I'm calling it right now. There WILL be a Jessica Simpson sex tape. Just a hunch.

There's nothing more satisfying than mixing a chocolate milk in a "Bud Light" pint glass.

Finally, there's a music video station I can enjoy. And I'm in charge. What am I talking about? Yahoo! Launch. I get to choose the videos. And no garbage.

Flip-flops with heels. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around that one.

After the Memorial Day Weekend downpour, the Red River came up about 6 feet. So, the Oak Grove Frisbee Golf Course now has water hazards. It's made every toss an adventure.

Dr. Robert Atkins pisses me off. Well, I should say, the nationwide obsession with the Atkins diet pisses me off. Nearly every company that makes food jumped on that bandwagon. And some of it is just crazy. Like low-carb milk. It's a travesty, and a sham, and a mockery. It's a traveshamockery. If you want to life a healtier life, do the following. PERMANENTLY change your diet, paying careful attention to how much you consume. EXERCISE. It's doesn't have to be a hardcore workout. Just get off your lazy butt and be physically active on a regular basis. BURGLEFLICKLE!!

I'm starting to get stuff ready to sell on eBay. Can't wait for those big bucks to come rolling in.

Please, put your shirt back on Bill Clement. I'll buy as much Deep Woods OFF as you want.

They say it's impossible to consume an entire gallon of milk in an hour. But I say those who attempt it are not using an appropriate strategy. They try to chug the whole thing quickly. I say, do a double-shot (2 oz) every minute. Give your stomach, and body, time to absorb the milk in small amounts. Then, chug an 8 ounce glass to finish it off. If this doesn't work, then I'll probably agree that it's not doable.

Thanks a lot. You've been a great audience.