cop" movie trilogy into a video game. Especially in a Grand Theft Auto style of play with a Spider-Man 2-esque option of following a linear story or solving random crimes. You've got a great array of characters to choose from. Your main choices would be Det. Foley, Sgt. Rosewood, and Sgt. Taggard. Then there is Lt. Bogomil, Inspector Todd, and Jeffery (Paul Resier). Toss in Michael Tandino, Jenny Summers, and the "First Team" from the first movie, Lutz, his assistant, and Jan from #2, and Hector Elizondo from the third. You've got great baddies too. Victor Matelin and his right-hand man, Thamopolis, that tall blonde, Charles Kain, Maxwell Dent, and Ellis De Wald. And you can't have a BCH game with out Serge. Get real voices, toss in a multiplayer FPS mode, and you've got a gold mine.

Is "Saturday Night Live" ever going to be good again? The show has went downhill since Will Farrell left. And after Jimmy Fallon left, there are no funny reoccuring characters left. The only reason to watch it now is for the guest host. That can't be a good sign for the show.

Side note #1: How are they going to do "Weekend Update" now? Tina Fey by herself? Or put someone in Jimmy Fallon's place?

Side note #2: With Fallon gone, he won't be ruining every sketch by cracking up anymore. I won't miss that.

Ms. Julia Stiles, please stop appearing in chick flicks. You're a beautiful, talented girl, and you're letting it going to waste.

I want to try playing cricket someday. Because I want to see how baseball skills and strategies transfer to that game. Can I still smack the hell out of the ball? Swing for the fences every time? Or do I have to be a slap hitter? What about fielding? Do I want to dive to make plays?

You women don't want nice guys. You want bad asses. Why? A bad ass can act like a nice guy, and get away with it. When a nice guy tries the reverse, he looks like a damn fool. Makes me sick.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Yay, technology!

So, I got a new job doing Tech Support at Phoenix International here in Fargo. And they had a surplus equipment auction the other day. That's where I picked up this sweet Compaq laptop for $50. 200 MHz Pentium Processor, 3 GB hard drive, 128 MB of RAM. The eraser mouse is screwy. There's no Ethernet or USB adapter. Other than that, it's in good condition.

I plan to drop a wireless network and a USB card into it, then use it so I can surf the Internet and blog while I watch TV without having to get off my ass and go into the other room.

Technology is a beautiful thing...

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Take me out to the ballgame

OK, it's Labor Day, which can mean only one thing: September pennant races. So, here are the twenty important baseball stories (IMO) going into the final weeks of the season.

1. The Yankees dynasty is starting to crumble. There are cracks in the foundation. Pitching problems. Kevin Brown threw a tantrum and broke his hand, he's out for the rest of the season. Relievers are amassing too many innings and may not have anything left in the tank in October. Clemens is gone. David Wells is too. Sorry, but the Moose can't carry that rotation to victory by himself.

2. Also, the Yankees are assholes. Asking for a forfeit when Hurricane Frances came through Florida, preventing the Devil Rays from coming up for the first of a scheduled doubleheader. Surprisingly, Bud Selig made a correct decision, not giving the Yanks a win by forfeit, saying that the pennant race should be decided by what happens on the field. Even more surprising, Satanbrenner and Torre weren't the ones bitching about it.

3. Hooray for Boston! On August 15th, they were 10.5 back of New York. After today, that lead has been cut back to 2.5. I really hope they win the division. And I really, really, REALLY hope the Yankess don't make it to the playoffs.

4. One last remark on the AL East, there's a good chance the finishing order will be different for the first time since 1998. In each of the last six seasons, it's finished New York, Boston, Toronto, Baltimore, and Tampa Bay.

5. The Twins had a close call for the AL Central race. On August 14th, the Indians were only one game back. Now, they're 10 back and in 3rd. Chicago is in 2nd and 7.5 back.

6. Speaking of Chicago, injuries killed them. Not having Frank Thomas and Magglio Ordonez crippled their offense. And I was worried about Freddie Garcia. Heh.

7. The Indians are good. If they can pick up a pitcher or two in the offseason, and hit the same way next year as they're doing this year... The Indians of the mid-to-late 90's will be back. And will challenge the Twins for the Central.

8. Can Johan Santana will the AL Cy Young award? I think so. 16 Wins (3rd in AL), 2.95 ERA (2nd), and 224 K's (1st). He'll have to win the remainer of his starts or finish with 20 wins to be considered the top candidate.

9. I can live with not having Joe Mauer for the rest of the season if that means his knee problems won't end his career before it starts. We gave up a damn good catcher in A.J. Pierzynski. I don't want to lose another one. Especially a local kid. Who the Twins are depending on being the catcher for the next 10-15 years.

10. Hot race out West. Not as close as it once was. But I want to see Oakland, Anaheim, and Texas go into the last weekend of the season with a chance that any one of them could win the division.

11. I'm more interested in Ichiro's quest for the single-season hits record than Bonds' quest for 73 HR's in 2001. Ichiro needs 31 hits in 25 games to tie George Sisler's record of 257. Side note: I resented Ichiro in his first season, because Seattle's offense was so hot. He set the table for guys like Bret Boone and Edgar Martinez to drive him in. Give up a hit to Ichiro to lead off the game, and Seattle would be up by 3 after the first inning. Seattle beat Minnesota 8 of 9 times in 2001 because of that.

12. The Braves just won't die. They're well on their way to an insane 13th consecutive division title. And it's been this way for the last 3 seasons. Everyone picked Philly or Florida to win the division, but Atlanta just keeps finding ways to win.

13. Let's all hope that the Expos find a new home for 2005. I like D.C. as a choice. New natural rivalry with Baltimore, and opens a Philly-Toronto rivalry ('93 World Series). Doesn't mess with divisional alignments. Also helps if MLB wants 15 teams in both the AL and NL, instead of this 14/16 crap.

14. The Cardinals are running away with the NL Central. Who knew? The Cubs and Astros were the favorites. Sick. I think they're the team to beat this year.

15. Bonds is hurting the Giants. This whole "won't play a day game after a night game" crap is costing them in the standings. And that is the big reason why he SHOULD NOT be the NL MVP. Give it to someone more deserving. And less of a total asshole. I hate him.

16. The Marlins and Astros have gotten back into the NL Wild Card race. Good for them. They need some good luck after all the crap they went through this season.

17. Unfortunately, Hurricane Frances could ruin the playoff hopes for either the Cubs or the Marlins, or maybe both. They really don't have time to make up the games. And if they need to play a doubleheader one day after the season ends to determine the Wild Card team, they might not make it out of the first round.

18. Only three teams mathematically out of the race. Seattle, Arizona, and Kansas City. One more loss, and Toronto is gone. They're starting to drop like flies.

19. OK, here's how I want the playoffs to finish. Divisional Series: Twins beat the Yankees. Oakland defeats Boston. St. Louis over Los Angeles. Cubs take out the Braves. League Championship Series: Twins and Cubs. Minnesota wins the World Series.

20. Here's how it probably will finish. Divisional Series: Twins beat the Yankees. Boston over Oakland. Braves defeat the Cubs. St. Louis over Los Angeles. League Championship Series: Boston and St. Louis win. St. Louis are the 2004 World Series Champions.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Why, oh why, did they make "Tremors 4"? And it takes place in the Old West!! It hurts my brain just to contemplate it. I know Michael Gross needs work, but come on!!

When is "Ed, Edd n Eddy" coming to DVD? And will the episodes come in random order (like PPG) or sequential order?

I don't think I could ever give up my land phone line. Here's why. First, an answering machine is just a one-time payment for usage. Voice mail usually costs a monthly subscription fee. You can get an answering machine for less than $20, while voice mail can costs like $3/month. Second, I can make unlimited, anytime local calls on a land line. Most cell phones limit how much you can talk without billing you extra. Some newer plans give you unlimited nighttime and weekend talk time, but what about the daytime and early evenings, when I want to call people? Third, if you change providers, you can keep the land line phone you have. Usually, you have to buy a new cell phone.

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. The Dude on their recent marriage.

I hope the AL West race will go down to the wire. Anaheim, Texas, and Oakland within 2 games of each other with a week left in the season. That'd be fun to watch.

Friday, August 20, 2004

Some updates on my thoughts from the previous post...



According to the "That 70s Show" Episode Guide on TV Tome, Eric and Donna made love in Episode 41 (Season 2), then broke up in Episode 76 (Season 3 Finale). Donna got together with Kasey Kelso (Michael's brother) in Episode 92 (Season 4), then Kasey dumps her in Episode 103 (Season 4 Finale). Eric and Donna got back together in the Season 5 Premier.

As for Kelso and his van, I believe he lost it in Episode 61 (Season 3). Leo gives Hyde the El Camino in Episode 65 (Season 3). Michael gets a NEW van in a radio contest in Episode 80 (Season 4).

The website above will give you the basic plot lines for all 6 seasons so far. Also, Season 1 of "That 70s Show" is coming to DVD this October.



The Twins were 2 outs away from sweeping the Yankees. They came back from being down 9-3 in the bottom of the 7th to take a 10-9 lead going into the 9th. Joe Nathan gave up 4 runs and blew the save.

I watched as the Twins started scoring runs in the bottom of that 7th inning, and was getting very excited at the prospect of a sweep of the Yankees, a team they hadn't beat in the regular season in 2 years, and only once in the last 17 games. Not to mention New York beating them in the playoffs.

I was disappointed in the result, but I didn't blame Nathan. I just wanted to give the bully a well-deserved stomach punch. Then maybe watch Joe Torre or, even better, Satanbrenner, blow up about the outcome.

The Twins won the first game in a home series with the Indians, and are currently 5 games ahead of the Tribe. A sweep should open the lead significantly and take the wind out of Cleveland's sails.



AC/DC does not have a Greatest Hits album, but a very extensive collection. It's currently not worth my time to search for the songs I like.



It turns out that I was both right and wrong about differences between the rules for Olympic Gymnastics during the 1996 Atlanta and 2004 Athens games.

--I thought that the women competed on 5 apparatuses (apparati?). Turns out it was only 4. I thought they did Rings too, but no. That never changed.

--The scoring did. In Atlanta, you picked 6 people to compete per apparatus, throw out the lowest score. That didn't happen in Athens. You picked 3 people to compete, and all the scores counted.

--In Atlanta, it would appear that there was a compulsatory (required) routine and a optional routine. Both counted towards the team score. Now there is no compulsatory portion.

--Team sizes shrank from 7 to 6.

--The maimxum number of competitors a team sent to the Individual All-Around competetion shrank from 3 to 2.

--You got 2 vaults in Atlanta and Sydney. The lower score was discarded. You only get 1 in Athens (or Paul Hamm would have gotten rid of the one where he fell on his ass if they did).

Any questions you may have about the 1996, 2000, or 2004 Games, or anything else, could be answered at the offical website for USA Gymnastics. (Side note: site is kinda sloppy; they could use a better webmaster)

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

I don't think AC/DC has a greatest hits album. And that kinda sucks. I like quite a few of their songs, but to find them, I'd have to go through their entire library of albums. And instead of buying one CD with those hits, I'd have to purchase several.

Does anyone know the plotline to "That 70's Show"? Like, what order the episodes go in and what events happen when (relatively). Example 1: Kelso lost his van in the lake. Then Hyde got the El Camino. But how did Kelso and Donna get to California? It seems to me that they took Kelso's van. Example 2: Did Eric and Donna consummate their relationship before or after she went out with Kelso's brother?

The Twins beat the Yankees. Twice. Woot. In danger of watching their lead over the Tribe disappear on Sunday, the Twins have managed to open it back up to 4 1/2. The Indians are too good. I didn't expect them to make a run for the division crown this year. And until Minnesota's lead is safe (8-10 games), I won't be comfortable with Cleveland in our rear view mirror.

Side note: Doug Mientkiewicz at second base. Why the hell didn't we think of that?

My favorite character on CSI is Greg.

If you're going to sit down and play multiple Mega Man NES games, play them in order. There are some things you can do in the later installments that you can't do in the earlier ones. Like trying to slide in MM2. Not possible. Or power-up the regular weapon in MM3. And for the love of God, do not play the versions found on the Anniversary Collection. Those boneheads at Capcom farmed the work out to another developer, and they fucked it up to hell. The shoot and jump buttons switched around. Using BINK on a console. Slow menu controls. The disc sucks ass. Don't buy it, don't rent it, don't play it, and don't give it any undeserved praise.

Cal Ripken Jr. and the Osbourne Kids in a Radio Shack commercial. WTF?

You know, I thought I understood how team all-around gymnastics worked in the Olympics from watching the Atlanta games, but seeing it on TV this year, I'm confused. Can someone explain it to me?

Lastly: this bear is freakin' awesome.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

I was driving in Fargo on Saturday afternoon, when I came to a stoplight, and some guy with a Harley pulled up beside me. I had my window down, so I told him that I liked it. And I meant it. I'm not a motorcycle guy, but I was really impressed by that shiny bike. If I ever got a motorcycle, I'd want one just like that.

Girls can pull off the whole Goth thing a whole lot better than guys can.

Dr. Angus is dumb. What with his fake quasi-German accent? And having a helicopter? Honestly, those commercials are so bad, I'm almost ashamed to say that I like Burger King.

How does a nerdy accountant type like John Clayton become a top football analyst for ESPN, the #1 sports network in the world? He looks like a guy who should be doing your taxes or sitting in front of a computer. He looks like an atypical football fan. I just don't get it.

I just realized something the other day. Star Trek, or any of its spinoffs, never did a clip show. How weird is that? Every mildly successful TV show does at least one during its run. Heck, "Clerks" (the animated series) did one as its SECOND episode. And clip shows are not tough to do. They require a lot less writing. Just some weak story to tie the clips together.

I've been able to coax a few of my friends into playing in a fantasy football league. It'll give me an excuse to get into football, which I really haven't been able to do since the Broncos won their two Super Bowls and Elway retired.
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