We're #1

Final Score:

United States of America - 110
People's Republic of China - 100*

*NOTE: Until proven beyond a doubt that those gymnasts were all of legal competitve age.

I bet the Janitor's name is John Dorian. Wouldn't that be ironic?

If you're curious, I'm willing to wager a five-spot on it.

Oh, it's on!

Unfortunately, I don't get G4 on basic cable in Fargo. Such a disappointment, 'cuz I'm really missing out.

G4 has X-Play, featuring the lovely Morgan Webb. Queen of all the geeks... until now...

Olivia Munn has two things going for her where she's got Morgan beat.

1. Morgan is married. Olivia is single.
2. This!

There is only one way to settle this battle for supremacy. It involves one member of the Spirit Squad, a set of children's golf clubs, a Nerf football, Peter Pan chunky extra crispy peanut butter, and a Waffle House omelette. YOU figure that one out.

Well played, clerks...

So, people in the present who are looking to obtain a time machine will sometimes resort to leaving messages for future generations to be a time-space location (be at location A at time X), then wait for someone with a time machine to travel back to time X in an effort to steal said time machine.

Still with me? Good.

However, it hasn't worked (so far, to my knowledge). But I think I know how to fix that.

I have to cause an event that makes it necessary for someone in the future to travel back in time to ensure that I cause my event, or else that time traveler will not exist as he does in the future.

Hunh?

I do event A. A causes event B. B causes event C. C directly effects time traveler T in a profound manner, so much so that T comes back in time to when I do event A, to make sure event A happens.

T shows up in my time, I beat his ass, and then I take his time machine.

Now, to determine what I do that direct effects T... Anyone got a time machine?

Welcome to Cooperstown

Jim Edmonds: amazing center field defense, World Series ring, AND 378 home runs? If he can make it to 400 (he turned 38 less than two months ago), I say let him in. I don't see how you can argue with that.

This is why you have to close the borders...

Mexican cartels grow pot in U.S. national forests

You don't have to be a recovering alcoholic rodeo clown to realize this...

Does that count?

Does this whole Brett Farve drama thing qualify as a Madden curse victim?

"The moment you stop learning to play golf is the moment you stop playing golf." - Jeff Kennedy, 7/17/08

I don't know if that's an original Jeff Kennedy quote, but it sure sounded good.