Wednesday, June 30, 2004

When people in a commercial talk about "this website", and no one explicitly says what the website is, you know it has to reek of no good.

I never thought I could do it, nor ever wanted to do it, but I was able to drive down to and within the Twin Cities. I was so nervous, scared, and anxious before getting in the car, but once I got on the road, my worries decreased a lot. Thank god for Yahoo! Maps, easy-to-follow driving directions, and big, simple road signs.

On the way down, I saw so many out-of-state license plates, I could have destroyed at License Plate Bingo. Washington, Oregon, Nebraska, Missouri, Mississippi, Connecticut, Alaska. Even Canadian provinces Alberta and Saskatchewan. On the way back, I also spotted Wisconsin (I saw it in Fargo, so it counts), Kentucky, Tennessee, Connecticut, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania.

You know, I really have to sit down and try salmon some day. I've heard good things. It's the one food I'm looking forward to having for the first time.

One million pennies. Crazy, but cool.

Let your waves crash down on me and take me away.

Monday, June 28, 2004

A few more comments about movies coming out this summer...

I, Robot: Call it what it is. The sequel to Independence Day.
Anchorman: Will Farrell is probably the most successful ex-SNLer to launch a movie career since Mike Myers
Spider-Man 2: This WILL be the coolest movie of the summer. Columbia Pictures hit a gold mine when it made movies based off of Marvel Comics the last 5 years.

Could you imagine superheroes following proper police procedure? Batman, Superman, Spider-Man all sitting at desks, or collecting evidence, or talking to the DA. Bizarre.

Yeah, this IS what I think about when I'm sitting around and doing nothing.

This may have been previously analyzed by many before me, but I'll just point it out to refresh your memory. Brian and Stewie have a unique relationship. Brian is the only one who understands Stewie. Stewie appreciates this (although he doesn't show it often), but also recognizes that Brian is his greatest threat.

Spell Check. It's a good thing.

Two of the greatest words in the English language: Play ball.

Friday, June 25, 2004

I GOT A JOB!! w00t!!

No longer will I stress and worry about finding employment. Now, I can stress and worry about KEEPING employment.

So, what's with this trend in music to put a terrible vocalist with an otherwise good band. Maroon 5 without their singer would be good. But that guy is horrible. He should change his tone or pitch or whatever so he doesn't suck anymore. Better yet, replace him. Same goes for Modest Mouse in their song "Float On".

Speaking of music, is P.O.D. capable of writing/recording/performing a decent WHOLE song? They can come so close to hitting the mark, but then things go awfully awry. A song can go from good to suck in just a few notes.

Here's something that's been bothering me for a while. If mergers work so well for businesses, why don't you see charities doing the same thing? I'm sure they can cut considerable costs by dumping high-ranking management, reducing office space, and buying office supplies in larger bulk amounts. Instead of 100 institutions doing AIDS research, you can have 8. And those 8 would get a whole lot more done than 100 separate charities. It's win-win.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

So, who is older? Pugsley or Wednesday Addams? In the movies made during the early to mid 90's, Wednesday seems to come off as the older one (via intelligence and having more control in situations with her brother), but seeing the old TV show on TV Land as I surf the channels, Pugsely looks older (due to his large size).

You know that a sketch and variety show is bad when they have to start parodying characters from OTHER variety shows. COUGH*madtv*COUGH...

I'd say I hate SUVs as much as the average person. They're big gas guzzlers. They're trendy. I'd say 80-90% of people who own them don't have a good enough reason to own one. Those people aren't making good decisions. If you need storage and hauling capacity, buy a pick-up truck. If you need to transport kids, get a minivan. If you need to transport adults, get a mid-size car. If you need to take several adults (5+), take two or more vehicles. You don't need an SUV if you never take it out of the city. You almost never need one, period.

However, radical eco-terrorists are not right either. Just because you object to something, doesn't mean you can vandalize and destroy it. Spray painting the vehicles in the dealer lots is also wrong.

Thank you MTV, for declaring the word "bling" and phrase "bling-bling" dead. People, especially everyone, should be beaten for using the term(s).

I think I like the bright green traffic lights more than the older, duller green lights.

Who else wants to skewer and roast Michael Moore alive? What an asshole. Don't go see his movie. Ever. In fact, make a sign, picket outside your local movie theater, and dissuade fellow moviegoers from seeing his movie(s).

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Does anyone else want a "Marvel" soundtrack? Let's take a look on the list of movies based on Marvel Comics in the past few years: X-Men 1 and 2, Spider-Man 1 and 2, The Hulk, Daredevil, The Punisher. There's going to be another Spider-Man and X-Men movie, plus an Iron Man movie and a Fantastic Four movie. There were so many great songs on the Daredevil Soundtrack. The Punisher has the Seether song (the one with Amy Lee). Spider-Man had some good tracks too. Toss in some of the best musical scores, and you've got a record that could sell at least 5 million copies.

Target is superior to Wal-Mart in every way, except the electronics department. Wal-Mart has it closed off, self-contained, and very organized. Other than that, Target is way better.

I got a -4 (4 under par) playing Frisbee Golf yesterday. I got birdie on 1, 3, 6, and 12. The conditions were perfect. The air temperature was in the 65-70 range. Some cloud cover. Barely any mosquitoes. The ground was just wet enough so that the discs would die when they hit the ground instead of rolling forever. I had great tee shots, getting exceptional distance on my overhand toss (which, for me, is more accurate and farther than a standard frisbee throw). Every time I did make a less-than-stellar stroke, I was able to recover on the very next shot. And my putting was flawless. My friend Tyler also got a -4. He birdied the last hole, a par 5, to tie me at the end. If we had more time to play, we would have went to a playoff. I think he would have won it. It's probably going to be my best game ever, and I don't think I'll ever play that well again. I had a great time.

I found this great web site on the Internet yesterday. The Brickshelf Library is an online archive of Lego instruction manuals. It's so cool. I can download copies of the manuals I already have, and some that I lost years ago. The scan quality is good, but not great. Very readable, but inconsistent (various Lego fans scan and submit the manuals themselves). The best part is that I don't have to do it. Someone else has already done it for me.

I'm willing to bet that over 98% of Americans don't know the words to their respective state song. Which is why they should play "Know Your State Song Lyrics" on Letterman. Or go Jaywalking and ask people at Universal Studios in Hollywood. Possibly even hand out $100 bills to people who DO know the words. I think it would be a good sketch for a late night talk show.

Yes, even better than "Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland".

Silly Finland...

Monday, June 14, 2004

Did anyone notice the similarities between Charlie Brown trading Snoopy, his best player, to Peppermint Patty's team for 5 players during Saturday evening's broadcast of the "Peanuts" Special, "Lucy Must Be Traded", and what the Kansas City Royals will do with Carlos Beltran this summer?

Lenny Kravitz promoting NASCAR. You're kidding, right? He's practically the exact opposite of the average NASCAR fan. I wonder what convinced him to do tho$$e commercial$$...

A few comments about some other movies coming out this summer...

Garfield: Is anyone else thinking "Scooby Doo 3"? Enough with the live-action, computer animation movies.
Wimbledon: This is the closest Anna Kornikova will get to winning a tennis tournament, ever.
Dodgeball: When in doubt, go with a sports comedy. Physical humor + Ben Stiller = good.

Grape Tootsie Roll Pops are far superior to any other flavor. The only one that comes close (like how close Los Angeles is to New York) is Raspberry.

One of the great things about John Mayer's music is that it's great for listening in the car when cruising on the highways. It just feels right.

Why does the newest CSI spinoff take place in New York? I can think of at least 4 better places than the Big Apple. Seattle, Minneapolis/St. Paul, Chicago, and St. Louis would all be better choices, IMO. And maybe Boise, Idaho...

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Fritz Baseball Cards

If I manufactured/produced baseball cards, this is how I would do it. I'd stick with only four sets.

Set 1: Cheap cards. Large set size. At least 750, but not past 1000. Single Series. I like Upper Deck's idea of a 40-man roster set, but with 30 teams, that's 1200. Few, if any insert sets (definitely no more than 3). Decent quality. Not necessarily glossing or color on both sides. Packs are 75 cents for 15 cards, or jumbo packs of 40 for $1.60. Good examples to base the set off of: 2000 and 2001 Victory, 1986-1992 Topps, 1991 and 1992 Fleer.

Set 2: Base cards. Set size between 600 and 800. Two Series. Significant number of insert sets. About 6-10. Better quality than Set 1. Both sides hase glossing and color. MAYBE a little foil on the front side of the card (like the company or logo). Three types of packs: hobby, retail, and jumbo. Each type has 2 types of exclusive inserts. The rest of the inserts common to all packs (but possibly at slighty different odds). Some inserts are also series exclusive. Hobby and retail packs are 99 cents for 12, while Jumbo are $1.99 for 25-27. Good example of normal set: 2002-2003 Topps. Good example of insert sets: 1994 Fleer.

Side note: this is the only set with a subsequent Traded/Update/Rookie set.

Set 3: Good cards. Set size 400-500, depending on the size of the base set. Possibly two series, but not definite. Some insert sets (4 +/- 1). No inserts contain game-used memorbilia. Better quality than base set. Packs are $1.49 to $1.99 for 8-10 cards. Jumbo packs (if there would be any) would be 2x cards for $2.49 to $2.99. For lack of experience with higher quality sets, I have no example to base this off of.

Set 4: Premium cards. Small set size, about 150-250. Single Series. Limited print run (I like that way Score Select had about 5,000 sets in the mid-90's). Four insert series. Definitely game-used or autograph cards, but in limited quanitities. That insert set would be limited to 30 cards, and that would be the only set with GU/Auto. Each card in that set would be limited to 200 print runs. Rotate jerseys/bats/autographs every year isn't a half-bad idea. Thicker card stock. Packs are $2.99 to $3.99 for 4-6 cards. A game-used card would take the place of 2 normal cards. That "add a padding thing so you can't feel for them" is highly recommended. Again, for lack of experience, I cannot compare this to any set that already exists.

Final note on baseball cards. Upper Deck just had to go and ruin it. They raised the quality of cards and made the hobby difficult to afford. Damn them.

Tuesday, June 8, 2004

My top 10 favorite cartoons on Cartoon Network (no particular order):
1. Family Guy
2. Futurama
3. The Brak Show
4. Sealab 2021
5. Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
6. Powerpuff Girls
7. Droopy
8. Aqua Teen Hunger Force
9. Tom and Jerry (the newer, the better)
10. Ed, Edd n Eddy

OK, people have to stop "approving these messages". I understand if George Bush, who's running for president, approves the nationally aired advertisements for his campaign. Then Anna Nicole Smith, that dumb *****, started "approving" TrimSpa ads. Like her opinion, or any other thought in her head, counts for anything. Next, the Budweiser donkey used it, and made an ass of himself. But the one that sent it over the edge was the random person running for some piddly little position in Cass County. I'm sure she's quite qualified for the position. And that the office she is running for makes a small difference in North Dakota's largest county. But really, I don't give a fuck if you approve your message or not. How many people are going to care? Honestly.

Let's please keep our currency the way it is. Honestly, I don't think Reagan did enough to earn it. The current cast is fine just the way it is. It's almost like a long running, successful TV show. You don't want to mess with the chemistry and watch it go down the crapper.

Now, more than ever, I need God-like powers. Road construction + rush hour + stupid drivers = one very angry Fritz. If you've even seen "Star Trek", you're familiar with the power the Q have. I'd like that. First, I'd instantly complete all road construction in Fargo. Then, I'd use my power to punish all the idiots who perform stupid driving tricks. Death would be an easy escape for them. I'd prefer to torture them for awhile. Maybe take away their cars for a period of time, kinda like a penalty box. Of course, with infinite powers like that, I wouldn't need to sit in traffic at all. I could just appear wherever I want, whenever I want.

I got a +4 on the OGFGC (Oak Grove Frisbee Golf Course) on Monday. Best ever. Maybe I can get a par by the end of the summer.

The more I see advertisments for "The Chronicles of Riddick", the more I think "That movie might not be so bad." I still think it's going to be terrible. Must not give into the temptation to see it. Well, definitely not pay more than $2 to see it.

I'm going to the Twin Cities to try out for Jeopardy! at the end of the month. I'm thinking of keeping a running diary of what happens. That might be fun.

Sunday, June 6, 2004

It's not "D12 with Eminem" or "D12 featuring Eminem". It's just plain "D12". He's a founding member. He never left his band. Yes, his solo career took off, but he's still one of the six guys in the group. Got it? Good.

In theaters on July, it's the latest piece of garbage from M. Night Whatshisname. How is this man allowed to continue writing and directing movies? And who are these people who think that his movies are good? I saw "The Sixth Sense." Absolutely horrible. What a waste.

If you like sports, you should really check out Bill Simmons' columns in ESPN The Magazine and's Page 2. He knows what he's talking about. The best parts are his ramblings and his mailbag. It's almost like we share a brain (and he uses better and more often than I do).

I can't wait to see Eli Manning crash and burn. What an asshole. Yes, I know the draft was like 6 weeks ago. No, this is nothing like John Elway. Yes, he also wanted to be traded from the team that drafted him, but he had a fallback occupation. If the Colts never gave him his trade, he could have just went to play baseball for the New York Yankees. Thank god that never happened.

OK, here's that ultimate Star Trek crew I promised a long time ago. Rules are as follows: 10 crew members, no one is dead, ranks are as of the character's last appearance in any episode or movie, and no "Enterprise" since that show sucks and fubars the entire Star Trek Universe.

-- Admiral Janeway. By adding an admiral, I can keep this former captain.
-- Captain Picard. Toss up here. I take Picard in peacetime, but like Sisko in wartime.
-- First Officer Cmdr. Riker. He beats out Chakotay as my favorite XO.
-- Chief Medical Officer Voyager's EMH-1 Holographic Doctor. He's the most quirky. And he's got attitude. Bashir comes in at a close 2nd.
-- Chief Engineer Lt. Cmdr. LaForge. I trust no one else with a ship's engines.
-- Conn Officer Lt. (JG) Paris. Best pilot in Starfleet.
-- Chief of Security Lt. Cmdr. Worf. It's a good day to die.
-- Science Officer Lt. Cmdr. Jadzia Dax.
-- Operations Officer Lt. Cmdr. Data. By including separate Science and Operations Officers, I get both Jadzia and Data. IOW: I cheated! :P
-- Astrometrics Officer Seven of Nine. Have you seen what she looks like?

Honorable Mentions: Neelix, Tuvok, McCoy (aka Bones), Quark, Kim.

I'm such a dork. Hee hee.

Saturday, June 5, 2004

I'm calling it right now. There WILL be a Jessica Simpson sex tape. Just a hunch.

There's nothing more satisfying than mixing a chocolate milk in a "Bud Light" pint glass.

Finally, there's a music video station I can enjoy. And I'm in charge. What am I talking about? Yahoo! Launch. I get to choose the videos. And no garbage.

Flip-flops with heels. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around that one.

After the Memorial Day Weekend downpour, the Red River came up about 6 feet. So, the Oak Grove Frisbee Golf Course now has water hazards. It's made every toss an adventure.

Dr. Robert Atkins pisses me off. Well, I should say, the nationwide obsession with the Atkins diet pisses me off. Nearly every company that makes food jumped on that bandwagon. And some of it is just crazy. Like low-carb milk. It's a travesty, and a sham, and a mockery. It's a traveshamockery. If you want to life a healtier life, do the following. PERMANENTLY change your diet, paying careful attention to how much you consume. EXERCISE. It's doesn't have to be a hardcore workout. Just get off your lazy butt and be physically active on a regular basis. BURGLEFLICKLE!!

I'm starting to get stuff ready to sell on eBay. Can't wait for those big bucks to come rolling in.

Please, put your shirt back on Bill Clement. I'll buy as much Deep Woods OFF as you want.

They say it's impossible to consume an entire gallon of milk in an hour. But I say those who attempt it are not using an appropriate strategy. They try to chug the whole thing quickly. I say, do a double-shot (2 oz) every minute. Give your stomach, and body, time to absorb the milk in small amounts. Then, chug an 8 ounce glass to finish it off. If this doesn't work, then I'll probably agree that it's not doable.

Thanks a lot. You've been a great audience.

Tuesday, June 1, 2004

Come over to the dark side...

The NBA playoffs have been WAY better than the NHL playoffs this year. And I'm a man who loves hockey and hates basketball. Why has the NBA put out a better product?

1. Minnesota Timberwolves made it all the way to the Western Conference Finals. This was the first year they won a playoff series. They beat Sacramento in 7. They forced Los Angeles to a Game 6, when most people expected the Wolves to lose in at most 5. But the best part about KG and the T-Wolves run? Someone else cared. I watched several playoff games with my buddies John, John, Brian, and Aaron. Going over to the Maxwell's place became almost ritualistic.

2. The Lakers. OK, most people don't like them, and I was rooting against them in the Minnesota series. But I would like to see Payton and Malone finally win. On one condition: they walk off into the sunset after the Finals.

3. Dallas, Colorado, Detroit, Toronto, and Philadelphia all lost in the NHL playoffs. I wanted to see at least one of these teams win it all. Dallas was one and done. Detroit, Colorado, and Toronto left after the second round. And Philly lost in the Eastern Conference Finals.

4. Calgary and Tampa Bay. I'm not Canadian and I'm not from Florida. I just don't care.

5. The commercials for the NBA playoffs. The Black Eyed Peas rewrote the lyrics to their song "Let's Get Retarded" to fit the basketball theme. The song has a great beat, the TV spots feature some of the NBA's greatest legends, and Fergie is a hottie. The other commercials feature the NBA trophy (I have no idea what it's called) as an object of affection. Gary Payton professing his love outside the window. Jermaine O'Neal waiting for her (it?) to get ready in Larry Bird's living room. Clever. I like it.
All page content ©PFritz21.NET 2004-2010