Friday, December 9, 2005

Damn biased media.

It snows and blizzards in North Dakota, only the locals pay attention. Ice, wind, death, cold, blackouts. Nobody else cares.

It snows and blizzards anywhere else in the US (not the Upper Midwest), it's the top story on the national evening news. Same look, same weather, same exact results. Total garbage.

You people would have nothing without us. NO-THING.

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

The most fun I have ever had

This game is the most addictive, most entertaining, most intense, hardest, riotest, scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs, funniest, most painful, most rewarding game of your life. If I were an Editor at EGM, I'd give it a 12 out of 10, game of the millenium, Gold++++ Medal.

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law - Stop That Sandwich!

The goal? Beat the crap out of your co-workers in an effort to maintain possession of the last egg salad sandwich in the office.

The only thing that would make it better - multiplayer mode. And putting it on a console.

Playing this game must be what pure ecstacy is like.

Update 12/8/05: My high score is 266,663,195.

Monday, December 5, 2005

You know what I find annoying?

Besides that.

And that.

And that.

And her.

Referring to a celebrity couple with a "word" that is a combination of their names.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Warning!! Political Content!!

I think it's disgusting that a single issue is being used to decide whether someone is worthy enough to hold one of this country's highest judicial positions.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

More like iLooneyTunes

How does Apple come up with some of this stuff?

They got this "Just for You" beta. Based on past iTunes purchases and CD's in your collection, they recommend other songs on iTunes. So, I've been playing with it off and on. Based on the fact that I own Bringing Down the Horse by the Wallflowers, they suggest Demon Days from the Gorillaz. Why? Because the first 6 bits of each song are identical?

Even zanier, they've got Celebrity Playlists. Some musician or movie star has a short list of songs they like. Issac Hayes has one. But he picked 10 of his own songs!! In a list of 18. You'd think someone would have said something.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Well, I know you can't work in fast food all your life...

I try to be extremely cautious using the term "sell out". Others use the term very loosely. It refers to when a band changes its style, sound, image, etc. that attracts new fans, makes them a ton of money, launches them to mainstream media, and alienates original/hardcore followers.

I know what to look for, but who am I to judge (that's right, labeling someone a "sell out" is a judgement call and prone to human emotions and fallacies) which bands are sell outs and which ones stumbled into success when they chose a new direction to take their music in.

However, I do feel confident pointing out some of the more obvious ones...

Carlos Santana has been around for nearly 30 years. A guitar legend. But a single duet with Rob Thomas wins him 9 grammies, and he uses the "duets with other musicians" strategery on his next two albums.

It gets worse. Santana's just a speck of dirt compared to the mud clump that is Smashmouth. They spun their first hit "Walkin' on the Sun" into a career of whoring themselves out for any and all commercial promotions and financial gain. A cover of "Can't Get Enough of You, Baby" for "Can't Hardly Wait". A cover of "I'm a Believer" for "Shrek". No originality there. Give them a song and a fistful of dollars, and they'll do it.

But the worst offender? Destiny's Child. I don't believe for one second that they eat at McDonald's or shop at Wal-Mart. No way. And I think still appearing in commercials together is a total sham. They aren't together anymore. And I doubt that Beyonce is hard up enough for money to show up in a few spots. She has Jay-Z.

Fin.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

Worth every penny

20 GB Fourth Generation iPod: $300
FM Transmitter: $40
Car charger: $40
Translucent silicone jacket: $20
iPod repair charges: $32

Getting back a shiny new iPod from Apple: priceless

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Jackpot!!

I'm gonna go buy me a lottery ticket...

I've been trying to play this game for a little while, but I never thought I'd do this.

Thank you Lord!!

The gods have answered my prayers...

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Go team!

If you're an NDSU student or alumnus, visit NDSU Bison Hockey. Support the developing hockey program. Go to a game, or 12. Tell all your friends. Shout it from the rooftops. Stand outside someone's house with a boombox over your head.

If you have no affiliation with North Dakota State, you may ignore this post.

If you're a UND supporter, FUCK OFF!!

That one decision

Travis has been spreading the seeds of doubt, even from 1500+ miles away.

Several of his acquaintances have been comtemplating that one decision that changed their lives forever, and whether they'd make the same choice again. Like his sister and his friend Bianca.

As a frequent reader of his web site and the blogs he hosts, I saw these posts earlier in the week and thought about it. Have I really made any decision that affected my life in a momentous way? Decisions I regreted? I moved out the Marshall Islands when I was 15. Not my choice. Going to NDSU? Well, there were some things I didn't like about that, but I'd say I'm pretty much happy with that selection. Back surgery? I do wish I had that one back, but see previous statement about that. Job-related? No, I liked my previous jobs, even though none of them have turned out to be permanent yet.

There were many, MANY small-to-medium decisions I always find myself regretting. But none of them life-altering.

Oddly enough, Spike TV is airing the episode of Star Trek TNG where Picard's old archeology professor wants him to leave the Enterprise to go on a quest to make the biggest discovery ever. Picard reflects on his decision to explore space and become a starship captain over an archeologist. Picard did not regret this decision, but he did feel bad for having to say no to his mentor.

Then I thought of it. That one decision I wish I could have back.

Her name is Carrie.

I let a stupid little thing like religion and parental approval keep us apart. She's Mormon; I'm not. Maybe our parents would have given their permission. My folks liked her. Her mom liked me (I never got a clear signal either way from her dad). I think we would have had their support. But I was too scared. If anyone objected, it probably would have been my dad. He's not too fond of Mormons in general. And I didn't want to lose his support.

So, we never got together. She went off and married some other guy. Swell guy, I hear.

And I continue to be miserable. And believe that I will be until I do find someone. And she'd have to be pretty damn special to make me end the regret.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Last night, I had a disturbing dream. But not disturbing in the traditional sense.

It all started when I walked out of Old Chicago on a warm summer afternoon. Across the parking lot, there was Steph, in business attire. Black suit coat and skirt down to the top of her knee. Deep teal button-down blouse. Black heels. And seven months pregnant with a mischievous grin on her face.

Rewind. Steph and I have known each other since freshman year at NDSU, but grew close when she started dragging me to watch her drummer boyfriend's band play in area bars. We must have went out watch them at least 10 times, starting in Nov. '02, before he was arrested for failing to register as a sex offender less than a year later. Shortly after that, she dumped him. Then I thought that it was my opportunity to move in, but I shouldn't have picked that moment when I was drunk in Old Chicago to make my move. We continued to hang out, but mostly at Co-Ed Intramural Hockey. By the end of that school year, Steph wasn't returning any of my calls.

Due to the way that I was treated, I felt the best thing was to cut all ties with her and move on. I caught myself thinking about her sometimes, but resisted all urges to reconnect. And I didn't see her again until our friends Paul and Nikki got married this June.

So, in the dream, Steph was treating me nice. She wanted to get on my good side again. But she didn't want to be friends again for the sake of patching things up. She didn't want me. She wanted my money or possessions or something. She wanted to use me for her own personal gain. Even tried to convince me the child was mine, when we both knew this to be false. I saw right through her. And I still wanted no part of it.

Normally, that'd be the end of it. But here's the disturbing part. Once I thought about that dream at work today, I couldn't stop thinking about it. About how the dream could be some kind of omen. How I was maybe unfair to Steph. How we should maybe go back to being friends. How I might still have feelings for her. How I want to call her. Imagining possible hypothetic situations where I might run into her, like at McDonald's on my lunch break or tonight's NDSU Men's Hockey Game .

And this just seems like a horrible idea. I have to keep talking myself out of doing exactly that. I don't want to go crawling back to her and seem even more pathetic that I already am.

I really wish I had someone to talk to about this. Travis is in Texas now. Vern's in St. Cloud. Paul and Nikki are mutual friends, but I don't know if I can talk to one of them about this without it getting back to Steph and making things worse. Maxwell would laugh at me. I could ask Lyn, but she's busy with her new daughter.

So, I blog. And fret.

As I wrote this, I was listening to U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday", a song with which I will always associate with this dilemma from now on.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

You could have prevented this, Jared

Three bad choices made in the past year by my local Subway shops:

1. The switch from Pepsi products to Coke products. Although I can't tell the difference between both colas when they come out of a fountain. Coke is usually associated with your standard fast food places, like McDonald's, Burger King, or Wendy's. Pepsi was found at your more non-traditional eateries, like KFC, Pizza Hut, or Taco Bell. Subway has nothing to do with normal fast-food fare, and in fact, bills it self as a total 180.

2. No more Cheddar Cheese. I'm not usually a fan of cheese on my sandwiches to begin with, I do like my Subway Melt with Cheddar. Without it, the sandwich does doesn't look right. The color contrast was perfectly appetizing. Now, the only choices are American, Swiss, or Pepper Jack. All white. Not so mouth-watering.

3. Goodbye Subway cards. I always got to have a footlong sandwich and soda when I go to Subway. Sure, I have to shell out nearly $8 per visit, but earning stamps so that 9th footlong was free made it worth it.

With these changes, I don't think I'm going to Subway anymore. And I had spent the last year and a half growing to like them. Sad.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

That's gold, Jerry, GOLD!!

So, for those of you who participate in such activities as clay pigeon shooting or skeet shooting, Amazon.com has just made targets available for purchase on their web site. Seriously, why does such a thing exist? A true 'NSync Greatest Hits album would consist of a single track with 80 full minutes of silence. And if the other four non-famous members really needed the money, they should just have returned to their previous jobs as fast food workers.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Is that legal?

An entire episode of CSI, no Grissom, no Brass.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies." - Capt. Zapp Brannigan

Saturday, October 8, 2005

A million and one comments

Well, it's been a while since I've done this, so let's get started...

The NHL is back. And I really don't care. It doesn't look like Dallas is going to have much of a chance this year. And since I don't get OLN in Fargo, I won't see a televised hockey game until January. It's almost like hockey is non-existent.

The Who are freakin' awesome. A great classic rock band. I have to delve deeper into that genre of music someday.

I've sure you've all seen the signs (#1 and #2). The apocalypse approaches. Beg for your god(s) forgiveness. The end is coming.

PHP is an amazing language.

Sometimes I wonder why I should ever be on-call at work. No one ever calls me.

I think I've become so bored with the original CSI, I might start watching the Miami spin-off. And yes, that might make me a hypocrite.

For a few days there, I was thinking of taking my blog in a more personal direction and talking more about my day-to-day experiences. Then I realized that I don't do anything.

I'm so glad the baseball season is over. It was one of the most painful ever. Totally sucked. A complete write up in the coming weeks. Or months. Or years. Whatever.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Sad songs say so much

This is dedicated to Travis.

My friend drove off the other day
And now he's gone and all they say
Is you gotta live 'cause life goes on

But now I see I'm mortal too
And I can't live my life like you
You gotta live it up while life goes on

And I think it's alright
That I do what I like
'Cause that's the way I wanna live
It's how I give
And I'm still giving

Now I wonder 'bout my friend
If he gave all he could give
'Cause he lived his life like I live mine

If you could see inside my head
Then you'd start to understand
The things I value with my heart

And I think it's alright
That I do what I like
'Cause that's the way I wanna live
It's how I give
And I'm still giving

You know that
I know that
You're watching me

And I think it's alright
That I do what I like
'Cause that's the way I wanna live
It's how I give
And I'm still giving

Gotta make a plan
Gotta do what's right
Can't run around in circles
If you wanna build a life
And I don't wanna make a plan
For a day far away
While I'm young and while I'm able
All I wanna do is...


- J.A.R. (Jason Andrew Relva) by Green Day

Thursday, September 8, 2005

Cleanin' house

Here are the eight songs I listened to when I was cleaning the house this evening:

1. Puddle of Mudd - She Hates Me
2. Queen - Another One Bites the Dust
3. Days of the New - Touch, Peel and Stand
4. Aerosmith - Cryin'
5. Hootie & the Blowfish - Running from an Angel
6. John Lee Hooker - Mama, You Got a Daughter
7. Switchfoot - The Beautiful Letdown
8. Tracy Bonham - Behind Every Good Woman

Many apologies to Travis, unless that bastard accuses me of stealing his idea. :)

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Story time!!

I have no idea why I starting thinking about this tonight. But I did. And I wanted to write about it.

During the spring semester of my last year of high school, the Parent-Teacher Organization (PTO) decided to hold a Knowledge Bowl. Two levels, grades 7 & 8 and grades 9-12. Participants would be broken into groups of 3. A series of preliminary matches (2 teams head-to-head, 3 minute matches) would pit the two highest scoring teams against each other in the final. Scoring was +20 for a correct answer, -25 for a wrong answer.

But here was the best part. The Knowledge Bowl organizers, whom were also high-ranking officers in the PTO, rigged the teams. They put their own kids on teams, together. Giving them an unfair advantage against the rest of the field. One stacked team at each level was supposed to waltz to the Championship. Kind of like the New York Yankees.

Even better than that. The organizers stated that the purpose of the Knowledge Bowl was to create an arena of academic competition. Give the non-athletes a chance to face off, show their stuff, and win something. Sports were huge at my school. Athletes were at the top of the social ladder. These ringers were not athletic. Not even close. They didn't go out for any teams. And it's not like there wasn't room for them. In some sports, we'd go four squads deep to let everyone who tried out participate. These ringers were one-dimensional. They were smart, and that's about it.

Being wise to the whole thing, and maybe a little paranoid, I openly accused the organizers of rigging the whole thing. I doubt anyone listened. But I was damn right about that. Too many coincidences. The team designations were not decided by random chance.

And it almost worked.

I didn't pay much attention to Junior High competition. The ringer team won. I was too anxious to care, really. I wanted my crack at the stage.

At the high school level, there were 8 teams. I was captain of Team H, consisting of myself, Joel Martinez, and Spencer Mawhar. We were pulling answers out of our asses and nailing the questions. We scored the most points of any team in the first round with 480. Top seed. Our opponent for the final? That's right, the ringers. Dave Bellknap (Team captain, fellow senior, friend, and beneficiary of the "randomly decided teams"), Veronica Jensen (junior ringer), and Sean Cummings (freshman ringer).

We did not get off to a hot start in the final. We missed a few questions early in the round, and our opponents took advantage and moved out to a big lead. But we fought back. Pulled in close. I tried to keep a mental tally of the score as the round progressed, but I was a little too nervous to keep track. Then that next question came. In fact, it was the last question. The bell indicating the end of the round rang about 3 words into the question. What amendment established the separation of church and state? As soon as heard those last three words, I buzzed in. Answered "the first amendment." The round was over. I shot out of my chair immediately, dancing in place like I had to go to the bathroom, waiting the hear the results.

200 to 195. That last correct answer gave us the Championship.

Not only had we won the Knowledge Bowl, but we foiled the organizers' attempts to rig the whole thing and give the win to their kids.

A few weeks later at the year-end academic award ceremony, I went on stage to get my Knowledge Bowl trophy and raised it high above my head. I talked smack to everyone who lost. Even more to those who didn't participate (one of which turned out to be our valedictorian). And I gladly spent my $25 Amazon.com gift certificate on music, not books.

Sadly enough, they never held another Knowledge Bowl. I would have like to seen my teammates Joel and Spencer go back and win a second one. But I guess that's what happens when you beat the system.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

You're welcome

Dear Pepsi,

According to this article on Wikipedia, Pepsi outsells Coke in my home state of North Dakota. I think we all know why. You're welcome.

Now gimme some damn Pepsi!!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Survival of the species

OK, when someone is being convinced to donate a kidney or lung, one of the arguments made to the potential donor is "You can live with one". And it's true. But if humans can only live with one kidney or lung, then why do we have two? Evolution. If we didn't need two kidneys, then we wouldn't have two kidneys. I'm just sayin'...

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

OK, there's this new movie where Reese Witherspoon haunts this really cool apartment this guy moved into. And Napoleon Dynamite is in it too. Seems really silly. But it looks good. Like great date movie good.

If you're a professional athlete, is it OK to ask teammates or fellow athletes in your league for autographs? Or is this a taboo?

Is it just me, or are everyone's eyes uneven? Like one is slighty higher on the face than the other. I've been noticing that a lot lately. Well, on television...

They say "Don't wear white after Labor Day". Okay. When does it become acceptable to wear white again?

The range of human hearing is between 20 Hz and 20,000 Hz, on average. So, let's say, hypothetically, the range was really 20 Hz and 20 million Hz. Would we be able to hear AM radio signals being broadcast at say, 850 KHz? In real time? Of course, we'd be able to hear everything below that, which would be a lot of noise, static, and other frequencies...

Saturday, August 20, 2005

One step closer

I didn't believe it when I saw it. But it's true. The U.S. Men's National Soccer Team is ranked #6 in the world. And they're just two points back of Mexico for 5th. A win against them in Columbus on Sept. 3rd would be enough to leap ahead of them, not to mention qualify them for the 2006 World Cup in Germany. For more info, read this.

I remember watching a TV report around the 1998 World Cup that US Soccer had set 2010 as the goal for winning the World Cup. I truly believe that this is a very attainable goal. Now, we're one step closer.

If the world can beat us at our own games, we can surely beat them at theirs. U. S. A.

If only

I would think that America would be smarter and better off if instead of having tabloids, celebrity gossip magazines like People and US Weekly, and the TV Guide at supermarket checkouts, we'd have more intelligent things, like Time, Newsweek, and US News and World Report.

Riddle me this...

Would it be possible to track Superman via GPS? Assuming, of course, you could trick him into carrying it.

Liz Hurley is 40? No f'ing way.

Who's the idiot who keeps allowing Rob Schneider to make movies? Or the idiot who letting him appear in movies? How about the ones who keep going to his movies?

So, they made a Swiffer for carpets, huh? Why am I not surprised? Next up: a Swiffer for mowing the lawn.

Was that Julia Roberts in the new Dave Matthews Band video?

OK, you've seen Good Will Hunting, right? You notice how the professor's assistant gets all green-eyed when he takes Matt Damon under his wing? Please don't tell me that I'm the only one who saw that. Probably they didn't explore that angle further in the movie, it would have made things a bit complicated.

Also notice that this movie was about the point where Ben started going on the decline and Matt started rising?

Why is it so freakin' difficult to do anything in Linux? I mean, really. If you high-and-mighty anti-Microsoft open source lovers really want to ween us away from Lord Bill, you'd make your damn programs easier to install and configure. And consolidation wouldn't hurt you too much, either.

How could I forget to put Sarah Chalke from "Scrubs" on my list? What was I thinking?

Once I get inside your head, I'm not leaving. Or should that be the other way around...?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Moral dilemma

OK, so I'm returning a video game to the rental place. In the parking lot, there's this light gray Dodge Intrepid. It's for sale. Phone number is written on the window in soap or whatever. Well, the car is parked at the end of the row, but on the outside of the yellow lines. He's not in a designated space. And blocking the normal flow of traffic.

Now, I'm the kind of person who is fairly good at memorizing long strings of numbers...

So, would it be wrong to call this guy and say, "Hey, I saw your gray Dodge Intrepid in the Cash Wise parking lot. Learn what a parking space is, you moron!"?

Monday, August 8, 2005

So, lemme get this straight...

Michael Bay, is the director of that movie, "The Island". He's known for big budget blockbusters. Scarlett Johansson stars in said movie. "The Island" is rated PG-13 and contains a love scene. Bay wanted Johansson to wear a cheap black bra during the scene, but Johansson didn't want to wear it and preferred to do it topless. Bay didn't, since it would have bumped the movie's rating up to R. They fought over it, and Bay won. Scarlett wore the bra.

Now, I could understand if Bay didn't want people (men) going to his movie if they were only going to see Scarlett's big naked boobies. It must be an ego thing. And no one went to see "The Island". Better to have people come for the wrong reasons, then only make back like 10% at the box office on a film that cost $120 million.

Bay can still redeem himself. If they did film the love scene topless, but it wound up on the cutting room floor. Make a Director's Cut Special Edition DVD, put it in as a deleted scene. They can make back a little bit more of that cash. Just a thought...

Monday, July 25, 2005

The Holy Trinity

It's probably the best thing to come out of the Apple-Intel announcement. The Holy Trinity of operating systems. Mac OS X, Windows, and Linux. All installed on a single machine. Trial-boot, triad-boot, whatever the "3" version of the word "dual" is. One of the biggest reasons I'd buy an Intel-powered Mac.

Well, someone has already done it. Ross Carlson and Joel Wampler setup a Mactel with OS X Intel, Win XP SP2, and CentOS 4.

Now, I'd prefer FC4 as my Linux. Appearantly they had problems with it. And I'm fully confident that the Fedora team will have that one figured out by the time Intel Macs are available to the public.

These are the types of things that made me fall in love with computers in the first place.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

If you give a mouse a cookie...

...he's going to want a glass of milk.

Similarly, if you gave me a copy of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince", I'm going to read it. Try as I might with all my will power, once the book was in my possession, I'd use nearly every free moment I have to enjoy Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts.

How'd I get charmed by the young wizard's spell? Good question. We're going back. Way back. Back into time.

It's August 2003. This was my last summer staying at my parents' place in the Marshall Islands. The Army Corps of Engineers had no need for me anymore, since they had managed to hold onto a secretary for the past year, and she would not be leaving on vacation at any time during the summer. So, I got stuck helping to watch kindergarters (and a few older kids in the late afternoon). On the shelf, lay that first Potter book.

So, what the hell? I was bored off my ass anyway. I started reading. I had already seen the movie (one of the perks of my dad supervising the video rental place and bringing home the newest DVD's before they were made available to the general public). Took me a few days to read it.

Then, my dad brings home two books. Numbers 1 and 4. Both hardcover. And of no use, since I had already, and only, finished the first. I needed another book. So, I bought the second one. Sadly, I was only able to find it in paperback. My goal was to read it on the plane trip back to Fargo. I finished the second one somewhere between Honolulu and Fargo, so I picked up the third in the airport bookstore (don't even remember what city that was). Then, the fourth. Finished all four with the month of August.

This was also the summer that #5 came out. I was having a little trouble finding it. So, my boss and friend Dave let me borrow his copy (or was it his roommates...?). During a Labor Day Weekend trip to a friend's cabin, I started the fifth book and finished it in about a week.

I wouldn't necessarily say that I enjoyed the books. Maybe more satisfied than anything else. Proud that I had actually read a book for the first time in years. What truly made the whole experience enjoyable was having someone to discuss it with. My friend Jim's girlfriend, Becky, was a big fan of the series. When she was at the lake cabin, and subsquently during her visits to Fargo, I would go off on what I liked and didn't like about the stories. Like my problems with Quidditch. Rowling's great writing style. Other things that I can't recall at this time.

In the day or so leading up to the release of this newest book, I thought it might be fun to go to one of the many local stores in Fargo for the midnight openings. Just to find amusement in saying that I was there when it went on sale. Kind of like Star Wars nerds lining up for weeks before the movie opens. Better yet, sell my spot in the line for a quick $20, then go to the end of the line and do it again. But I never acted upon this. I wasn't THAT desparate for it. Or bored for that matter.

So, I was in Target today, picking up a few things, when I saw that they still had like 40-50 copies on their shelves. I'm guessing they started with about 60 or 80. On sale for $17. What the hell. I'll eventually have to buy it and read it anyway (although I never got around to buying Order of the Phoenix yet).

Waiting for my favorite TV show, Stargate SG-1, to come on. I started reading it. And I fear I won't be able to put it down until I finish it. I'll reserve it for those moments when I'd normally read the paper at work during my lunch break. Or when there's nothing good on TV. Maybe a chapter before I go to bed. I just hope it doesn't interfere with anything else I need to do.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Come down on the street and dance with me

A big thanks to Rivers Cuomo for unknowingly letting me use one his song lyrics for the title of this post.

You ever seen a shaving commercial? For shaving gel or disposable razors? The guys in those commercials always appear to be shaving with the grain. Now, I do it too. But aren't you supposed to shave against the grain? Tell me about it, 'cuz I'm questioning my own beliefs here.

I can understand not giving idiots who run out onto the playing area at a sporting event the satisfaction of appearing on television, but it's so entertaining when players start beating the hell out of them. Those moments give us some great highlights. Like that time Dick Butkus leveled an idiot at a Bears game. Classic.

Why do they even bother having refs in Pro Wrestling? No one listens to them. They serve no purpose. They can't keep order, especially when more wrestlers join the fracas.

The perfect muffin would be large. Like a half pound or something. Crunchy texture on top, but light and fluffy inside. Sweet and buttery. Warm. And plain. If they make plain muffins... Fruit fillings, like blueberry, are OK if used sparringly. But they usually just get in the way and don't taste so great.

Speaking of which, I just found out that the state muffin of Minnesota is blueberry. Why, oh why, did they need a state muffin? If you're a Minnesotan, you should be ashamed of yourself. Damn kids.

God, they even have a state mushroom. Good lord...

Learn this and other fun facts at Wikipedia. I find it to be a very educational, interesting, and enjoyable site. Learning can be fun. And knowledge is power.

If I threw my unopened bottle of soda out the space shuttle's airlock, what would happen to it? Would it explode open because of the carbon dioxide gas trying to equalize the air pressure on the inside and outside, or explode due to the increase in heat. Would the side of the bottle not facing the sun cool off, like nearly freeze?

Ah, it doesn't matter. I prefer cans. Conversely, beer should be stored in glass bottles. It tastes better, and you'll never know when you need a weapon to defend yourself with in a bar fight.

The person who downloads the 500 millionth iTunes song will win, among other things, 10 iPods. Who came up with this stupid idea? Why would anyone ever need more than 1? Hell, why even give away an iPod at all? If you're buying iTunes, you've probably already got one to begin with. The winner would be better off with $5000 cash. Save him the time from putting them up on eBay.

No need to thank me, I'm just doing my job.

Friday, July 8, 2005

Transition offense

OK, let's start off talking about some summer movies...

Steve Buscemi is the perfect actor if you have a creepy guy role in your movie.

Scarlett Johansson is a beautiful young actress who carries herself with a lot of grace. You don't see that very often these days.

This movie Stealth, starring Jessica Biel and Jamie Foxx, is one of those movies that looks like it's so bad, that you just have to go see it to find out how really bad it is.

Making a new "Bad News Bears" movie seems like a terrible travesty and big hornets' nest, but if they must, I think Billy Bob Thornton was a perfect fit as the coach.

Almost as horrible: Mrs. Doubtfire 2. Are they totally out of ideas in Hollywood?

Speaking of rehashed garbage: Herbie is a VW Beetle. A classic one. Definitately not made in the U.S.A. Therefore, it could not be used to race in the NASCAR Nextel Cup circuit. Just like Disney to fuck up the world and write their own twisted reality to sell movie tickets.

DEI needs to add another team member if they want to find success in NASCAR's major league. Another experienced driver and crew. I don't think Martin Truex Jr. is there yet. Three or four cars would give DEI what it needs to achieve it's ultimate goal: a Dale Jr. championship.

Is it just me, or is Michael Waltrip the goofy, sidekick neighbor to Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s leading man? Watching any commercial with the two of them... it's like they should be in a sitcom or something.

Saturday, July 2, 2005

Internet Beer!!

Visit the web site for a beer company, like Budweiser, Miller, or Coors. Notice how you have to put in your birthdate to enter? They're trying to keep out minors. Like how porn sites do (or so I've been told...).

I can understand why they would want to do so. You don't want to advertise to minors, contribute to underage drinking, yadda, yadda.

It seems so damn silly. Any kid who knows how to use the internet should be able to the basic math needed to determine what year they should enter to make them appear old enough to drink. Kids are also quite adept at obtaining alcohol. It can't be THAT much of a deterrent. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Oh, if you're interested, Heineken's Dutch site only asks if you're older than 18. The answer you're looking for is "DA". But don't drink it. It's a vile tasting beer and even worse when warm.

Friday, July 1, 2005

Get into the groove

Have you ever noticed that a TV show doesn't get good until its 3rd season? It seems that the writers and creators and such need those first two seasons to work out the kinks, develop the characters, get the right look, etc. And after a show does get good in its third season, I have a hard time going back and watching episodes from the first two. Especially the shows I like most; any Next Generation-based Star Trek, Stargate SG-1, Simpsons, Seinfeld.

Of course, some shows become unwatchable after further tweaking. Like Happy Days, after Richie and Ralph joined the Army and got stationed in Iceland. No good. I like the Fonz, but Henry Winkler couldn't carry the show by himself, IMO. And ER, after Green, Benton, Ross, and Hathaway left (and the death of Kellie Martin's character didn't help any either). I can't even tell you who's on there now. That 70s Show is going to be the same way once the new season starts. Some of those kids are leaving, and it's going to be way too different for me to continue watching.

Then you have shows that always work, no matter what season. M*A*S*H, Scrubs, South Park, The Red Green Show. Nearly any episode, any season, I'll watch it.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

My battle against the music industry

OK, it's been about 5 years since the music industry declared war on file sharing and piracy. And I admit, I may have downloaded some MP3's. I've used Napster, Scour, Audiogalaxy. FTP servers. But there was a big difference between me and the 95% of people who were using such services to amass as much music as possible. I was using Napster for it's intended purpose. I downloaded music, found the stuff I liked, then went out and bought the albums.

My school started fighting the bandwidth issue caused by such programs in February 2000. After my main sources dried up, and repeated warnings from Dick Jacobsen to dorm residents, I stopped. I haven't illegally downloaded an MP3 in about 2 years (I think).

I spend quite a bit of time in front of my PC. Coding, gaming, surfing. Even just listening to music. My MP3 collection wasn't very big until recently. I usually just ripped the songs I liked from an album. Only about 600. When I got my iPod, I ripped all the songs (except duplicates). Even the horrible evil shit like faggoty *NSync (I never listen to it). About 2300 now.

However, I get sick of most of it often. So, I need new music. And I can't download it. Well, I could, but I won't. I'm trying to stay clean. I'd rather spend a few bucks on CD's every month than pay an RIAA fine of thousands.

CD's ain't cheap. The MSRP for a music album is $18.98. I ain't paying $19 bucks for a 12-song disc. No matter how good it is. I hunt for bargains. Look for sales in Best Buy. Check out Amazon.com and CDNow for $10 discs. Even visit a used music store for cheap CD's (in very good condition). And I try to get as many good songs as possible. I won't buy a CD for a single song. And even just two good tracks won't convince me sometimes. I try to get my average price low. Under $12 is decent. Under $10 is great. And you know those CD's with only one good song on it? Free iTunes from underneath 20 oz. bottles of Pepsi helped me save a ton. My time was worth the constant search for savings.

So, that's how I fight the system. Do what I can to prevent all parties involved from taking my money. You should take this approach too.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Are you happy now?

My friend Dave Boll was whining because I haven't mentioned him in my blog yet. This should shut you up, Dave!! :)

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

How the mighty have fallen...

OK, forgive me. It is a phrase I use quite often, but in this case, it's so true.

David E. Kelley was once the King Midas of Hollywood. Everything he touched was gold. Producing great shows like L.A. Law; Doogie Howser, M.D.; Picket Fences; Chicago Hope; Ally McBeal; The Practice; and Boston Public. Some of the best one-hour dramas. On top of the freakin' world. Unstoppable.

Then he threw it all to hell. He decided to make that piece of crap "Girls Club". Never heard of it? Doesn't surprise me. It was basically an "Ally McBeal" x 3. Only lasted a few episodes before FOX cancelled it.

In the words of New Found Glory, "And it's all downhill from here". After that one, they started dropping like flies. After 2 seasons, his shows were practically gone from all the networks.

Now, he's resorted to an Apprentice-style show about lawyers. Trying real cases.

You should have quit while you were ahead, buddy. It's only a matter of time before your wife Michelle leaves you.

Friday, June 17, 2005

OK, most people are probably going to tell you that Driven was not a very good movie. I don't think it's that bad. I find it very watchable. Decent. My only real problem with it is how buddy-buddy everyone is at the end of the movie. Over the course of 2 races and a few weeks, everyone becomes best friends after several months of passionate disdain.

Let's face it, Ashton and Demi are for real. There's no trickery involved. However, I don't buy Katie and Tom. My question is: Who's going to be Punk'd? No, seriously. I wonder if Vegas has odds on this.

Nearly two and a half months have gone by. And those damn Pale Hosers are still leading the A.L. Central. They're winning on luck, not skill. Playing way above their expected win-loss ratio. Just crash and burn already. Then we can end the formality of the regular season and move on to October, so we can crown the eventual A.L. Central champion Minnesota Twins.

Solve for X: Apple + Intel = X.

Whoever went to town on Lindsay Lohan with the ugly stick should be shot.

Is it just me, or is McAfee releasing a new DAT file for their VirusScan program every day now? Damn virus writers. I hope they get a virus. Preferably Ebola.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Go team!

If they haven't already done so, the University of Wisconsin should make this rockin' tune their school fight song. Or at least play it ad naseum at their home games.

Friday, June 10, 2005

A great warrior has fallen

Goodbye, my Champion Eagle. You served me well. Your stories of conquest on the courses of Fargo-Moorhead will live on forever.

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

Random acts of mindless blogging

You should never complain about a friend's wedding. There's a very good chance that you'd come off as self-centered. It's about them, not you.

Teal'c does not make a very good cowboy. In fact, he looks quite gay (as in homosexual) dressed as such.

For the record, Darth Vader said, "No, I am your father."

A.J. Foyt has been reading my blog...

OK, I'm going to assume you're familiar with how the uvula is normally shaped. A little round thing at the end. Mine is not shaped that way. It's more of a stalagtite.

I'm almost rid of this damn cold I've had for the last two weeks, but now I think my taste buds are all FUBARed from the many cough drops I was sucking down.

Sunday, June 5, 2005

Answer #1

Boston Red Sox manager Terry Francona does indeed own a jersey. #47. He just chooses to wear a jacket or pullover instead. Many thanks to Fenway Ambassador Nick for responding to my e-mail query.

No news on Ron Gardenhire.

Friday, June 3, 2005

Waiting for the answers to life's greatest questions...

OK, I've sent e-mails to the Minnesota Twins and Boston Red Sox, asking if their respective managers, Ron Gardenhire and Terry Francona, own jerseys. Every time I see Gardenhire on TV, he's wearing a jacket, with appearently no jersey on underneath. Francona is usually in some sort of turtleneck or sweatshirt or something.

When I know something, you'll know something.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Start your engines

OK, I usually don't use my blog for social commentary and such, but I will today.

The hype this month in the world of auto racing was about Indy Car sensation Danica Patrick. A rookie from Illinois. A female (and cute too). She qualifies 4th for one of the world's greatest races, the Indy 500.

I'm more of a NASCAR guy. Have I not mentioned that before? I recognize way more names. I can roll of a long list of drivers, their numbers, and their primary sponsors. I'm a fan of most drivers. Dale Jr., Jarrett, Kahne, Biffle, Stewart. I don't like Jeff Gordon and his padawan Jimmie Johnson, 'cuz their so dominating.

And I kinda hate Robby Gordon. He's not very good, always crashes, kind of an asshole. And I especially don't respect him after he talks smack about Danica, saying that she has an unfair advantage cuz she's like at least 80 pounds lighter than any other driver and the IRL should change the rules to take that advantage away. This is a guy who's done IRL, and has raced in the last for Indy 500's, but not this year. So why is he even talking?

I'll turn on the race on Sunday. I want to see my guys win. But instead of the normal NASCAR, I turned to ABC to watch the Indy 500. I wanted to see how Danica would fair. And I really wanted to see her win.

Anyways, Danica starts and finishes fourth at the Brickyard, despite stalling in the pit, an accident that damaged her right front wing, and falling as far back as 16th. She was even leading with 6 laps to go. (Full story here). More importantly, she proved that she belongs with the boys out on the race track. She didn't win this time, but she will win that race some day. She will get some of that sweet milk. Mmm... milk...

Excuse me. Now, Danica's current and possible future success get me thinking. What if she became pregnant? I really doubt she'd would engage in such a dangerous sport while with child. I would think that her racing carrer would be on hold for probably 2 years (she'd probably miss a portion of each of 2 seasons). And that's per child she wishes to have (FYI: she's engaged to be married).

Then I start thinking on a grander scale. How does pregnancy affected women in all professional sports? Like WNBA players? Soccer players? NCAA athletes? At what point in their pregnancy do they stop competing to take care of their bodies? Does their athletic condition provide for any advantages (e.g. less complications during pregnancy). When do they choose to come back? Or, like other professional women, do they put off having a family to further their career. Have studies been done on this sort of thing? If not, I would be very interested in conducting such a study. Unfortunately, this would be a long-term study that I'm not patient enough for. And you can't just make someone pregnant for your own gain (I doubt there would be any athletes who would want to be pregnant with my kid for the sole purpose of being my guinea pig).

So, I guess that's all I have to say about that.

Oh, one more thing about Danica. She's going to do one of two thing with her success. She can lift the sport of open-wheel racing and IRL back to its former glory. Which will be hard, since NASCAR is the king of auto racing in America. Or, after success in IndyCar, she can jump to NASCAR and try finding success at that level. That can mean many more sponsorship dollars. If she's even interested in money.

No matter what happens, I wish that girl the best of luck in the 2005 IRL season and her entire career. Go get 'em, Sport.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

On sale this week at Target...

OK, two things about my trip to Target this morning.

A: So, all these states are placing restrictions on the number of Pseudoephedrine cold pills you can buy in a day, since it's one of the primary ingredients in making Meth. OK, fine. Like you can only buy like one box a day. Fine. But I don't think it helps that you can buy a box of 96 generic store-brand tablets. I don't know how many pills it would normally take, but I would think that you'd also want to limit the number of pills in a box.

B: Hershey's is offering a low-carb Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Why? If you're the type of person who bought into the low-carb hype, I would think that you shouldn't be eating candy to begin with. What's worse, the candy was twice the price of a normal Reese's. Which is why I hate that whole diet-craze in the first place. The only place you can expect to lose weight is in your wallet. These people who buy into this crap are like lemmings, just running towards a cliff. It's just wrong.

Friday, May 27, 2005

The answer to the $64,000 question is...

(in no particular order)

Katherine Heigl, Kirsten Dunst, Elisha Cuthbert, Jessica Biel, Heather Graham, Tyra Banks, Lindsey Lohan, Summer Sanders, Amanda Tapping, Danica Patrick.

Monday, May 9, 2005

Eerie similarities...

Why is it that in every single one of her roles, Reese Witherspoon reminds me of my bestest friend Carrie? Especially the dumb blondes.

Sunday, May 8, 2005

Dear Santa

These are the toys I want:

  • The new Weezer CD, Make Believe.
  • A 17" LCD montior.
  • A Mac mini, 1.25 GHz, 512 MB, 40 GB HD, Wireless capable.
  • A KVM switch, with PS/2 inputs and USB outputs.
  • Some baseball cards (see my web site for my wantlists).
  • A better laptop. But that can wait for now.
  • An HP laser printer. This can also wait.
  • A camera phone.
  • Answers to all my Linux questions.
  • Books to make me smart. Specifically, stuff on Linux, Apache/MySQL/PHP, C#. Maybe the new Harry Potter book too.
  • A peon. Someone to do my coding for me.
  • A new Twins hat. Fitted. Size 7 1/4. Away (the one with the "m" on it).

Saturday, May 7, 2005

What a magical evening

I would think that the last place you'd want to be hanging out at before your prom would be the mall. I stayed inside the house all day before my prom. All four of them. I think I stayed in the next day too.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Another great idea for a TV show

They should have made a TV show based on the movie "High Fidelity". Rob, Barry, and Dick are such great characters. Base the show around the on-again, off-again relationship between Rob and Laura. Use as many of the same actors as possible. That would be great.

Yes, I know the movie is based on a book by Nick Hornby.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

The end of an era

You know, South Park has got to be on the downside of the peak. I'm not laughing at the jokes as much as I am laughing at how fucking stupid the plots can be sometimes. I think that dog needs to be put to sleep.

Oh, and I really hate those damn Enzyte commercials. Ever since day one. They fucking annoy me.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Interesting Facts

Lexus is a Japanese company.

Pastrami is made from beef.

Henry Ford invented the moving assembly line while working as a watch repairman. The assembly line allowed his place of employment to reduce the amount of time needed to make repairs, and subsquently lead to his termination from that position because it lowered the amount of money his boss could charge for the repairs.

Ford is also responsible for creating the modern weekend by instituting a five-day, forty-hour work week.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Having cake and eating it too

If you're going to consider buying a cake for someone, but decide not to, don't tell that person. He's better off not knowing.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

On holiday, far away

Every time I go somewhere, I always bring way more shit that I think I need but never use, and I always forget something. Sometimes, I wonder why I bother going anywhere at all.

Saturday, April 2, 2005

The daily commute

Three things I noticed driving back and forth to work today. You know, besides the idiot drivers who should have their vehicles taken away.

Uno: The Office Depot that went out of business on the corner of 45th Street and 13th Ave South is coming back. Why? There's a reason it closed. No one went there. And I won't go there. If I need office supplies, I'll go to Office Max, just one block east and one block south.

Dos: Yesterday was April 1st, which means the start of road construction season. The signs are already up. And the City of Fargo plans to work on 45th St between 13th and 23rd Avenues South. That interferes with me driving to work. So I have to get my ass out of bed earlier. Damn them.

Tres: Those huge steel beams I saw out the north window at IHOP on Easter Sunday. No idea what they were then. Drove those same beams again today, they were for the new Scheels. The one that took them 7 years to build. Well, actually 5 years of a sign saying "Future Site of Scheels" and 2 years of building.

But it's interesting if you think about it. How a street intersection can look so different, depending on the direction you're approaching it from.


And if you bother to take the time to read this, and all of my posts, you'll notice that it's my one-year blogging anniversary. Just saying...

Sunday, March 27, 2005

March 27

I haven't done this in a long time, and I've been meaning to, but I just haven't. Until now. It's another set of random comments.

So, who smokes more of the ganjah? The person who proposed making Miss Congeniality 2, or the studio exec who agreed to make that film? Seriously. Why?

My nearby grocery store sold out and conformed to look like all the other grocery stores owned by the same guy. It's sad. And not at all convenient. I mean, who puts aisles running perpendicular to each other? Really?

If I buy a season of South Park on DVD, do I get all the cussing with no bleeps? I would hope so. Cuss words just make everything funnier. They bleep them out for airing on TV, and bleeps are added after the sound track is recorded. The show is meant for mature audiences (adults). Anyone who's not offended by the show would surely not be offended by those kinds of words.

Speaking of optical media, they have these two versions of next-generation DVD's, Blu-Ray and HD-DVD. I don't care which one comes out on top. But I do hope one format allows studios to put an entire season of a TV show on 2 discs, instead of these 6 or 7 disc sets that cost $75 or more. Whichever one can do that, I'll support it.

My tax return is going to come out to $385. Sweet. That buys me half of a computer.

Any time I watch Independance Day or Top Gun, I want to play Starfox 64. And just the all-around, dogfighting levels. Nothing is more fun than flying around in close combat and shooting down as many planes as possible.

You're still here? It's over! Go home. Go on.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Back up in your ass with the resurrection

I should just spend the rest of my life walking around and quoting Office Space. I just couldn't go wrong.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Lazy piece of crap

One of the many (and probably biggest) reasons for the lack of blog posts is my job. I spend all day sitting in front of computers, doing mundane tasks, sending and receiving e-mails, typing stuff up. When I get home at the end of the day, I want to sit on my ass in front of the TV until it's time for bed. Sure, I'll take care of some chores around the house and make some dinner. But, I'm not sitting down at my computer and working on my web site or programming projects or blog posts.

Now, my blog isn't the only thing suffering. I've got baseball cards to sort through. Stuff to get ready to sell on eBay. Legos to play with. Video games to beat. All these tasks involve running off to my computer. Which is in the other room. Not like in college, when everything I needed was less than 20 feet away. Now, it's about double that, and I'm not motivated enough to do anything about it.

And three nights out of the week, I'm not home. Hockey late Monday nights. Billiards at the bar on Wednesdays. D&D with Dave, Dave, and Chuck on Thursdays. I'm not home long enough to sit and devote 15 minutes to writing blog posts. So screw it. I could use the weekends, but there's definitely got to be something going on in Fargo. Who wants to sit at home on Saturday night typing on their computers?

Lastly, I've got so much I have to or want to write about. Topics like my love/hate relationship with cheesy bread. Idiot drivers in Fargo. Political stuff. That cute new teller at the bank. D&D adventures. Pros and cons of Canada becoming the 51st state. I should sit down to write it down, but I can't decide what I want to write about, if anything.

So, I continue to sit and watch TV. Between Stargate SG-1 and CSI, I'm not going to get much done. My name is Paul, and I'm a lazy piece of crap.

Sunday, February 6, 2005

More assorted Super Bowl comments

Halftime show observations:
  • What was with that weird violin-looking bass Paul was playing?
  • OK, who did what exactly in The Beatles? I know Ringo played drums. Paul and John wrote the songs. But what instruments did they and George play?
  • Does McCartney need to pay royalties to Sony when he plays one of the songs he wrote? What about those he co-wrote with Lennon? Or those written by just Lennon, but recorded and performed by the Beatles?
  • I always enjoy it when McCartney plays "Hey Jude" live.
Note to Fox: The O.C. did not redefine a generation. Not even close. Don't be making such blatantly outrageous claims about your shows. They're not that good. They borderline suck. And stop overpromoting them. I hate you so much.

I feel sorry for the guy who does the voiceovers for the Fox promoes. Poor, sad bastard.

New England is driving. If they score on this drive, I think it's over.

Cocky Patriots. Doing the "Flying Eagle" dance when they score. This isn't something you expect from such a "modest" team. Now, I kinda really dislike them. It's quite annoying. I'd be downright furious if I was an Eagles fans. If you are, you should be.

Our soldiers don't get enough respect. So many people are anti-military, that they fail to realize that real, flesh and blood human beings, just like themselves, are willing to risk their lives to protect theirs. People die so you can live to bitch about it. So wrong.

Yup, the Eagles try to hit a home run and whiff. The deep McNabb to Pinkston pass was incomplete on 3rd down. Philly had to punt. This game is nearly over. It would be if the 45-yard punt return wasn't called back due to a holding penalty.

Oops. Holding a knife and the cat covered in red sauce. That can't look good. If I was that guy, I'd pray to God that my S.O. believed me.

More monkeys. I like monkeys. Everyone likes monkeys. And if you don't like monkeys, you have no soul.

Oh, if Philly could have gotten to that jump ball and picked it off, they'd be back in it.

When I see a disaster movie, I always wonder how the survivors clean up after facing certain death and overcoming such adversity. And I'm talking those movies where millions die. Like Independence Day.

OK, if Philly goes 76 yards for the touchdown on this drive and stops the Patriots on the next drive, they're back in it.

So, if Freddie Mitchell doesn't catch a ball today, but the Eagles win the Super Bowl, will he be justified in shooting his mouth off? Sure, he did nothing to contribute to the win, but he'll be going to the victory parade and getting a ring. You really can't be feeling too bad about that.

Another Philadelphia first down. They're getting back in this one...

I've always been a fan of using many short passes instead of trying to go big on every single play. Short passes are easier to complete. Short passes use more time on the clock. Short passes allow you to get out of bounds. Even if I sent everyone downfield, I'd be tempted to keep one guy close for an easy dump off in case no one is open downfield.

Touchdown Brian Westbrook!! It's all tied up. Philadelphia is back in this one.

Lockable in-bed trunk on a truck. Genius. Why didn't I think of that?

Mini-celebrities are silly. Especially Shaq and Deion. And no, I don't think it's too much bling.

Is it just me, or does Tom Brady kinda look like Matt Damon? Definitely if they were both wearing football helmets.

New England driving; momentum going back their way...

End of 3. Still tied. Usually it'd be anyone's game, but I think momentum is on New England's favor. They're in a much better position to win this game.

The next 16 yards decide this game.

New England got in the end zone. I think this game is over. Philly has to come straight back and score one to get back in it.

Interesting effect in the Toyota commercial. But not very impressive.

Not as good of a kickoff return for the Eagles this time. Not a good start.

Westbrook stopped for a big loss on the ground. Three and out. A Pats FG clinches it. Philly has to make a big play. Take the ball away. Something.

Budweiser Select, eh? I'll give it a try.

Eagles stop on first down. Looked like more than a 3 yard loss. 19-yard pass to Deion Branch. Penalty on Philly for roughing the passer. Dillon runs inside the 10. The Eagles defense is looking tired. Dillon runs for a first down. New England inside the 5. Fullback stopped at the line of scrimmage. Timeout as Jevon Kearse is on the ground with a leg cramp.

Monkeys again!! And they're kissing the asses of other monkeys!

Back to the game, Brady's pass knocked down. Dillon stopped at the line of scrimmage. Vinateri will come out for a field goal. A decent stop, but I still don't think the Eagles can come back from this. Ten points with less than nine minutes to go.

I hate the Stupid Spoiled Whore Twins. Paris got what see deserved in that South Park episode. It's time for people to see the truth about the World's Dumbest Slut.

My MVP prediction: Deion Branch.

I was in the bathroom during the big pass to T.O.

Well, it doesn't matter now. Donovan threw another pick. Game over.

Philly driving after forcing N.E. to punt. But they're going to have to hurry if they want to get back in this one. And you can't expect T.O. to be open deep on every play.

Hey, Freddie, nice of you to show up!

Anyone ever recover an onside kick in the Super Bowl? Cuz that's what it's going to take for Philadelphia to win.

Why is P. Diddy driving through the desert to an award show, while wearing a tux?

"American Dad" would seem funnier if Patrick Warburton did the voice for the main character.

Touchdown Philly with 1:48 to go. They needed that if they wanted even a sliver of a chance to win this game. But it's too little, too late. Sad.

A TD gives the people who bet on the Over a win.

Onsides kick unsuccessful.

Washington has won 3 Super Bowls? I thought that only had 2. One against Denver and one against Buffalo. Oh, maybe one against Oakland, when Doug Williams was their QB. OK, 3 sounds right. My mistake.

Philly stops the Pats. They'll get the ball back one more time.

96 yards and 46 seconds stand between Philly and any chance of winning. Where's John Elway or Joe Montana when you need them?

Another interception by New England. They've won another Super Bowl. Good for them. I hope it's their last in a long time.

That's it. Time to leave the stadium.

Assorted Super Bowl comments

The new XXX movie. With Ice Cube? Upgrade!

You know, this is what Bill Simmons was talking about. The game decided by a bad coin flip. You don't want to blame the kid, cuz then you feel like such a bastard. But you'd think they'd find a kid who could (or could be taught to) flip a coin.

Nice return on the opening kickoff.

The Bud Light commerical where they're going skydiving, and the dude throws the Bud Light out the plane to get the guy to jump, but the pilot is the one who goes after it. Hilarious. I laughed out loud for 5 minutes. The Anheiser-Busch company can always produce a great ad. They're untouchable.

Good call overturning McNabb's fumble.

P. Diddy showing up to a big award show in a Diet Pepsi truck. Then it becoming the new big trend. Not surprising if that actually happened. And Carson Daly is such a massive tool, that he'd would do it and try to impress P. Diddy. Can't we put him to death yet? Damn.

Vin Diesel in a Disney movie. Now he's officially old news.

Four punts so far. Defensive battle, indeed.

Wow, big play by T.O. and a Patriots penalty on the same play. I think they'll score first. Definitely enough for short field goal range.

Geez, another New England penalty. And they would have taken the ball away. Stupid penalties cost you games.

Rob Scheinder as the "You can do it!" guy in yet another Adam Sandler movie. I don't even think you can call him an actor anymore. Leaving SNL can kill so many careers.

That poor bastard in the Ameriquest commercial. Maced, hit with a bat, then tasered. Ouch. And yet another reason I think cell phone use is out of control. More on that some other time.

You know, a day will come when Super Bowl tickets are so expensive, that you have to wonder if the price includes round-trip airfare.

Another Philly turnover. That can't be good.

Scoreless after one quarter. Hope you didn't take the over (which is 48 for this game, a little high, IMO, but I don't know much about gambling on football, except "always bet against the Vikings"). :)

Funny, I thought a good show like "CSI" was America's #1 show, not some piece of crap like "American Idol". Sorry, I had to take my shot at that one.

P = The Eagles are a passing team. P = True.

Two great catches by Todd Pinkston. Amazing. I go with my original statement. Philly will score first.

And yes, Brian Westbook is a key factor in this game. Playing well so far.

The New England helmets are shiny.

Top 5 Philly guys I'd like to see score a TD: McNabb, Westbrook, Pinkston, T.O., and that construction worker guy.

I wrote that sentence during the play that the Eagles scored their first touchdown.

The running animals. I saw "Budweiser commercial" coming a mile away. Clever, but not particularly funny.

So that's were MC Hammer was...

Apple and Pepsi are giving away 200 million iTunes?!

I always chuckle when I see a guy on the sidelines at a football game sucking down oxygen with a gas mask.

Wait a minute... How the hell did those kids know who MC Hammer was? I think his 15 minutes ended about the same time those kids were born.

The officials are doing a good job with the challenges. And so are the coaches. This instant replay system is excellent.

Good run by Corey Dillon. Good running backs are supposed to make those cuts. That's what they're paid for.

Hee hee. Monkeys. But it's true. We do feel that way some times. That we have to do everything at work. Like we're the only competent employee at our places of employment. But my dad will tell you, he always feels that way, because it's true. He does work with a bunch of idiots (in his opinion, and he's always right... **BARF!**).

Constant thought during the first half: can't wait to see Paul McCartney's old man-boobs. Ha ha ha.

Speaking of boobs, Justin Faggotass should have gotten more flak for that stunt last year. And Janet Jackson less.

Two minute warning.

Another Batman movie. Why? And was that Katie Holmes? I hope she found her boobs. Cuz they've been M.I.A. for a few months.

I don't want to see Dennis Rodman take a bath. That's just wrong on so many levels.

David Givens, that was such a bad idea. Making fun of T.O. after scoring a touchdown. Well, since you no longer have any use for that head of yours (since it does not contain a brain), you won't mind when some Eagles player rips it off.

Another good kickoff return by the Eagles. But penalty. Suck. Anywho, don't be surprised by if they take one back for a TD in this game.

Yup, pretty even game so far. As expected. Halftime!!

To be continued...

Saturday, February 5, 2005

Mailing it in...

Forgive the lateness and possible low quality of this post.

OK, so the last day or so, I've thought about some of the things I'd like to blog about. Maybe because I do have another blog to post in. So, here they are.
  • Photo blog. My top choice for a second blog (or extension of this one). If and when I get a camera phone and the necessary accessories, I'd use it to photograph the silly, the stupid, the cool, the weird things I see everyday. And then comment on it. Maybe write a funny caption. Like today, I was driving behind this white car with two people in it. And there was a cat sitting inside. On the backseat dash. Who takes the cat for a drive? Without a pet carrier? I understand doing this with a dog. A dog will stay inside when you open the door. I would not expect a cat to do the same thing.
  • Something sports related. When I was about 12, I was playing Tecmo Super Bowl on my Nintendo, playing through a season with the Atlanta Falcons. I wanted to pretend I was the QB and make voice recordings about how the season was going. After every game, I'd talk about how we played, what I did right and wrong, point out some key plays and stats. Nowadays, I think I'd apply this to an EA Sports game in Franchise Mode. As the new rookie on the team, I'd write about how my career was progressing. I'd modify posts so the in-game date would match up with the date of the post (example: In NHL 2004, Dallas Stars host Detroit Red Wings on 2/4/04. I play the game on my PC on 4/1/05. But the blog post date would be 2/4/04).
  • Something anonymous. So no one knows it's me. So I can go off without fear of the consquences. I may have already said too much.
  • "Friends of Fritz". A blog where my friends can post with me. I don't know how many of them would take up my invitiation though.
I reserve the right to add more to this list at a later time.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

I'm in the (Canadian) money...

So, it's always been a habit of mine to hold onto non-standard US currency and all international currency for safekeeping. It's something I picked up from my mother. She has pre-1965 quarters, wheat pennies, two dollar bills. I also got into the habit when my dad became a vending manager. He'd always bring home foreign coins that people tried to use in the soda and candy machines. Most of the coins are from Pacific Rim countries, but there were also a surprising number of European coins (now worthless, thanks to the Euro).

In the last few years, I've been collecting the 50 State Quarters. But my luck has been a little dry lately; I haven't found many 2003 or 2004 quarters. I've also got one of those plastic camera film containers (you know, the black ones with the gray lids) full of Canadian change. I counted it up and found that I had $2.29 CAD (Canadian Dollars). I was interested in how much this was in US Dollars. I went to the Yahoo! Currency Converter and found out that I had about $1.85 (as of 1/28/05 at 6 pm ET ).

I had no idea that a Canadian dollar would get me 81 American cents. I thought the Looney was only worth 60-66 cents.

I have no plans to spend my well-earned Canadian wealth.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Not many things anger me...

OK, that's a big lie. Many things anger me. But this isn't about me.

You hear the horror stories. People doing some of the most disgusting, disturbing, sadist things. You don't believe them. You can't picture someone actually doing it. But it's true. And when you see it, you snap. You want to do something. Probably something violent, or righteous, or violent.

Well, a situation like that happened when I was out last night. As we've been doing for the last few weeks, I went out to the pool hall with my friends to hang out. There were these girls there. I didn't know who they were, but my friends Chuck and Lyn did. Anyway, one of them was pregnant. Now, if I was pregnant, I would not be spending time in a smoke-filled environment. Especially if the person I was there with was smoking. Nor would I want the mother of my child to sit in bar breathing that crap. Well, this pregnant woman was also smoking.

Why oh why? If she wasn't a woman, I'd punch her in the face. Yes, that might make me a horrible person. But maybe you didn't understand me. A pregnant woman was smoking.

There's no better reason to stop smoking. You have a developing human being inside you. You're responsible its health. You might as well shoot the damn thing in the head. It isn't even born, and you're condemning it to a life of pain and suffering.

I just wanted to scream. I've rarely been so angry in my life.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Flight delayed

That post about my goals will be delayed a few more days. I've been sick recently. Not fun. Expect to see it Friday, at the earliest.

Until then... I dunno. Learn the capitals of all 50 states.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

As seen on TV

During the weekends, I'll channel surf to find something good (although I rarely do). But I will stop to watch infomercials and other people trying to sell me stuff. I see these products and say to myself, "It looks pretty good, but I wonder how well it really works." Like the GT Express Grill 101 or Chef Tony's Smart Ware. What I'd really like to do is buy these products, test them out, and blog about them. I'd setup a series of experiments to test the products' claims. I'd look at the suggested retail price and compare it to the actual amount I spent on it. I'd determine how frequently I'd use the product and the value I would get from it. Rate it. If I like it, suggest it and link to it, so I can make some money off of the sales my blog generates.

Unfortunately, my expenses involved in such an endeavor would far outweigh any revenue I'd create. These products aren't cheap, and neither is paying to register a domain.

But I still think it would be, at the very least, an exciting adventure.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

The holy grail

I sure hope someone makes an external DVD +/- RW drive, with an IEEE 1394 (Firewire) capability, and it's Windows, Mac, and Linux compatible. That would be cool.

If you do make one, I'll give you $100 for it. No more, but less, if possible.

Friday, January 21, 2005

What more do you want?

I'm finding it a little tough to write lately. I have things I want to write about. I know what to write. I'm just not patient enough to do it. There are other things I want to do. The last couple of days, "sitting and writing in my blog" has not been high on my priority list.

And that's pretty much every single project I have. My programming, FAQs, Diablo II characters, baseball cards. I get started, all excited at first. I hit a wall, try to put it down for a while. Come back later and find it hard to pick it back up again. Get distracted by a bunch of stuff, move on, forget about it. Think of it much later and see it as a lot of work to start up again.

Unrelated note: the word "blog" is considered a misspelled word by the spell check incorporated into utility for writing my blog posts. How does that happen? I thought the guys at Google were smart. S-M-R-T. :)

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Appetizers for the main course

I wish more bands would release "Greatest Hits" (GH) compilations.

Let's look at this problem from another angle. Assume bands are restaurants, and their albums are appetizers. "Greatest Hits" would be the appetizer samplers.

You walk into a restaurant, you generally have an idea of what kind of cuisine they offer. The type of atmosphere inside. What you're going to order. After your visit there, you have an idea of what you do like and what you don't like about it. Restaurants who have lost their liquor licenses are like CD's with "Clean" versions. OK, but still not as good as it can be. Some restaurants are unique. Some are overhyped, overexposed carbon copies with no style and no good taste. If someone says, "Hey, let's go out to eat at this place," I know how I will respond.

So, there are a lot of bands I like. But I'm not too familiar with the their menus. I know they have some good stuff. But I don't know about the rest. And I'm not willing to spend the money to see if I like a dish. I'd rather spend roughly the same amount on a little of everything. That's what a "Greatest Hits" is; a few songs from every album. And the very best ones.

There are about 10 or 15 bands I want to release a "Greatest Hits"...

  • 3 Doors Down: I like 3 songs off of both of their albums. Third one comes out 2/8. I'll probably have to wait 5 years for the GH.

  • Bush: Most of the songs I like are on "Sixteen Stone". I also like "Swallowed" and "The Chemicals Between Us". They might not have enough hits for a GH. I'll probably also have to wait another 5 years for this one.

  • Dixie Chicks: Most of their good songs are on "Fly", their second album. Again, probably not enough for a GH. However, the decision to even BUY this one hinges on the version of "Landslide" they use. The Sheryl Crow Remix is a better version of their cover. If the GH lacked this song, I'd buy "Fly" and go with iTunes for the rest of the songs I like.

  • Fuel: Their good songs are pretty spread out. Only 1 or 2 per each of their 3 albums. I also own two of their songs. Might have to wait 10 years for this. (Ed. Note: Fuel released a GH album on 12/6/05. And I will buy the next time I'm at Best Buy. - 12/11/05)

  • Staind: Wow. Very good band. They can crank out a deep, hard-rockin' ballad. Maybe after their next album, they'll have a GH. Again, the 5 year wait is in effect. (Ed. Note: Staind released a quasi-GH album on 11/14/06. Since it does not include "How About You" or a studio version of "Outside", I will not be picking up this album. - 2/25/07)

  • AC/DC and Metallica: Both bands and heavy metal/hard rock bands. Both have extensive discographies of nearly 20 CD's. Both have many good songs I've heard on the radio. But I'm hesitant to go through all their albums to track down which songs I like. It would be a very time consuming task. I could ask my friends Vern and John for some help. A GH album from both of these bands would just make my life a whole lot easier.

  • Alanis Morissette: Tough call on this one. Quite a few good songs on "Jagged Little Pill". Then only "Thank U" on "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie". I already have "Hands Clean" from "Under Rug Swept". And there are a few good cuts from "So-Called Chaos". In the end, I'd buy it. But I do wonder if the GH would have some of her early stuff, from her career as a pop singer, before she went all "Fuck You!" (Ed. Note: Alanis released a GH album on 11/15/05 entitled "the collection". I purchased it on 6/25/06. - 2/25/07)

  • Good Charlotte: Along the same lines as Fuel. This one really hinges on a single song though. "The Click", the theme song to the short-lived MTV cartoon "Undergrads". This song was on their self-titled debut. If the GH has it, I'll buy it. If not, I'll resort to buying their first two albums to get the good songs. (Ed. Note: I bought the self-titled album on 6/25/06 and "The Young and the Hopeless" on 7/5/06. - 2/25/07)

  • Kid Rock: He's getting close. About 2-3 good songs per each of his 4 albums. If he doesn't release a GH for his next album, the NEXT one after that should be a GH, IMO.

  • Linkin Park: I hope they don't leave out the original version of "Numb". But with only 5 songs (6 including the Linkin Park/Jay-Z "Numb/Encore" remix) from 2 albums, it's going to be about 10 years for before any GH album from these guys. (Ed. Note: Bought "Hybrid Theory" and "Meteora" after the first of this year. I still want the "Numb/Encore" remix, but that could be picked up on iTunes. - 2/25/07)

  • Limp Bizkit: Although Fred Durst claims in his blog/the band's web site that he won't do it, I can't see him not doing it. I count enough songs for them to do one right now. Unfortunately, I don't see all 12 of them making it. Let's just wait and see what happens on this one. (Ed. Note: limpbizkit released a GH album a few weeks ago. And I bought it. - 11/24/05)

  • Lisa Loeb: I'm buying this one for only three songs. Every song is on a different album.

  • Dave Matthews Band: My problem with DMB is simple. 20 albums. 17 are live. 3 are studio. How the hell am I supposed to go through, find the studio albums, then find the songs I like? I won't. They should make it easy for me (Ed. Note: Please see my blog post from 11/9/06 for my comments on the recently released DMB GH. - 2/25/07).



I've got more to say about Greatest Hits albums. But I'm saving that for another day. This took me nearly a week to write.

Anyone looking for my entry about my 2005 goals will have to wait until next week, at the earliest.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Moving on to level 2

Now that my friend Travis is reading my blog and linking to it, I have to take my game to the next level. I have all this pressure to keep my performance at a higher level. If my content is not good enough, he's going to stop reading.

It was much easier when I didn't know if anyone was reading. I didn't have anyone to disappoint. No one to impress. No reason to continue. But welcome to level 2, baby.

Bring on the Grue!!

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Where there's smoke...

My friends Dave, Chuck, Lyn, and Michelle smoke. And they like going to places where they can smoke. Bars, the pool hall, their own apartments.

And I go there too. I don't like the smoke. I can't stand it. Mostly because all my clothes reak of it at the end of the night.

It's like this. My friends come with the "smoking feature". Windows comes with "security holes and patches features". I may not like these "features," but I can put up with them. They don't bother me enough to switch to something else.

And really, I don't have very many options. I could choose to not hang out with them, but I would be missing out on spending time with mutual friends such as Dave, Tyler, Cory, and Travis. I could tell them not to smoke, but I'm sure they've heard that argument from 10,000 other people, and nothing I say could convince them at this point. I could go hang out with my friends from college, but most of them have moved away and/or I hate them very much. So, if I chose to not hang out with the smokers anymore, I'd be sitting at home nearly every night, either in front of the TV or the computer, with no one around.

That wouldn't be good for me. Just deciding to be a hermit so I wouldn't have to be around it. Not that the secondhand smoke IS good for me either.

So, I choose to hang out with my friends who smoke. They're pretty cool people, and I like them very much. I just don't like it when they smoke.

Sunday, January 9, 2005

The self-reflection-inducing Quoteboard

This one goes out to Travis...

OK, Travis is like the only other person I know that is a Weezer fan. So, on Friday night, I checked out the Official Weezer Message Board. The buzz on the board was about the first single of Weezer's yet unnamed 5th album. The song "Beverly Hills" is scheduled to start receiving airplay some time in March. The posters on that board speculated that the album will be released sometime around May.

Well, Saturday night, I get this thought. "I should tell Travis. He'd be interested to know that." So I visit his website in an attempt to find some way to contact him. His main site consists of a bunch of links to the blogs of his closest friends. But there's no good place for random visitors or regular friends (me) to post stuff. After hunting for a few minutes, I click on the Quoteboard.

At the time I was reading it, I thought that it was some of the funniest stuff I've read on the internet. Like the comment by his girlfriend Nicole about a Frozen Banana kit. I was in awe of the high caliber of the quotes that were on the Quoteboard.

After reading the entire thing, I wondered how I could get on the Quoteboard. Then I realized that I probably never have, and maybe never will, say anything good enough to put me up there. It's like trying to get into a professional sports hall of fame. Only the best of the best.

My sense of humor is, well, peculiar, to say the least. My problem is that I try to make obscure and arcane (note: I looked that word up in the dictionary to ensure I was using it properly) references to things I've seen on TV and movies (mostly Simpsons). Usually, I'm the only one who knows what the hell I'm talking about. So when someone actually bothers to listen to me (or just happens to hear me), they look at me like "huh?". And that's when they're being polite.

You're either funny or you're not. IMO, it's not really something you can learn. Comedy is mostly timing and observation. I'm pretty oblivious to what's going on around me half the time, and when I do think of something funny to say, it's usually 3 hours later when no one is around. And if they are, they're all "Dude, that was like 3 hours ago!"

Side tangent: I've been waiting for a few months to use a comeback or comment that I've been working on for a few months. Of course, I have to wait for someone to ask me, "How long did it take you to come up with that one?" or "How long have you been waiting to use that one?". Only then can I answer with an exact count of months, days, and hours.

I've always tried humor as a way to get people's attention. I want people to like me. Sad but true. I usually stick to sarcastic comments or self-deprivation to get laughs. I excel at getting people to laugh AT me, but I want them to laugh WITH me. Now, I have been told that I have a good sense of humor. And there are some people I can get to laugh on a consistent basis. But my comedic routine is nowhere near the high level of quality needed to get on the Travis Kroh Quoteboard.

I could spend the rest of my life (or at least the amount of time between now and a point in the future where it may become impractical to continue being friends with Travis) trying to come up with something that would appear on the Quoteboard. If I did, that would be pretty pathetic. Trying desperately to win the approval of a single human being. Like not having Travis post one of my funny comments would make my life incomplete. Like I'm trying to get him to like me.

But he already does. Travis has many friends. Some closer than others (and we're all like that). He's going to spend time with people I don't know or associate with. And we do hang out occasionally. I wish more often, 'cuz I think he's a really cool guy. He has many entertaining stories and anecdotes. I'm interested to hear about his feelings of the things he's interested in. (Does that make sense?) He knows Linux. I want to know Linux. He's a damn good coder. I wish I was as good as he was; I'd love to get some pointers from him someday. He likes Dave Matthews Band. And we both like Weezer.

I may never get on the Quoteboard. I shouldn't let that bother me. I should just be glad that he considers me a friend. And I am.

Monday, January 3, 2005

Pre-blog random thoughts

I plan to blog every Monday night from now on. I wonder how long that will last...

Until then, enjoy these random thoughts. You could see it as a precursor to this blog. Next week: my goals for the new year.



How does Queen Elizabeth II fill out the "Name" portion of a form? Is her first name "Elizabeth", or is it "Queen"? What about a last name? Does she have one? Or does she just use "II" or "the II"? And what about where her occupation? Does she write "Queen of England", or just "Queen", or maybe some verbose title? Does anyone out there know?

Breast implants are like magic tricks. When you see a really good magic trick, you're amazed by how it was done. But when you learn how the magician does it, it just doesn't seem as special. When you see a nice pair of breasts, you're awed by their great shape and size. However, once you learn that they are not natural, they just don't seem as great.

I think I may have decided what to do with the rest of my life. That's right. Eccentric millionaire. I want to pay 70,000 people to fill a football stadium and cheer as I lead my team from a 23-0 deficit to a last-second victory. And other cool stuff. Like buying the Dallas Stars, watch them win a Stanley Cup, and skate with it over my head for hours. Taking batting practice with Torii Hunter, Corey Koskie, Harmon Killebrew, and many other current and former Twins. Building something big and pointless. That would be cool.

What does an aetheist say when you sneeze?

If loose lips sink ships, my sister could send the entire U.S. Navy fleet to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean in less than a second.

The great thing about Iron Chef is how they much such a production out of it. Chairman Kaga's elegant costumes. The orchestra producing the Final Fantasy-esque music. The play-by-play announcing. The rich, detailed storyline.

Saturday, January 1, 2005

Cleanin' out my closet

I had these sitting in my draft box for a few weeks. I thought I should post them and get them out of the way.

I plan to update my blog on a weekly basis. And I'm working on some web site stuff too. Stay tuned...



Why does Superman fly the way he does? You know, horizontal with his arms out in front of him. Why not in a sitting position? Or the Heisman Trophy? What about the backstroke? If I was him, I'd fly in all kinds of crazy positions. And don't give me this aerodynamic crap. He's faster than a speeding bullet. Drag force don't got nothin' on the Man of Steel.

House M.D.: Good show, but on at the same time as Scrubs.

=w= Just that. Pretty self-explanitory.

So, AOL is offering virus protection software to their "members". And spam-blocking. I believe those of us in the IT industry call it the UNINSTALL feature.



Great Mario Kart items:

Feather (SMK): Wicked air, massive shortcuts, avoids items, fun to jump outside the course boundaries and get rescued by Likatu.
Poison Mushroom (SMK): Shrink yourself down to size, then get another to get back to normal-size.
Ghost (SMK, MK64): Thieving, especially in two-player mode and using those items against your victim.
Gold Mushroom (MK64): Boost as many times as possible; time duration not limited by a number of uses.
Triple Green Shells (MK64): Great shield. Protect yourself from the debris on the road, or clean it up yourself.
Triple Red Shells (MK64): Better than greens. Can juggle target if fired with the right timing.
Lightning (SMK, MK64): Flatten the little guys! Lets you catch up in a hurry.

Notice a pattern? Nothing from the Gamecube version, Mario Kart Double Dash (MKDD). The best items were in the SNES and N64 versions, Super Mario Kart (SMK) and Mario Kart 64 (MK64).
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