Forget the chicken and the egg

What really came first? Wonka brand-candy company, or Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?

Even better than Mr. Pibb plus Red Vines

Mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups + Rolo's = THE craziest deliciousness!!

I wonder if there are any supermarkets out there with wireless access points. Maybe you surf the 'net and buy groceries at the same time. They could also try to bombard you with advertisements on product specials. Just a thought...

You know how bars have free snacks, like peanuts or pretzels? If I ever get my own bar/(bar/(grill/restaurant)), I'm going to serve free sunflower seeds.

I'm addicted to those things. I can't get enough of them. And if I had my own bar, I can eat as many as I wanted to, any time I wanted to. They'd be a business expense, so they wouldn't cost me a thing. Score!

Let the fountains flow

I really wish the grocery store down the street from my house had a soda fountain in it. Very few restaurants and gas stations are open 24 hours in Fargo. Those restaurants that are (Denny's, Perkins, etc.) aren't exactly take out/drive thru places, and the gas stations that are are not close to my place.

Maybe I should buy my own fountain. And a kit to have it pour cola into my body intravenously.

JUST HOOK IT TO MY VEINS!!

No, sir, I didn't like it

The new Pepsi logo is ugly.

Top ten favorite beverages

In no particular order:

Milk, OJ, Pepsi, grape juice, Budweiser, ice cold water, lemonade, Jagbomb, Coke (from a soda fountain), chocolate milk (self-mixed)

The solution to all of life's problems

You know what my neighborhood needs? A liquor store. Sure, Happy Harry's is only about 2 miles away on 45th Street, but it's rarely along my normal driving routes. And I hate going out of my way for tasty alcoholic beverages.

No... more... pie...

My body always makes me pay for it, but I love having tacos for dinner. They are so awesome when I make them myself, but they make my gut feel bloated and put the lower sections of my digestion track into overtime. They burn my tongue and make me sweat, but week after week, I still belly up and devour them like they're the best thing in the world. And they are.

They'd be even better if I could find someone else to make them for me. :)

Where are the simple pleasures?

Gum used to be fun.

The main purpose of gum these days seems to be fresh breath. Minty flavors. Thin strips.

Where's the Bubblicious? Hubba Bubba? Bubble Yum? When I chew gum, I want to blow bubbles. I want flavors like grape, orange, green apple. I don't want to have to stop by Scheels every time I want a delicious, enjoyable piece of gum.

They just don't make things like they used to.

You could have prevented this, Jared

Three bad choices made in the past year by my local Subway shops:

1. The switch from Pepsi products to Coke products. Although I can't tell the difference between both colas when they come out of a fountain. Coke is usually associated with your standard fast food places, like McDonald's, Burger King, or Wendy's. Pepsi was found at your more non-traditional eateries, like KFC, Pizza Hut, or Taco Bell. Subway has nothing to do with normal fast-food fare, and in fact, bills it self as a total 180.

2. No more Cheddar Cheese. I'm not usually a fan of cheese on my sandwiches to begin with, I do like my Subway Melt with Cheddar. Without it, the sandwich does doesn't look right. The color contrast was perfectly appetizing. Now, the only choices are American, Swiss, or Pepper Jack. All white. Not so mouth-watering.

3. Goodbye Subway cards. I always got to have a footlong sandwich and soda when I go to Subway. Sure, I have to shell out nearly $8 per visit, but earning stamps so that 9th footlong was free made it worth it.

With these changes, I don't think I'm going to Subway anymore. And I had spent the last year and a half growing to like them. Sad.

You're welcome

Dear Pepsi,

According to this article on Wikipedia, Pepsi outsells Coke in my home state of North Dakota. I think we all know why. You're welcome.

Now gimme some damn Pepsi!!

Come down on the street and dance with me

A big thanks to Rivers Cuomo for unknowingly letting me use one his song lyrics for the title of this post.

You ever seen a shaving commercial? For shaving gel or disposable razors? The guys in those commercials always appear to be shaving with the grain. Now, I do it too. But aren't you supposed to shave against the grain? Tell me about it, 'cuz I'm questioning my own beliefs here.

I can understand not giving idiots who run out onto the playing area at a sporting event the satisfaction of appearing on television, but it's so entertaining when players start beating the hell out of them. Those moments give us some great highlights. Like that time Dick Butkus leveled an idiot at a Bears game. Classic.

Why do they even bother having refs in Pro Wrestling? No one listens to them. They serve no purpose. They can't keep order, especially when more wrestlers join the fracas.

The perfect muffin would be large. Like a half pound or something. Crunchy texture on top, but light and fluffy inside. Sweet and buttery. Warm. And plain. If they make plain muffins... Fruit fillings, like blueberry, are OK if used sparringly. But they usually just get in the way and don't taste so great.

Speaking of which, I just found out that the state muffin of Minnesota is blueberry. Why, oh why, did they need a state muffin? If you're a Minnesotan, you should be ashamed of yourself. Damn kids.

God, they even have a state mushroom. Good lord...

Learn this and other fun facts at Wikipedia. I find it to be a very educational, interesting, and enjoyable site. Learning can be fun. And knowledge is power.

If I threw my unopened bottle of soda out the space shuttle's airlock, what would happen to it? Would it explode open because of the carbon dioxide gas trying to equalize the air pressure on the inside and outside, or explode due to the increase in heat. Would the side of the bottle not facing the sun cool off, like nearly freeze?

Ah, it doesn't matter. I prefer cans. Conversely, beer should be stored in glass bottles. It tastes better, and you'll never know when you need a weapon to defend yourself with in a bar fight.

The person who downloads the 500 millionth iTunes song will win, among other things, 10 iPods. Who came up with this stupid idea? Why would anyone ever need more than 1? Hell, why even give away an iPod at all? If you're buying iTunes, you've probably already got one to begin with. The winner would be better off with $5000 cash. Save him the time from putting them up on eBay.

No need to thank me, I'm just doing my job.

Internet Beer!!

Visit the web site for a beer company, like Budweiser, Miller, or Coors. Notice how you have to put in your birthdate to enter? They're trying to keep out minors. Like how porn sites do (or so I've been told...).

I can understand why they would want to do so. You don't want to advertise to minors, contribute to underage drinking, yadda, yadda.

It seems so damn silly. Any kid who knows how to use the internet should be able to the basic math needed to determine what year they should enter to make them appear old enough to drink. Kids are also quite adept at obtaining alcohol. It can't be THAT much of a deterrent. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Oh, if you're interested, Heineken's Dutch site only asks if you're older than 18. The answer you're looking for is "DA". But don't drink it. It's a vile tasting beer and even worse when warm.

On sale this week at Target...

OK, two things about my trip to Target this morning.

A: So, all these states are placing restrictions on the number of Pseudoephedrine cold pills you can buy in a day, since it's one of the primary ingredients in making Meth. OK, fine. Like you can only buy like one box a day. Fine. But I don't think it helps that you can buy a box of 96 generic store-brand tablets. I don't know how many pills it would normally take, but I would think that you'd also want to limit the number of pills in a box.

B: Hershey's is offering a low-carb Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Why? If you're the type of person who bought into the low-carb hype, I would think that you shouldn't be eating candy to begin with. What's worse, the candy was twice the price of a normal Reese's. Which is why I hate that whole diet-craze in the first place. The only place you can expect to lose weight is in your wallet. These people who buy into this crap are like lemmings, just running towards a cliff. It's just wrong.

Having cake and eating it too

If you're going to consider buying a cake for someone, but decide not to, don't tell that person. He's better off not knowing.

Life's greatest questions?

Is it just me, or does Katie Holmes not have boobs anymore?

Do you think the studio audience at "Jeopardy!" tapings try to answer the questions, just like you or I would when watching it on TV? If so, can the contestants hear them? Or does the audience have to sit there and be quiet? Would security have to escort them out if they did answer questions out loud?

OK, you know how on "Iron Chef", they have Japanese celebrities on as judges and guest commentators? Are these A-list or B-list celebrities in Japan? Is there any way to know? I'm kinda leaning towards B-list. I'm just saying, 'cuz on Iron Chef America, they had that guy who played Gunthar on "Friends", and he's definitely B-list.

You're supposed to keep coffee in the refrigerator? Says who? Since when?

And that can't be the right way to spell "refrigerator"...

Wait a minute, Michelin is a FRENCH company?

OK, who's a member of the Brat Pack? How many are there? Are there certain qualifications? Clarification on this would be great.

Lastly, if you've got something in the oven, wouldn't make more sense to use the oven timer instead of the one on the microwave?

Why do women/girls in Hollywood between the ages of 14 and 34 feel like need to pursue a career in both acting and singing? Is it really necessary? Are they so unhappy with the one profession that they have to follow a second, equally demanding one? And do you ever notice that it's always pop music? They take the easy way out and choose a genre that requires (relatively) less work. Maybe if they focused on one task, they'd be better at that...

The problem with Subway sandwiches is that a six-inch sub is not filling enough and a footlong is too expensive.

Any Tom, Dick, and Harry can become President in America. Just ask Jefferson, Nixon, and Truman.

Speaking of politics, am I the only one who thinks the geeks of the world should unite and fight for our own political causes? American geeks have much to worry about. Copyright law, online censorship, outsourcing of jobs, the Microsoft monopoly. Together as a single voice, we would be heard.

Do you remember when poker was cool? I do. It was during the 2003 World Series of Poker. When Chris Moneymaker came out of nowhere to win the $2.5 million in the main event. Then, everybody and their mom realized, "Hey, if this guy played in some Internet tournaments to make his way through and win it all, I can too!" ESPN deserves a large amount of blame too. Before, it was just a short series of hour-long episodes that showed the action from the main event. Now, they have to show practically EVERY tournament. It's just not an interesting. Like watching the first three and a half quarters of a basketball game just to get to the last few minutes of nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat competition.

If I knew what the hell what was going on, I could probably get into Stargate SG-1. But I have no freakin' clue. Really, the only thing stopping me is experience. Like Star Trek. I've seen mostly every episode of TNG, DS9, and VOY. I grew up watching it. Not so much with the SG-1. Any suggestions?

What right or reason does Sum 41 have to "Rock Against Bush"? They're CANADIAN!! They have no right to say who our leaders should be or what they should do. If they got a problem with W, go back to Canada, eh? Those hosers.

I want to build a Human Foosball table. A REAL one. With actual people. But I do recgonize two possible problems. One is safety. How do you design a harness that can safely hold a human in place? You'd need something to keep their feet/legs in place. Ideally, you'd also want them to keep their hands at their sides, but you want to give them some method to defend themselves. Helmets would be required, obviously. Second, turning the people. You'd need to rig up some gear system so you can make a normal foosball-type handle to turn a much larger version. And the person spinning the foosball players would probably have to be standing on a platform above the action, so they can see the whole field.

I'll gladly pay more for my groceries if it means that someone will bag them for me.

If today is your birthday, Happy Birthday!! If not, Happy Unbirthday!!

Have you seen that show "Quintuplets" on FOX? The one with Andy Richter.  Did you notice how extremely portrayed their characters are? First, you got the short boy, who's a lot like Bud Bundy, but he doesn't come off disgusting, like Bud. Then, there's the stupid guy. He says a lot of the same things you'd expect a kid like that to say if he were stoned. Next, is the athletic, popular guy. Finally, there are the two girls. They're kinda like the two girls on "8 Simple Rules", but again, taken to more of an extreme. The popular blonde is even more worried about popularity, while the cute mousey brunette girl is just a little more anti-establishment than her ABC counterpart. Each kid is a stereotype of the teenage population he/she is trying to represent.

When people in a commercial talk about "this website", and no one explicitly says what the website is, you know it has to reek of no good.

I never thought I could do it, nor ever wanted to do it, but I was able to drive down to and within the Twin Cities. I was so nervous, scared, and anxious before getting in the car, but once I got on the road, my worries decreased a lot. Thank god for Yahoo! Maps, easy-to-follow driving directions, and big, simple road signs.

On the way down, I saw so many out-of-state license plates, I could have destroyed at License Plate Bingo. Washington, Oregon, Nebraska, Missouri, Mississippi, Connecticut, Alaska. Even Canadian provinces Alberta and Saskatchewan. On the way back, I also spotted Wisconsin (I saw it in Fargo, so it counts), Kentucky, Tennessee, Connecticut, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania.

You know, I really have to sit down and try salmon some day. I've heard good things. It's the one food I'm looking forward to having for the first time.

One million pennies. Crazy, but cool.

Let your waves crash down on me and take me away.