Monday, January 3, 2005

Pre-blog random thoughts

I plan to blog every Monday night from now on. I wonder how long that will last...

Until then, enjoy these random thoughts. You could see it as a precursor to this blog. Next week: my goals for the new year.

How does Queen Elizabeth II fill out the "Name" portion of a form? Is her first name "Elizabeth", or is it "Queen"? What about a last name? Does she have one? Or does she just use "II" or "the II"? And what about where her occupation? Does she write "Queen of England", or just "Queen", or maybe some verbose title? Does anyone out there know?

Breast implants are like magic tricks. When you see a really good magic trick, you're amazed by how it was done. But when you learn how the magician does it, it just doesn't seem as special. When you see a nice pair of breasts, you're awed by their great shape and size. However, once you learn that they are not natural, they just don't seem as great.

I think I may have decided what to do with the rest of my life. That's right. Eccentric millionaire. I want to pay 70,000 people to fill a football stadium and cheer as I lead my team from a 23-0 deficit to a last-second victory. And other cool stuff. Like buying the Dallas Stars, watch them win a Stanley Cup, and skate with it over my head for hours. Taking batting practice with Torii Hunter, Corey Koskie, Harmon Killebrew, and many other current and former Twins. Building something big and pointless. That would be cool.

What does an aetheist say when you sneeze?

If loose lips sink ships, my sister could send the entire U.S. Navy fleet to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean in less than a second.

The great thing about Iron Chef is how they much such a production out of it. Chairman Kaga's elegant costumes. The orchestra producing the Final Fantasy-esque music. The play-by-play announcing. The rich, detailed storyline.

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