Sunday, March 22, 2009

Out here in the field

If I was a closer in the major leagues, I'd want to come out to the mound in the ninth inning to The Who's "Baba O'Riley".

I'd want the entire stadium to go dark for the intro. When the piano comes in, a video highlight reel of me pitching comes up on the Jumbotron, and a single spotlight (or possibly more) would shine down on the entrance to the bullpen (NOTE: this would only really work at a place where the bullpen is behind the outfield fence, like Dodger Stadium or Busch Stadium).

Then, as the drums join in, I emerge from the bullpen and start walking towards the mound. The spotlight follows me until I arrive, then the stadium lights come back on and I start throwing my warm up pitches.

How AWESOME would that be? To be in the stands and see that? Full of awe. Maybe even get goosebumps as the music increases in its intensity. It'd be a little nerve-wracking at first, since the stadium lights would be going out. There may even be a bit of panic. But once you've heard about it, seen it on TV a couple of times, you'd want to be there in person.

And how pissed off would the opponents be, coming up to bat in the top of the ninth, trying to score a couple of runs on me to tie the game or take the lead? Wouldn't you be fuming if you were the visiting team? Especially if you were due up? You'd want to swing with all your power and crush the ball, in hopes of embarassing me. That's the beauty of it; I'd be inside your head with my cocky entrance. I would have already won at that point because you'd be off your game. Not playing the way you normally would.

It'd be a thing of beauty. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to start getting ready for the majors, so I can make this dream come true...

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Problem... SOLUTION!!

Got a problem with those massive AIG bonuses? Here's what you do: cancel ALL your policies with AIG (if you have any). Switch to a different insurance company. There's plenty of options out there.

What is this going to fix? If they lose an asston of customers within the next year, then the dickheads who work at AIG won't meet their quotas, and they don't get their bonuses AT ALL!!

Brilliant, is it not?

Friday, March 20, 2009

You know how bars have free snacks, like peanuts or pretzels? If I ever get my own bar/(bar/(grill/restaurant)), I'm going to serve free sunflower seeds.

I'm addicted to those things. I can't get enough of them. And if I had my own bar, I can eat as many as I wanted to, any time I wanted to. They'd be a business expense, so they wouldn't cost me a thing. Score!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

In the House

Well, we're in the home stretch now. The last 6-8 episodes of Season 5. In my opinion, it's been some of the best stuff ever. But I still have some questions about which of the House guests will be staying...

Where is Wilson? He's been greatly missed this year. Even after he came back to PPTH, his on-screen appearances have been few and far between. The House/Wilson dynamic is one of the best parts of the show, especially episodes 4 and 5 where James takes Greg to his father's funeral, then returns to Princeton. We need more of that!

What about the ducklings? Foreman is still a part of the team, so no major concern there. Chase is the go-to surgeon, basically taking over a generic role. Cameron... where is she? Too many episodes with her absent! She's being wasted away down in the ER. And Omar, Jesse, and Jennifer are still listed in the main credits. How much longer are they going to be around? It's not that I don't like the new staff; I love them. I just miss the old crew.

Speaking of, why is everyone leaving or being fired? First, Thirteen for missing the diagnosis on her one-night stand, then Foreman for choosing to stay with Thirteen, then House after he went on methadone, and finally Taub last night when he wanted to go work for his "friend" from high school. Doesn't anyone love their job anymore?

And why haven't they updated the opening credits yet? Why are Olivia, Kal, and Peter still listed under "Also Starring"? They've been on the show for a year now (1.5 if you count the games at the beginning of season 4 to whittle the field of 40 to those 3). Shouldn't they get equal billing at this point? We see more of them than the Mod Squad.

Lastly, what happened to Lucas, P.I.? He fell off the face of the earth after Wilson returned. Weren't they going to do a spinoff with him? That's what the rumors on the Internet said. He was an OK guy; he had an interesting, yet fresh relation to the entire cast. I wouldn't mind seeing him make occasional appearances on the show.

I'd give the writers and producers two months to figure it all out, but they've probably wrapped up filming for the year. Or maybe they've gotten it all written down and won't make any further changes. I'm interested in how it plays out, as long as they don't make it any more confusing than it already is.
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