As opposed to...?

I believe I saw an issue of "The Atlantic" with the cover story "Pay to Play", talking about the increasing costs of kids joining traveling teams for various sports.

I don't understand what the problem is here...

As best as I can remember, we (my family and I) had to pay for me to join sporting competitions...

Was that not the case for you?

Ever since I was five (5), it cost money to participate.  How else are the coaches supposed to get paid for their work?  $10 to play T-Ball in the hellhole I grew up in.  Also had to pay for school teams as well, not just those run by the town's parks department.

Same for school teams too.  Ten or twenty dollars for football or basketball.

Sure, once you were playing on the varsity squad, people had to pay to get INTO the games...

And granted, once I moved out to the Marshall Islands, I didn't have to worry about participation fees.  We usually bought new uniforms with our own money year to year, because the school didn't provide us with any (as we were the only school on base, and we'd occasionally play some of the schools with native Marshallese in the base's rec leagues, AGAINST ADULTS (who had to pay an entry fee).  If the school wasn't covering that, I bet we would have to pay like the grownups...

If I recall correctly, the story in "The Atlantic: was talking about the rising costs of kids being on travel teams.  That there was some kind of possibility that some kids would get priced out of being on the team.  But that wouldn't be the end of the line...  Right?  A kid can't afford to be on a travel team..  

OK, fine, they go play on the school's varsity team(s)...

Or is that not the case?  I don't have kids, so I wouldn't know what's going on first hand.  I don't have to help them go through the grind to tryout, buy gear to play, drive to games across the state (especially one as big as California)...

Does anyone have experience that they could shed some light for me?

To me, "Pay to Play" is how it's SUPPOSED to work.  Where and when has that ever been any different?

P.S. - If you can direct me to a digital link to read the article in "The Atlantic", I'd appreciate it.  Thank you...

WANTED: New owners

It's June in United States, which means it's time to fish or cut bait in Major League Baseball.  Unfortunately, the Minnesota Twins are going to cut bait.  AGAIN.

I've so fucking sick and tired of the Pohlad family running that team into the ground.  I refuse to watch any more games until they get new ownership, which will probably happen about a quarter to...  NEVER.

Here's my top ten for who'd make better owners than the descendants of Carl Pohlad, who made his fortune foreclosing farms in the North Star State during the Great Depression

10.    The dead corpse of Kirby Puckett.  Sure, he did some fucked up shit before he left the organization in 2002, but his bones or ashes or whatever became of his body has already done a better job of running the Twins than Carl, Jim, Tom, or even Eloise has ever or will ever done.

9.    Rachel Phelps.  The fictional owner of the Cleveland Indians in the "Major League" series of comedy films from the late '80s and early '90s who wanted to get the attendance of the team so low that it'd absolve the team of their contract with Cleveland Municipal Stadium and allow them to move to Miami.  She was a real piece of shit, but at least she inspired her team to win just to spite her.

Apparently, Calvin Griffin, former owner of the Twins before he sold them to Carl circa 1984, was the inspiration for first movie "Major League", as he had an escape clause after the Twins moved into the Metrodome where *HE* could move the team out of Minneapolis if *THEIR* attendance sufficiently dropped.

8.    Grand Nagus Rom.  You're going to notice a pattern here with most of the names on this list...

If you didn't follow Star Trek, he became the head of the ultracapitalist Ferengi society after Zek, the previous Grand Nagus retired to be with his (Rom's) mother.  Before Zek's retirement, his Ferengi brethren were some of the most sexist, chauvinistic, and greedy people in the Milky Way galaxy, but Rom, as their new leader of commerce was going to bring MASSIVE changes to their society, much to the chagrin of his old, stereotypical Ferengi brother Quark.

Being as atypical of his species as possible, he'd do a much better job of running the Twins than any Pohlad EVER.

7.    Buddy.  He's one of the two cats my wife Amy and I own.  He'd six years old, and a complete brain case.  We joke he only has a single brain cell, and that's being AWFULLY generous.  He gets scared of everything, including but not limited to, his own shadow, Daisy (the other cat we own), loud noises, the lightning storms in his head, his toys, his food, and himself.  Regardless, he couldn't do any WORSE than a Pohlad.

6.    Alex Rodriguez.

I hate the guy.  The steroids, playing for the Yankees...  I'm sure I have other reasons for hating him..

He co-owns the Minnesota Timberwolves, and they've been fairly good the last couple of years, so it's not like he's TOTALLY incompetent, and hopefully that's because he keeps his hands off.  Additionally, he's one of the few people on this earth is MORE hated than current Twins ownership.

5.    The Joker.  Yup, the Clown Prince of Crime from Gotham, whose primary role in the DC Universe is to cause havoc and destruction for Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, and the rest of the DC universe have to combat on a regular basis.  Still, he also COULD NOT DO ANY WORSE than the Two Faced villains currently in charge.

4.    Luke Edwards.  The former child actor played Billy Heywood in "Little Big League", where he inherited ownership of the Twins after his grandfather, team owner Thomas Heywood (played by Jason Robards) passes away.  After becoming owner, he installed himself as team manager after firing Dennis Farina's character and lead them to a one game playoff against the Seattle Mariners for the American League Wild Card spot.  That's good enough in my book in terms of qualifications for ownership, especially compared to the little "men" currently in possession of the Twin Cities' MLB team.

He's also got the benefit of his mother being played by Ashley Crow, the ACTUAL mother of current Chicago Cub Peter Crow-Armstrong.

3.    A.J. Pierzynski.  Sure, he kinda became a villain in Minnesota after he became a Chicago White Sox, and especially after he got a World Series ring with them in 2005, after a local kid took his spot behind the plate (Joe Mauer).  But I'd still pick Anthony John Pierzynski over Carl and his ilk.

2.    Roger Dorn.  The last fictional character on our list, he ACTUALLY became owner of the Twins in the direct to video "Major League: Back to the Minors" release starring Scott Bakula.  He might have had a shortstop and a second baseman who hadn't turned a double play in nearly a month because one had a bigger shoe contract than the other, but Twins issues were peanuts compared to what is happening in the Minnesota front office and their balance sheets right now.

1.    ME!!   Seriously, I could do a much better job with a single nickel, which is way lessthan what the Twins are worth right now (and the hundreds of millions the Pohlads' want for their squad in the open market).  Five cents may be OVERPRICED, given how well the Twins have done since they set Target Field on fire nearly a year ago.  But I'm sure I could do more with that nickel than the Pohlad clan have ever done with their BILLIONS...

Call your loved ones and tell them you love them, because the world is coming to an end…

AGAIN!!!

Moorhead High School in Minnesota REPEATS as state champions at the highest level (AA).

A 5-4 winner over Minnetonka IN DOUBLE OVERTIME.

They had lost in the champion game EIGHT TIMES since 1991, but to win TWO IN A ROW?!??

**WE.  ARE.  BONED.**

I expect the world to explode at any moment…

If Moorhead winning twice in a row isn’t unlocking the seventh seal to hell, I don’t know what is…

If you wanna check out the game-winning gold, here's the link: https://youtu.be/0X2-GukYFMI?si=SIH7DmZdECwE8eKS

Thanks, that was fun

WAS fun...

The 2026 Winter Olympics are over.  And it ended exceptionally well.  For the first time in my lifetime, the United States of America won gold, scoring the game winning goal in overtime over Canada.

It was a great thing to see.  Until some lifesize assholes decided to politicize it.

The head of the FBI, who had no BUSINESSS being there, crashes the celebration in the locker room and helps himself to a beer.

Then the president calls to congratulate the team.  and complains about the women's team, WHO ALSO WON GOLD IN OVERTIME, wanting equal time.  Or any time really...

Never at any point was it about the athletes' accomplishments.  It was about the powers that be, what THEY wanted, what THEY thought THEY deserved...

Worse, some of the men accepted the orange one's invitation to the White House on their way back to play in the NHL.  Some as early as TOMORROW...

The women did not accept their invite, but Flavor Flav has them covered.  He'll hold a celebration with them once their season is done in...  May? (I assume that's when the PWHL is done for the year).  Some of them have to go back to school, as they are still playing in the NCAA.  Their season will be done in a few weeks, but they'll still be working for degrees at their various universities, and (I assume) will not be done until May (as well).

It's no skin off my ass.  I don't watch the NHL.  Haven't since they cancelled the 2004-05 season.  They don't need my money either.

I'd love to be in Vegas when Flav honors the women's team this summer.  Considering how he's celebrated the accomplishments of others, I'd love to see it go down.

If I end up dead after this is published, I'm also posting it on Discord and Tumblr.  Good luck trying to remove it from there...

Slow progress is still progress

 I see people on social media sites complaining about the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers  minor bowls against middle of the road teams and say that P.J. Fleck doesn't deserve the credit he gets after leading them to their NINTH consecutive victory.

Would you prefer that they NOT play bowl games and maybe only win two or three games a year?!?!

Yes, they've got a long way to go to get up to the national level with the likes of Michigan, Ohio State, and Penn State, but do you really wanna deal with those headaches that come with being the big dogs?

I know Michigan and Ohio State have won the last two NCAA "national championships".  And the hill got MUCH steeper when Oregon and USC joined the Big Ten.

For now, I'm good with no longer being the punching bags, the laughing stocks, or the runts of the litter.  People have to give them a *LITTLE* respect, and those iotas are much greater than zero.

Can Minnesota do better?  Yes, they could.  It's gonna take time.  And I've got plenty of patience.  Gopher football season is no longer the "wait until hockey starts" transition period between the start of the school year and the puck drops at Mariucci and Ridder Arenas.  It means something now.  I'll gladly take that.

It take time to become golden.  But compared to what they were in the days before they started rowing the boat?  I'll gladly be not shit...

Row the boat, Ski-U-Mah, and Go Gophers.

You're all a bunch of Nazi, conformist cheerleaders...

I don't know how all you people can watch college football AND criticize the BCS system. Pick one or the other.

You hypocrites sicken me...

Having a Blast (or five)

I've been on a huge Green Day high the last couple of months. No, not Mary Jane, but the band. Partly because their recent commercial success permanently solidified them as my #3 band, but I'd also like to think it's because my Minnesota Twins have battled back from being 3.5 GB of Chicago to leapfrog them and Detroit for the AL Central lead. It'd had me thinking about one of my many fantasies: becoming the first player in MLB history to hit 5 (yes, FIVE) home runs in a game.

I know I stated that if I were a closer in the majors, I'd come onto the field to The Who's "Baba O'Riley". As a position player, however, I'd go with Green Day hits for my plate appearances. I'd rotate through a list of ten or twenty, including (but not limited to) "American Idiot", "Who Wrote Holden Caufield?", "Basket Case". The intros for each song would be played as I make my way from the on deck circle to home plate. If I were to hit a home run, the guitar solo would come over the sound system as I'm rounding the bases, greeting my teammates at home plate, and going back into the dugout. For my place in history, I'd go with these five, in order of game progression (first song for first plate appearance, etc.).

Picture a warm, early September afternoon at Target Field (or maybe Busch Stadium)...

** Geek Stink Breath - A power packed song to get the day started. Something to get the crowd going with a lot of energy (and they're going to need it). I'd start off with a solo home run in the 1st to give my team the early lead.
** Holiday - More energy for more power. And it'd work. A two-run shot in the third breaks the tie and puts us on top once again. Score at this point would be 3-1.
** When I Come Around - Take the tempo down a little bit. Try to play it cool from having a good day at the dish. This fifth inning, three-run homer would increase our team's lead to 6-2. After this third round-tripper, the fans would be giving me a standing ovation, and I'd come out of the dugout non-chalantly for a curtain call. I don't know why they'd be so into it. The game's far from over (as they'll soon find out), and plenty of people hit three home runs in a game all the time. Big deal...
** J.A.R. (Jason Andrew Relva) - Here's where things get interesting. Our opponent has battled back and taken an 8-7 lead on us. I'm coming up in the seventh, with a man on second and a shot at the record books. Only 15 men have accomplished this feat in MLB. With one swing, I become #16 and put us back in front 9-8. I get another standing ovation from the crowd and acknowledge it, showing a little more emotion about it compared to the last one.
** Hitchin' a Ride - That lead became short lived. Our opponent is up 11-9 heading into the bottom of the ninth. I come up with two outs, bases loaded. After a first-pitch ball, their closer fools me once with a nasty slider I swing at (shame on him), then catches me looking at a sweeping curve (shame on me). One more pitch to decide the whole thing. I swing and connect with his next offering, a fastball on the outside part of the plate. I start a VERY slow trot down the line, while I and everyone else in the stadium (including those of us on the field) watch the flight of the ball to left center field, the stringed portion at the end of the bridge comes on the speakers. As the ball clears the fence and lands, Billie Joe screams "SHIT!" and the solo kicks in. Everyone is going crazy. I jump for joy once on my way to first, then shake my right fist as I head to second. I give a big Kirby Puckett-esque fist pump on my way to third, then make the turn home where my teammates are awaiting. They've got a nice three-foot radius cleared out for me. After I touch home plate and raise both my arms in the air in celebration of our 13-11 win, we do a World Series-caliber jumping group hug/mob (like Joe Carter and the 1993 Toronto Blue Jays).

I stay on the field for a few minutes to take it all in, maybe give an interview (where I don't want to talk about my accomplishment, but how we won an important game to put us in prime position in our run into the playoffs). We ride the high of that game into the division lead, League Divison and Championship Series, and finally a World Series victory.

Certaintly a VERY far-fetched dream. But hey, it's for the love of the game, so it's OK.

Best idea ever!!

First Mark Cuban tried to buy the Cubs.

Then he tried to buy the Rangers.

I think Cuban should go after the Dodgers next. Try to save them from the divorce of Frank and Jamie McCourt, like the bankruptcy of Chicago and Texas. One of the biggest media markets in America? Flashy Los Angeles? A team with a very rich history? It'd be perfect!! Exactly what the Dodgers need to get to and stay on baseball's top tier in the current age.

Dome Sweet Dome

As I right this, the Minnesota Twins should be hosting the Baltimore Orioles in the second of a four-game series. Mother Nature had other ideas, as the Twins have been rained out for the first time in almost thirty years.

How was that possible? Easily. The Metrodome. In my opinion, it went before it's time. Sure, it still stands, but the Twins don't play there anymore. It's a shame, really. That place holds so many fond baseball memories...

It's where I saw my first MLB game. Wednesday, August 12th, 1992. Minnesota's just two games back of the Oakland Athletics (their primary rival of the late '80s and early '90s, but that's another story for another day). Minnesota was hosting the Texas Rangers. Closer Rick Aguilera gave up a three-run homer to Juan Gonzalez in the top of the ninth to blow the save and lose the game 5-3. The thing I remember most was the guy in the row behind me, pretending to read a story out of the back-to-school binders handed out to schoolchildren for that evening's promotion, about how Aguilera was the goat after that home run. I still have my binder from that night, and it's currently holding my Twins baseball cards.

I think I ended up seeing at least 8 Twins game at the Dome before they moved out at the end of 2009. I still have all my ticket stubs (except that first one) for those games. Every time I have visited the Twin Cities in my adult life, I've tried to talk my friends into catching a game there. I felt that every time I was in town and we didn't see a game was a wasted trip. My friends Paul and Nikki didn't want to go when I was in the Cities in '04 (Joe Mauer's rookie year) to try out for Jeopardy! No one wanted to see them play the Yankees the day after those two got married in '05. So disappointing...

But my love for that place goes beyond my personal visits. It's about the greatest Twins player of my generation, Kirby Puckett. Game 6 in the '91 World Series? The man single-handedly wins the game staving off elimination and setting up the final chapter of the most historic World Series ever. I hated to see him go too, first into retirement with glaucoma in '96, then into the next life with a stroke in '06.

I could go on. The Baggy in right field. The Plexiglass in left. The turf. Pale Hoser manager Ozzie Guillen bitchin' about the turf and the Piranhas using it to their advantage. "Little Big League" and "Major League: Back to the Minors". The heir to the throne in center field, Torii Hunter, making amazing plays on a near-nightly basis, earning seven straight gold gloves in a Minnesota uniform. The roof messing with opposing outfields. Game 163.

I cannot wait to see a game at Target Field this summer, even if it does get rained out. Baseball is meant to be played outside. I've watched almost every game on TV so far this year, and it looks great. Nothing short of amazing. The house that Mauer will build will serve this team very well for the years and decades to come.

But I'll never forget my first love. The Metrodome holds a very special place in my heart. It will always be my Dome Sweet Dome...

Fritz's Golf Tips

It's spring, so that can only mean one thing. Golf courses around the Midwest are starting to open up. I'd like to take this opportunity to provide some tips on improving your game, from the lessons I've learned over the past three years.

1. Slicing the ball? Close your club face (rotate it towards your front foot) and open your stance (move your front foot back).
   
2. Topping the ball? If you're hitting the top of the ball on your drives, raise the height at which you tee off. I suggest using longer tees. If you're topping the ball on the fairways, from the rough, or in the bunker, choke up on the club and/or stand closer to the ball.
   
3. Focus on a smooth, fluid swing. Don't try to kill the ball.
   
4. If you wanna go Happy Gilmore-style, make sure you make good contact with the ball. Again, don't try to hit the bejeezus out of it, just keep your eye on the ball.
   
5. And keep your eye on the ball. If you swung and whiffed or otherwise hit the ball wrong, you probably took your eye off the ball.
   
6. The sign of a good drive? A broken tee. (Thanks for that tip, Dad).
   

Most of all, do not forget the words of the philosopher Kennedy: "The moment you stop learning to play golf is the moment you stop playing golf."

FIX IT!! DO IT!!

BCS: Bullshit "Championship" System. Broken Clusterfuck System. Bowl Catastrophe System. Get the picture?

Nearly everyone I know and listen to agrees. The system we use to determine who plays for the national championship of college football is crap.

And yes, I've complained about this before. There was USC getting snuffed in 2003 after going undefeated, but the Sugar Bowl picked one-loss Oklahoma to play LSU for the title. Playing as the Golden Gophers in Super Play Action Football on my SNES. Agreeing with ESPN's Rick Reilly that the true national champion for the 2008 season should be the University of Utah, last year's only undefeated team after it was all said and done.

"OK, Paul, let's see YOU come up with a better system..." I thought you'd never ask!!

Obvious solution: a playoff. Every other sport, at every other level in the NCAA, uses a playoff and bracket system to deliver two teams to a true national championship game. Do you know who awards the championships for Division I-A football? The Associated Press and the American Football Coaches Association. A news agency and a couple handfuls of college coaches. You know who should be deciding it? The kids on the field busting their asses to win! There is no official NCAA Division I-A champion, but there are for Divisions I-AA, II, and III.

And just think, what an honor it would be to be able to claim to be the FIRST NCAA Champion? You don't think a Michigan or Texas or USC or Florida wouldn't want that? I know I would. That'd be huge!! The recruits you would bring in, the annuls of history you'd be included in, the press, the exposure, the stardom. Who wouldn't want that?

We can still keep the BCS Standings, but let's use them in the same way college basketball uses RPI to seed the bracket. March Madness generates buzz after Selection Sunday about teams that maybe don't deserve to be in and those who should be but aren't. You'd get about the same amount of discussion after the NCAA football tourney is filled out.

"But what about the traditional bowl system? Some of those games have been around for decades! You're not going to throw away all that history, are you?" Of course not. Teams that get knocked out the playoffs can still go to bowl games.

I've got two ways the playoff can be done:

Solution A: Ten teams. Automatic bids given to the six BCS conferences. Four at-large bids based on BCS rankings. Teams seeded 1-6 get first round byes. 7 vs. 10 and 8 vs. 9, winners play the 2 and 1 seeds, respectively. Four rounds, with a bye week between the semifinals and championship game. As teams are knocked out, they receive invites to their traditional bowls. In this situation, your bowls are Rose, Fiesta, Cotton (the next most prestigious bowl after the current BCS 4, IMO), Sugar, and Orange. The championship game rotates between those five.

For 2009, your ten teams in the playoffs would be the top 10 from the BCS standings, seeded as follows (highest to lowest): Alabama, Texas, Cincinnati, TCU, Florida, Boise State, Oregon, Ohio State, Georgia Tech, and Iowa. First round is Oregon against Iowa and Ohio State versus Georgia Tech. Winners of those games face Texas and Alabama, respectively. The other two quarterfinals have Cincinnati/Boise St. and TCU/Florida.

Side note: if the BCS conferences wanted to cheat and only give the first through sixth seeds to their conference champions, Nos. 3-9 would be Oregon, Ohio St., Georgia Tech, TCU, Florida, Boise State. It'd be dirty, but I might be able to live with that.

Solution B: Sixteen teams. Automatic bids are given to ALL 11 Division I-A conference champions. Five at-large bids and overall seeding are again determined by BCS standings. The national champion game is a separate game from the rest of the bowls, but rotates between multiple locations (as is the current practice).

This year, in addition to the top ten teams in the BCS standings making the playoffs (as described above), the 16-team field would include the next top three, Virginia Tech, LSU, and Penn State, in addition to conference champions East Carolina (Conference USA), Central Michigan (MAC), and Troy (Sun Belt). Those three teams would be ranked 14-16, in some order (none were included in the top 25 in the BCS). Again, traditional bowl invites are handed out as teams are eliminated.

In both scenarios, traditional bowls are played during the bye week between the final two rounds. You also give teams from the non-BCS conferences a shot at the championship, which has been a real issue over the last 5 years with the success of teams like Boise State, Utah, TCU, and Hawai'i.

---

I'd also like to propose the additional changes to college football in general:

1. The Big Ten either plays a full conference schedule or split into two divisions. Just like every other BCS conference. Currently, Big Ten teams only play eight intra-conference games a year. Either way, this would eliminate the possibility of a shared conference championship between two teams who'd go undefeated.

Yes, I am aware that the Big Ten has 11 teams, and would therefore have unbalanced divisions (6 and 5). However, the Mid-American Conference has 7 and 6 for their divisions, so it wouldn't be unprecedented. I propose a Big Ten East with Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State, Indiana, Purdue, and Penn State and a Big Ten West with Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, Illinois, and Northwestern. If you absolutely need a 12th team, try to get Norte Dame and put them out West.

This would also remove another pet peeve of mine caused by Big Ten football. Their football season pretty much ends the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Mostly everyone else is still playing into the first week of December (mostly just conference championship games).

2. Regular season runs from the first Saturday in September until the first Saturday in December. That last week is reserved for conference championships, or for those conferences without divisions, finishing a full conference schedule. That's 14 weeks of games, with 1-2 off weeks for each team. Playoffs start the following weekend and run through the rest of the year. Bowl games for teams that did not make the playoffs begin the same week the second round is played. Bowl games for eliminated teams do not begin until January 1st. The National Championship game is the last game of the season.

3. No bowl games for any team that does not win at least 8 games or is not a conference champion. Sorry Wyoming, Southern Miss., SMU, Marshall, Kentucky, Texas A&M, Georgia, Army/UCLA (one of them would otherwise be in the EagleBank Bowl), Bowling Green, Idaho, Air Force, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Iowa St., Tennessee, Auburn, Florida St., South Florida, Northern Illinois, UConn, South Carolina, Arkansas, and Michigan St. You'd be staying home this year. Since it'd be an uneven 23 teams, an eight-win team would also lose a bowl bid.

That would leave you with 44 eligible teams and 22 bowls. I'd still say that's too many. Cut it down even further. If you get rid off all the eight-win teams this year, you're left with 28 teams for 14 games. I'd be fine with 15-20 bowls. But no more than 20. Ever. Get rid of the newer ones and just keep those that have been around longer.

4. No more cupcakes!! Limit each team to one (1) Division I-AA opponent per season. Sure, App. State's upset of Michigan in the Big House in 2007 was awesome, but that's not happening ever again. This would also help whittle down the number of bowl-eligible teams by making them schedule tougher opponents.

5. I strongly suggest that Notre Dame joins a conference. Sure they can stay independent, but it may help them rebuild their program to be able to win a conference championship and make the playoffs. In my opinion, the Irish have fallen from the top ranks of college football since that 1993 loss to Boston College, one week after beating Florida State in a No. 1 vs. No. 2 matchup. They've only won two of the eleven bowl games they appeared in since then (1994 Cotton and 2008 Hawai'i). They don't have to join a conference, but I'd recommend the Big Ten or Big East.

That pretty much covers everything that I think is wrong with college football. Love it? Hate it? I'd like to hear what you think.

Until then, just turn those bowl games off and watch something else. That'll teach 'em to fix it. Maybe if we act like we don't care, they will fix it...

The Democrats are ruining America

President Barack Obama and his cronies are running this country into the ground.

I, like many conservatives, are worried that the Democrats are going to "fix" America by redistributing wealth. Going all Robin Hood-style on the rich and giving to the poor. Punishing financial success. Not allowing capitalism to do its job.

This would be all fine and dandy, but there's one area where they won't do a thing about it. One industry where they'll let the big spenders run rampant. Doing nothing to level the playing, both figuratively AND literally.

Major League Baseball.

Obama's been in office for one year, and the New York Yankees are the 2009 World Series champions. And they have the biggest payroll in baseball, and a new billion dollar stadium to go with it.

Those Democrats are fuckin' hypocrites...

You think I'm crazy? You be the judge...

In the Reagan-Bush years, from 1981 to 1992, the New York Yankees only appeared in the '81 World Series, losing in 6 games to the Los Angeles Dodgers. During the Republicans' time in the White House, 17 different teams appeared World Series (9 A.L. and 8 N.L.). Ten different champions during that time, with only Los Angeles and Minnesota winning multiple titles. There was no crazy free agent spending. Every team had players worthy of being on the All Star team. 20 teams would come into spring training each year with a reasonable chance of winning the World Series. It was wide open. Available to anyone for the taking, the way it should be. What a glorious time for baseball...

Then, Bill Clinton took office in 1993, and everything went to hell. That season, the Yankees went from a 76 win team to an 88 win team, a twelve-game turnaround, finishing 7 back of eventual World Series champion Toronto. In 1994, they were in first place in the A.L. East by 6.5 games over Baltimore before the strike cancelled the season. They made the playoffs every year through the rest of Clinton's two terms, winning four division titles (and two wild card spots). Each time they won the East, they went on to win the World Series, going 16-3 in those four contests. No one else had a chance. New York was loading up on free agents, getting the best that money could buy. Small-market teams who had great success in the 80's, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Minnesota, Cincinnati, Milwaukee; they didn't even have a chance. I was disgusted.

Fortunately, it all came to an end in 2000. George W. Bush took control, and the Yankees were over. Only two world series appearances; 2001 and 2003. Lost 'em both. To expansion teams from the 90's!! It was great. The Yankees continued to attempt to buy the championship each year, but to no success. The Republican from Texas had fixed baseball, and all was right with the world once again.

Still think I'm nuts? I'll go on!!

The Yankees won twice while Jimmy Carter was in the White House, back-to-back in '77 and '78. They were swept in '76 while Gerald Ford was at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and didn't even get there when Richard Nixon was living at that address. And although New York did not get to the World Series with Lyndon Johnson in office, they won twice in three appearances under the Kennedy administration. In fact, the last time the Yankees won a World Series while the GOP held power in the executive branch? 1958, during the Eisenhower administation, when they beat the Milwaukee Braves in seven games.

Fuckin' Democrats. If it means keeping the Yankees out of the White House, I'll gladly vote Republican for the rest of my life.

Now is the winter of our discontent

I don't ask for much in this world. A woman to love me. A job I don't hate. Enough money where I can do almost anything I want (within the limits of the law). Immortality.

But for now, I'd settle for a Minnesota Twins World Series Championship. Yes, it's happened twice in my lifetime, but I was 6 and 10 when they won it all. I don't remember watching any of those games, I have no memory of those wins. It's almost as if it didn't happen.

I've seen my football team win the Super Bowl. I've seen my hockey team win a Stanley Cup. I'd like to complete the trifecta in my adult lifetime. Philadelphia did it. St. Louis did it. Boston did it. Florida did it. Even the goddamn Chicago White Sox did it. Why can't Minnesota?

I'll do anything to see it just ONCE. I'll give up all my worldly possessions. I'll find God. I'll sell my soul to Satan. Hell, I'll even become a Vikings fan...

It's going to be a LONG and COLD winter...

This could solve a lot of problems...

Ever since he blew out his knee his rookie season, people are saying that the Minnesota Twins move catcher Joe Mauer to first base. Of course, with Justin Morneau, that's not an option. You're not going to fire your hometown star player's best friend and give him his old job. That wouldn't end well.

If you're seriously going to move Joe from behind the plate, put him at 3rd. He played it in high school, and the Twins haven't had a real third baseman since Corey Koskie. You could solve everyone's problems. Keep Justin at first, get a power-hitting third baseman, keep Cuddyer in right, Kubel DH'ing. Just do it already.

Two birds with one stone

After watching large portions of it over the last week, I have decided that Jerry Maguire IS NOT a football movie.

However, I will add it to my list of good Tom Cruise movies. That brings the total to 3.

It's just not natural

I love symmetry. When things don't look symmetric, it just bothers the hell out of me.

And no assymetrical things bother me more than major league baseball stadiums. I don't mind the fact that Wrigley Field != Fenway Park != Miller Park. But when left and right fields have completely different dimensions? Ugh...

Thank god for Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City, Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum in Oakland, and Rogers Centre in Toronto.

I don't know why lefties and righties have to contend with different depths in the outfield to hit balls out...

My REAL problem with Barack Obama

It's not that he's a democrat. Or that he's black. Or that he's going to run this country into the ground.

My REAL problem is that he's a goddamn White Sox fan.

Forget you, Mr. President. My Twins are going to whoop on you and your pale hosers in the second half. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure of that...

Better lucky than good

This never should have happened, but it did.

USA 2, Spain 0.

America upset the #1 team in the world. Just watch the video highlights from this match. Both goals and over a half dozen saves by goalkeeper Tim Howard. Amazing play by my fellow Yanks.

If they can keep this up for the next 14-15 months and NOT SUCK at the World Cup next year... Maybe 2010 is our year...

Addendum

If Albert Pujols does get to 800 home runs (see rant here), I say forgo the 5-year wait for him to go into the Hall of Fame. Just to rub some extra salt into the wounds of those who may not get there, due to their tainted accomplishments.

A handful of redemption

Ever since I was 9 or 10, the town of Carrington, ND turned on me. I hate that place. Still do. Not so much the location itself, but all the assholes that used to live there and give me a hard time. There's fewer things I'd love to do more than cause physical pain and destruction to those who inflicted emotional pain on me.

But this story isn't about them. Not really. My dad's 50th birthday is tomorrow, so I drove to Carrington this morning to take him and his best friend Pete golfing at Cross Roads, the fairly new 18-hole course in town.

I must say, I was impressed. It was a really nice course. Good condition. Wide open. Green. A lot nicer than the rest of town (which looks small and run down).

Ironically, it also turned out to be the site of my first birdie. EVER!! On the par-4 13th, I drove my tee shot about 200 yards (but to the right of the fairway), put my second shot with my sand wedge within a few feet of the hole, and nailed the putt for the bird.

I shot a 103, but I'm happy. My dad got a birdie on the final hole as well. Good times were had by all.

I may still have a bitter taste in my mouth from all Carrington has done to me. But I'll play golf there again. I think I can break 100...