Friday, January 18, 2008

Far beyond gone

How did I get here, and what went wrong?

I guess it started after I turned 11 and started paying attention to girls. For almost 16 years, I've been obsessing about finding one. Like my life is going to be incomplete without finding that one special person. It's the only thing I want right now. I'm miserable. Finding someone will make me happy. I'm absolutely, positively guaranteed of it.

I thought I found her too. How could I be such an idiot and let a stupid little thing like religion stop us from being together...?

And everyone else knows it too. Friends, family members, co-workers. "You need a woman." Yeah, duh. Wish they'd actually do something about it. They talk about hooking me up, but I don't get no love.

Yet they also keep telling me "you're going to find her when you least expect, when you're not looking for her." I'm sorry, but that just doesn't make any sense to me. You find things be LOOKING for them. You just don't sit around and wait for things to find you. And it's easy for them to say that; they're done searching.

North Dakota isn't the best place to search. People seem to find each other at a younger age. Get married young, start families young, break up young (I want to avoid baggage like ex's and kids, if at all possible...). I need to get out of Dodge...

I'm tired of seeing couples everywhere I look. Even it would only be for one day, I want to connect with someone, be with someone, be there for someone.

It'd be so much easier if women were property. I'm not saying that they should be, but if they were, all I'd have to do is buy one. I can buy things. But not happiness...

Jump in the water
Jump in with me
Jump on the altar
Lay down with me

My hardest question
To answer is


Someone save me if you will
And take away all these pills
And please just save me, if you can
From the blasphemy in my wasteland

Some one save me
Some one save me
Some one save me
Somebody save me
Somebody save me
Please don't erase me

- Save Me, Shinedown

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Truer words have never been spoken

"I don't need to manage my anger, I need people to stop ticking me off!" - Red Green
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